What are they thinking?

Age (s) of Autism.... I Couldn't Resist :)

2011-05-30T22:52:00.002-05:00

I have amazing news..news that I cannot hold back any longer!

Our daughter Erin, age 14, was diagnosed with severe Autism in November of
1997. She was the "worst case of autism" our pediatric neurologist had ever
seen...and he had already seen our oldest daughter Caitlin.

Erin started pediatric intervention when she was 13 months old. She actually
had 3 therapist work with her because she was so difficult.
Feces, soap, detergent, lotion, toothpaste, etc...was smeared all over our house.

When she started PPCD classes at 3, they were told..."you think Caitlin is bad, wait
til you meet Erin"...

Erin thrived...she blew these teachers away.

Erin, this week, no longer meets the criteria for Autism in the Austin Independent
School district.
Erin, this year, has been inducted into the National Junior Honor Society...
Erin, this year, was on the President's list of 8th grade students...

Our 11 year old son, Patrick, was diagnosed with Autism in January of 2002.
He had early intervention at 11 months of age and qualified for PPCD at 3 years
of age.
Like Erin, he thrived in school.

2 weeks ago, at Patrick's Transition ARD to Middle School (OMG..Middle School),
Patrick was released from Special Education Services.

Yep...we have 2 children who have opted out of services in AISD.

I credit inclusion and some of the most amazing therapist who have worked with
the throughout the years.

You will not read about these children on Age of Autism...they were not "cured" or
"recovered".
Their stories will not sell medicine or make a doctor famous.
They would be disgusted with a "woe is me" story.
They will not sell a book...although they should.

Are they no longer Autistic.?
Nope...
They are able to be indistinguishable from their peers in the school setting.

They are amazing kids. They have both learned how to be tolerant and calm
in situations they have no control over.
Hell, you try to sit in a school cafeteria without losing you mind !!

At home, we still let them be them...but, we could not be happier with whom they have
become !!

Congrats to our two 2011 graduates...Erin and Patrick....you will change the World!!

STROKE of INSPIRATION

2011-03-27T14:45:00.005-05:00

Life seems to be coasting along and then suddenly, with the blink of an eye...it all changes.
Last Wednesday, March 16, 2011, my Mother collasped in her home. After many tests, they finalized she had a mini-stroke or TIA.
My mom will be 74 in April. She works full-time and drives everywhere. She travels extensively and has the same group of friends she has had since elementary school.
Now, this has all changed...with the snap of a finger!
She is now reliant on people to walk, sit up, eat and even go to the bathroom.
It is heart-breaking to look into her eyes and see how she has come to realize that her life will be changing.
Her short-term memory has suffered, yet she can remember things from over 60 years ago. They say this is common with at stroke.
Her balance is off and her stamina is so much shorter.
Her near future is still left to be determined as far as where she will live and how she will occupy her free time...
But, I am thankful she is still here !!!

Needless to say, our lives have been altered as well as my Mom's.
I have changed my work schedule thanks to my amazing bosses, who have worked with
me so I can be with my Mom every day.
I put Kiernan on the bus at 6:30 am and am to work by 7:00 am.
I am off at 3:30 pm and head straight to the hospital, where I stay until
8:00 or 9:00 pm. Then home I go!!
Patrick has taken over the cooking and every day running of the house.
On weekends, we have our regular functions; ie, Little Patrick's baseball, Deirdre's
church functions, and this last weekend, Caitlin's Special Olympics---she won
a Silver medal in bowling, etc.
Some of the children go with me on the weekend to visit their MeMaw..those that can
handle a few hours at the hospital.
Usually a couple on Saturday and a couple on Sunday.

Having raised 6 children, 5 on varying levels of the Autism Spectrum, I have a great amount of patience. I pride myself on my husband's and my patience level. We have been tested numerous times in our 20 year marriage.
This past 2 weeks, I have been reminded how very strong our bond is. Through Patrick's stregnth, I have found my own.
Our children have all stepped up to the plate as well. They are well-behaved and helping out around the house.
They all have matured so very well and we are so proud of the young adults they are becoming.

Caitlin, our oldest and Kiernan, our youngest and most affected by autism, have raised to this challenge as well. They are remaining calm and happy during this big change in their life.

I am sure, no matter what lies ahead on the next chapter of our lives, we will continue to be the strong family unit we always have been.
I have been inspired by many this past 2 weeks:
-My family for coming together and allowing me to be with my Mom as much as possible.
-My work place...which I love so very much, for allowing me to readjust my schedule and
for caring about me and my mom enough to do so.
-My friends..for rallying together and making my life a bit less stressful than it should be...and shame on you (you know what I mean!!)
and most of all..
-My MOM, for showing me what it means to fight hard and never give up. To persevere beyond
all odds and to keep fighting for your dignity and your health.

You all inspire me to be a better me...and I thank you all for that !!

BUSINESS AS USUAL...

2011-01-21T23:22:00.004-06:00

With all of the HOOPLA going on this past 2 weeks about the fraud reported about the MMR vaccine and Autism...
we, the O'Donnell family...have gone about with life with Business
as Usual...

Our children...all 6 of them, 5 with Autism...have continued to thrive.
All while many changes have gone on...

This week, I decided to catch up on the old forums I used to visit....
I tried to contribute, but honestly, why bother ???
Diane is still bitching and moaning (but thank the Lord she has found SpellCheck), AIR is still sure she was not duped by the goings on of the Mercury Militia, and so on..
Nobody keeps insisting they are Somebody..but, frankly, they are still Nobody!

The good folks at AoA are still insisting that this whole fiasco is propaganda
started by the good ol' USA...and they should know about Propaganda!

Poor George Stephanopoulos decided to take on the doctor the Mercury Militia love so very much...he did not understand the backlash that they would bestow upon him..
George was accused of not even reading the Doctors book...how in the heck would these people know if he did or did not read a book...do you have spies that go that far into a person's life?
If you do, believe me, it would not surprise me at all !!

I received a Kindle for Christmas from my wonderful husband. My first purchase was
Kim Stagliano's book...I actually did not hate it..but,there was one comment she made that I must question..
She stated AoA was started and they would welcome comments...what she did not say was they would welcome comments ONLY if you agree with AoA...she also did not mention that they would hunt down the commenters that disagree with them ( I do not have to elaborate..they know what I mean)..the email witch hunts they do are brutal...
I also notice AoA has changed it's format..they went from looking like the blog they are to a more newspaper kind of format...I guess they think this will make people take them more seriously...
but, SERIOUSLY...they are still just a blog people !!

My second book I bought..The Panic Virus...by Seth Mnookin....thanks Seth, I really hope these desperate parents listen to you...better than that...I hope the doctors who have duped these parents listen more..
Seth dug deep into all the hysteria that surrounds the Mercury/Autism connection. He did this without having anything invested in Autism. He did not write this book to sell a vaccine. He is not riding on the coattails of parent's desperate for a cure or a recovery.

We have people who believe their Autistic children have been cured by listening to Jenny McCarthy and JB, even while their own children are still in Special Education receiving services....

I have a friend who is seeing a local doctor who scoped her child..you guess who the doctor is...she regrets getting involved with this center...but, has invested so much money and emotion..she has been resolved to think they would not lie to her...
she is far too invested...her son is still Autistic...she was told she started too late to help him....SHAME ON THEM !!!

I am so proud of my family.
We wake up every morning...the kids go to school (where they excel, BTW)...Patrick and I work full time...and we join together as a family every night...
All of the kids have extra-curricular activities, with the exception of Kiernan.
Caitlin won a gold medal in bowling at The Special Olympics, she was so proud, as were we of her.
We have family and friends over every weekend...
we carry on..
Business as Usual !!!

NEW YEAR...!!!

2011-01-18T10:27:00.003-06:00

2010 came with a whole slew of changes in our lives...

I started a new position at work...which I love !!! I work with people
whom I love to see every day, and I hope they feel the same way about me !!

I turned 50 years old in November and was thrown a terrific surprise party
full of Old friends and New friends....
Shortly after that, I took a few of the kids to the Domain (a funky mall by our
house)...we were there to take a few coats to the Coats for Kids drive.
I had ulterior motives...Every morning I listen to a local radio station. The
very funny on-air personality "Heather in the morning" had spoken about her autistic
son going to Florida with her husband and daughter. However, she never said how
he did...the son, I mean...
So, Heather in the morning was going to be at the Coats for Kids drive...and me...being nosy (I like to call it inquisitive) wanted to find out how her son
did on the flight.
I saw a beautiful, nicely dressed woman approaching the table they were setting up
for the coat drive..I yell, " Are you Heather in the morning"? She politely
said she was....
I say, "So, how did your son do ? I need to know".
She told me how he did....
We started talking and soon she was hanging out with me, Deirdre, Erin, Meaghan and little Patrick...
We exchanged phone numbers and I am thrilled to say...her family is now a part of
our family....!!!

Caitlin is in the Goodwill Go Project and doing amazingly well. She is well-loved and the star of the program I am told. She works hard and loves going into work.

Deirdre has been inducted into the National Honor Society....I am so very proud. She volunteers often and even took a baby sitting job at the elementary school. GO DEE !!

Erin has blossomed socially and has many friends that share her interests. She loves the friends in her life...she even thinks of them when shopping. She continues to get straight A's and will be starting High School next year...oh my...time flies !!

Meaghan turned 13 years old on Saturday. She is such a mature young lady...with a quick wit and incredibly funny !!! She has so much of her daddy and my humor...I don't know if that is good or bad...but she is hilarious. She is also incredibly beautiful with her huge blue eyes and red hair.

Little Patrick turned 11 in December. He is finishing out his 5th grade year and will begin Middle School in August. He still plays baseball and wants to play football next year-I am still debating that one. He makes As and Bs and is loved by the whole school.

Kiernan is in 4th grade and making great strides. He is still non-verbal but has a voice non-the-less. He knows what he wants and makes sure you understand. He has a straight A report card and glowing remarks about his behavior.

Patrick and I work very hard to make this family work. We have children who most people would have given up on. We have children who some would want to alter or "fix", because they would be looked up on as broken....

The past couple of weeks the Autism community has been more divided as ever. With the conclusion that a certain British, used-to-be Doctor altered his findings and committed fraud (their words, not mine)..those on the side of the Mercury Militia will always believe that he was correct. They are far too invested financially and emotionally to turn back now. It really does not matter what is proven...minds will not be changed..and that is the sad fact about that.
People would rather believe a "has-been" B-movie actress who touts Bo-tox and breast implants, but screams that vaccines are bad....I cannot even fathom that intellect !!

So, here I sit typing...I have missed blogging, but my life has truly been busy. Our children are thriving and growing up. They are maturing and are quite actually amazing young adults and children. Between baseball, choir, band and orchestra...the Anime' and German clubs...and countless recitals and ball games...well, you get the gist !

With all the hysteria that went through the Autism community and the treatments that were thrown out to parents with autistic children...I am so glad my husband and myself did not buy into it....
Our children have thrived without the creams, shots (be it B12 or Lupron), chambers, scopes (ouch), chelation and countless number of pills shoved down their throats....
They have thrived with hard working educators, therapists, friends and family...
they have worked hard to be in the places they are...
And I would not want them anywhere else !!

EMPATHY AND AUTISM...

2010-10-14T21:51:00.002-05:00

I went to help Caitlin after her bath tonight....
I have a strained voice from my cold so I am not speaking in my normal
voice...

Caitlin said, "You're voice is sick !!"
I said, "Just a cold Caitlin, but Thanks"..
Caitlin said, "I will share my cough drops with you"...!!!

To the studies that state there is no Empathy with AUTISM...

YOU have not met MY children....!!!!

I know Short but Sweet...!!!
BUT...worth telling !!!

GOD'S EARS ....

2010-09-07T21:13:00.001-05:00

"GOD'S EARS" IS A FILM FULL OF HOPE

Written, Directed and Starring Michael Worth

As a mother of 6 children, 5 autistic, I rarely have a chance to even watch a film but, I heard about this film called "GOD'S EARS" about an autistic young man well over a year ago and I finally just received the DVD and I have watched it 4 times already! Up until now, the only way you could see the film is if you were actually at a film festival. Finally, the filmmaker is now ONLY selling it off his website which is www.godsears.com

The story is about a fictional character named Noah Connelly who is a boxer with a tireless opponent: Autism. When he meets a "dancer" named Alexia, the two discover together that the toughest fight may be not be of the body, but of the heart. You see, some people are not fighting to win...

First let me say that Michael Worth did an amazing job with his gestures, movement and inflection in his voice when portraying a person with Autism. His acting was impeccable. When he spoke of his knowledge with the different varieties of eggs...he was "dead on.”

Tim Thomerson has always been a favorite of mine and he solidified that with me in this film. What a talented man. I have had a huge crush on John Saxon, going way back to when I was a little girl...He did not disappoint me!!!

I watched the movie with my 13-year-old daughter Erin. Erin was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old. She has since come so far and is on honor roll in regular Middle School in 8th grade. She is brilliant and I really wanted her insight into the movie.

Erin states the Autism community is often "misunderstood and under-represented.” I told you, she is brilliant. I asked Erin if she thought it would be possible for a person with autism to fall in love, as Noah did at the end of "God's Ears"... Erin said, "Why Not"??? Autism is such a complex disorder and they are each different and unique in their own way.

Temple Grandin once stated, "I often wonder...what would a totally normal brain be like.” "It might be really boring" Temple is right...Normal is so very over-rated.

My husband and myself have much work ahead of us! Not only do we have to prepare our children for society but, we have to prepare society for our children....

I truly hope "God's Ears" will help prepare society a little bit more, and I think it will. In this film, Noah shows us not only can a person with "differences" find love and acceptance, but the people who he is touched by are first touched by him.

Every person has a story, and every story needs to be told....But it is taking the time to listen that makes the difference! Those who took the time to listen to Noah, learned a lot.....!!!!

Jeanette

SYNOPSIS:

An autistic boxer and a nomadic stripper form a tenuous friendship that helps them both to better understand the world that appears to have left them both behind. Noah Connelly (Michael Worth) is an aspiring boxer from Oakland, California. Most of Noah's days are spent cleaning the floors at his local gym, patiently waiting for the perfect moment when he'll finally step into the ring and his future will come into focus. To the casual observer Noah leads an entirely unremarkable existence, though exotic dancer Alexia (Margot Farley) is far from the casual observer. One day, after crossing paths seemingly by chance, Noah and Alexia begin to affect the way Alexia views the opposite sex. To this point in her life, Alexia has taken a somewhat transient approach to relationships. Now, as her friendship with Noah begins to show signs of becoming something more serious, Alexis discovers that her approach to love may hint at a deeper pain that she isn't sure she possesses the power to confront. Encouraged by the owner of the gym (John Saxon) to introduce Alexia to his family, Noah invites her on a journey that will take her out of her comfort zone while challenging her entire perception of love. Perhaps if Alexia can find the courage to confront her deepest fears, Noah can summon the self-confidence to strap on the gloves and prove himself as a true pugilist. Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

There but for the grace of God, go I,,,,

2010-08-23T21:40:00.002-05:00

I read a post last night on Age Of Autism...written by Kim S. about her beautiful daughter
being abused on her school bus by a person who thought it was okay to abuse a child with
autism.
This brought me back to when our oldest daughter, Caitlin, who started school 16 years ago.
I remember meeting the bus in my drive way and watching a woman yank my child out
of her car seat and scream at her to "get the hell out of the seat"....
I said to myself..."don't say a word...go inside and make the phone call"....over and over
again in my head. I mean...if this woman would do this in front of me...what was she
doing behind my back?
I went in the house and called the bus company and explained that if this person was on
the bus the next day...there would be trouble.
I then called the Principle of the school and stated that if this is what AISD hired for bus
attendants...we were going to have a problem.

Fast forward, 3 years later, my beautiful daughter came home from school with bruises
down her back. Come to find out...her teacher was abusing her.

We, as parent's have to trust the people we entrust our children to...unfortunately...these
people are not always Good People...they are evil.
A good person would not take advantage of someone who was unable to defend themselves...
someone who is adored at home and does not know that there are people out there that
could care less about them.

I hope my child(ren) do not think that I knew about this pain that would be put upon them...
I hope they know that I had NO idea that this was happening....after all... I put them on that
bus and in that classroom.

I know, at that time, my trust in the education system went out the window...
I just want to let Kim know....
We have had 5 more children go through the system...
our children have come in contact with many educators and bus drivers and attendants
who have adored and loved our children.....
Our faith has been restored...but, we are always leery of someone new who comes in
contact with our children....

I truly am sorry your daughter had to go through this....I am sorry you and your husband
had to feel the pain....
We really need to continue to fight for our children....and with us...it continues into
Adulthood...

When I go to bed each night, I thank God for my children....
I pray they are well protected and live long lives. I thank God for giving me the
precious gifts that he bestowed upon me....
I just wish every one saw our kids that way !!!!

INDEPENDENCE...

2010-07-05T17:26:00.003-05:00

....is not just a day around this house.
Independence must be a way of life around here.

I am working full-time and loving my job. Who knew I could be a mom of 6 children and still
get to enjoy working in a career I am actually pretty good at?

I work with the most supportive persons and they strive to see each person succeed. So far,
2 promotions...and yes, I am working on a third.

My children are stepping up to the plate as well. They have been taught the basics of cooking, so far, so good !!!
They can scramble their own eggs at breakfast along with toast or a waffle, make their sandwiches and soup at lunch....
Now...dinner is up to me.
Even though I am a bit tired after work, cooking is my "valium"...along with the glass of wine
I drink while I prepare dinner.
I cook a meal every night...on Saturday and Sunday...I prepare several meals for the week for
eating during lunch or leftovers.

I am very proud of the way my family is allowing me the privilege to have a career after always
having me at home and available for them.

Today, after work, I took Caitlin to Walmart to get her Yu-Gi-Oh cards for the month. She picks out her cards, stands in check-out, and pays with her own money. She knows exactly how much change she is to get and tells the cashier. They are pretty nice about her telling them their job, but they realize pretty early on she has a disability.
I am so very proud of her. Caitlin has come so far.

Kiernan is in school until the 29th of July. He needs the structure school gives him. And, he
adores the teachers where he attends Summer School. He is loved there and they beam at every accomplishment he makes.
Kiernan loves the bus ride and the bus driver and attendant take very good care of him.

Independence is vital for our kids. I do not want them relying on others for their every day
needs. It is my job as their mother to prepare them for the future.
That must include keeping the house clean (I am working on that one), picking up their rooms (they are pretty good at this), doing laundry and being able to cook and feed themselves.
I have no doubt they will succeed....

As hard as it will be to eventually see them leave our home, I hope to have the satisfaction that Patrick and myself helped them be Independent....
Now, if they want to stick around a bit longer than what is expected...that is so very alright with me...
Maybe I am more dependent on my children than they are dependent on me!!!
Hmmm...that's a thought !!!

PANTENE...

2010-07-01T23:38:00.003-05:00

Okay..I have had very short hair for many, many years....

In 1985, I had hair down to my buttocks... My hair is so curly, that I French-braided it every day before I went to school and work.

Around 1985, Sheena Easton came out with an album. On her album, Sheena had a very cute short haircut....I wanted that haircut. I went to 3 different stylists and they each said to me, "it will be too drastic"... A friend of mine took me to her hair stylist who massacred my hair....so, the next day I went to work at The San Marcos Treatment Center... 2 co-workers of mine...Renee Bratton and Karla Sawyer said to me, "Oh, no way"...and proceeded to cut my hair the way I wanted...just like Sheena Easton...

Okay, long story not so short (no pun intended)... I have had short hair since 1985..until this year... I have let my hair grow out a bit (for personal reasons)..

So, with my naturally curly hair..I use Pantene for curly hair...I LOVE IT !!!

My 16-year-old daughter, Deirdre comes down with tears in her eyes tonight... I asked her what' up...she says," I saw a YouTube about a Pantene commercial and it made me sad".... "Would you watch it with me?"... Of course, absolutely... It is from Pantene... I knew I used this product for a reason... I totally understand why Deirdre loves this video..when you see it..you will understand Deirdre too....

I am so very proud to be the mother of this extraordinary young adult...she has a heart and feels emotions. This is a huge breakthrough for her....

Deirdre also plays the violin and must see herself through this young woman with a disability. But, in my eyes...Deirdre is not disabled but a fully functional child with empathy...

What Mom could want more from a child?

SUMMERTIME..and the Living is...

2010-06-29T22:36:00.004-05:00

Well, maybe not so easy...but...

We are moving forward.

Caitlin graduated from high school and is taking the Summer off before starting a program through
Goodwill this Fall. She is continuing with her Recreation Therapist...the amazing Keara...and enjoying her time off.

Deirdre will start Driver's Education in a couple of weeks...believe it or not...this is much more an anxiety problem for me than it is for Deirdre. She will begin 11th grade next year and is considering many college choices...OH MY !!!

Erin is 13 years old...opinionated and WAYYYY too tall for her age. She is just shy of 5'11" and carries herself like a model. Now, I know she is smart...but, I do need to remind her that I have a bit more life experience than she has...

Meaghan is your very typical 12-year-old girl....MAKEUP, CLOTHES and the occasional BOY...
Yes, in that order Thank Goodness !!!

Patrick went to Germany with his Grandmother, as an exchange program with our elementary school...he is the 4th and last child of ours to go...
It was tough for him at first, but he managed...
He is one good little boy !!

Kiernan started Summer school last week and will continue until the end of July. They adore him, as usual. He is pure joy.
Now, don't get me wrong, he is very challenging, but hey, that is parenting...

Patrick got a promotion, as did I...
We still have big bills to pay and feeding these growing kids is not easy..but,
I would not change my life for anything.

Every now and then, I still sneak over to the old Autism forums and lo and behold...
there they are...
The same ol', same ol'...
ranting about the same ol', same ol'...

Sort of like the Soap Opera you watched in college...then, years later you turn them on to
see if it has changed...NOPE !!!
D is still ranting and raving and doing that Right-fighting thing she does so well as well as
forgetting that just because you remove a comment, does not mean we do not remember it...
Can you say lighter ???!!!
Someone who is NoOne is still...well, NOBODY !!!
Someone who says Autism is Reversible still has anger issues...OY!!!...
you get what I am saying..

The hypocrisy is still rampant. They put down a reporter for reporting on their precious Boyd Haley and his concoction for being a former "cupcake" reporter...yet,
they forget their own David Kirby was once reporting on the Gay beaches in Puerto Villarta!!!
What made Mr. Kirby suddenly become the poster child for investigative reporting?
Oh, that's right, he wrote what they wanted to hear!!!
Got it :)...

So, in this amazing house of mine...
without biomedically made up chemicals (can you say OSR ?), Chelation,
GFCF diets, B12 shots, or any of the other suggestive treatments from these
DAmN! Docs...
we are thriving..
we are making progress..
Isn't that all we want from our children???

We don't need to "recover" or "cure" what is not broken...
we need to nurture and love what we are blessed with...
the results are amazing!!

THE GRADUATE....

2010-06-05T21:53:00.003-05:00

I am extremely proud to announce that our oldest daughter, Caitlin, has officially graduated from High School....
Yep, this young woman, with a 3.6 GPA has graduated.

Am I a proud mama...???

YOU BETCHA !!!

This young lady has worked her butt off...she kept her cool in classes...she did her homework
( yes..by herself)...she earned her grades.

I sat amongst several thousand parent's, relatives and friends in a very large arena and thought to myself...
"will Caitlin freak out....???"
"will she be able to hold it together???"
"will she be able to cross the stage, shake several hands, get her picture taken, and then
walk off without a hitch???"

YOU BETCHA !!!

So, I proudly announce the graduating Senior...CAITLIN CAROLE O'DONNELL...Anderson High School Class of 2010.!!

CATCHING UP...

2010-05-17T18:12:00.002-05:00

I have really neglected my blogging this past month....lots of stuff going on around here.
I have given up on the daily "Age of Anger" blog that I would read every morning to rile
me up....same old, same old...
I think pretty soon, their redundancy will play out and people will move on...
I mean, you can only sell so many books...right???

This past month, Deirdre turned 16 years old and took a trip with her choir class. She acclimates well to travel and all the anxieties that come with the travel; ie, restaurants they stop at, bedding issues, too many girls in the bathroom, etc.

Caitlin brought home her cap and gown today...yes, I welled up...I am so proud of her!!

I took a tour of the GO PROJECT !! that Caitlin will be attending until she is 22 years old.
My Mom went with me and it was amazing. The young adults were happy and enjoyed what they were doing. They were surrounded by people who love them and I am so happy Caitlin has been accepted into their program.

Yes, I realized after touring the program that my daughter is severely disabled...but, I could not be more proud of her.

You see...I do not look at my children's life as ending when they received the Autism diagnosis...
I look at this as a different avenue that we have to take.
Their autism really doesn't have anything to do with me...other than the fact that it has made me a better person...and most important...a better mother.!!

At the tender age of 49, I was hired by a company that I worked for in my early 20's. I was blessed that they decided to hire me again.
In the last 7 months, I have gotten 3 promotions.
I love my job. I love working full-time.
I am blessed to be able to make my own schedule.
I am blessed that my children have adapted to my routine and they have made me so very proud.
I am blessed that I have a husband who said, "Good for you, try it, and if it doesn't work out, quit".....

I am most glad that several years ago, I discovered many people who had the same thoughts I did about Autism....
I scoured blogs and websites hoping to find people who did not despair and cry about Autism, but instead...chose a different viewpoint. I have found some really cool people who have some of the same ideas and beliefs I do.
We do not always agree, but, we seem to keep it civil.

I could then release the anger that I was holding onto..
which, in turn, made my children so much happier !!

I have been the mother of children with autism for over 19 years. I have learned so much from my oldest child down to my youngest.
The rules of Autism have changed in the last 19 years also.
Due mostly to the fact that too many people have their hands in the pot...and some of them should not be in there at all.
My heart aches for the children whose parent's feel they must neglect their other children, or blame the Autistic child for them not spending enough time with their other children.
I do not grieve the loss of my children....they are standing right in front of me and I choose to bask in their glory....
I do not feel cheated or defeated...but,

I feel honored and blessed to be able to be in their presence and that God has chosen me to carry that honor of being their Mother !!!!

AUTISM AWARENESS.....

2010-04-19T20:51:00.002-05:00

Are you aware of Autism?

Well, if you are not, don't you think it is about time you become aware of Autism?

We all know someone who has autism...or, someone who's child(ren) have autism. There are autistic kids in your family, school, neighborhood and city. You see them every day, whether you
notice them or not...they are around you.
People with autism have ALWAYS been around you...you probably just did not notice.

I babysat a child with autism when I was 11 years old. I am 49...you do the math!!!
I worked with autistic teenagers while going to college. That was from 1980 until 1985, when
I decided to follow another career path (again, you do the math)...

People who state there were no autistic adults 30 years ago led a very sheltered life. Just Google insane asylums and you will see photos of rooms filled with naked, heavily-medicated, poorly cared for adults. They were called "insane", "mentally retarded", "schizophrenic" and basically, thrown away from society so we did not have to see them. They were not offered an education and, well, let's just be honest...put away until their death.

I would imagine that a great majority of those patients would be considered autistic these days. I would imagine their parent's would not be advised to medicate them to where they are non-functional and completely lethargic. They would be offered an education and therapies. The parent's would have hope their children would not be doomed for a life of "hell"...

I know, I know....there are some parent's who still believe the diagnosis of autism is a definition for a life that is doomed....

Not this Momma....ain't gonna happen on my watch....

Five of our children carry the autism label...they are functioning in society and society has
so-far, opened up its arms wide and strong for my children.

Caitlin, 19, who is labeled severely autistic will graduate from high school in June. She has been accepted into a program that will train her and help her find her way after high school. I could not be any more proud of her than if she was accepted to an Ivy League college....she continues to amaze me.

Deirdre, 16 in May, who is labeled with Asperger's Syndrome , is already touring colleges. She has already seen colleges in Texas and Louisiana. She still struggles with her social cues, but her friends understand her and love her. Not bad for a Sophmore in High school.

Erin, 13, PDD-NOS, is on the student council, performs at UIL choir functions and was selected to perform at Cafe night. She has an amazing voice. She is tall and statuesque. She also has some social issues, but maintains a tight-knit group of friends. She has managed to keep her honor roll, straight A status since Elementary school.. Not too shabby for 7th grade.

Meaghan, 12, NT, is becoming quite the social butterfly. I just wish her interest in make-up would be replaced by a bigger interest in her math grade...
She is witty and like it or not...a lot like her mother.

Little Patrick, 10, PDD-NOS, has just been selected for the Safety Patrol Squad at school. Quite an honor to be selected, by the way. He is in his 2nd season of Little League and he loves his baseball. He still obsesses about the weather, and worries about his Uncle Wayne in Oklahoma (tornadoes, ya know?)...I am hoping he channels this into a future as a meteorologist. He has a great group of little boys he calls friends with amazing parent's who love him.

and Kiernan...9, with severe autism is pure energy and motion. Still non-verbal, but don't give up on him yet. He is loud when he wants to be heard. Yes, he is in dire need of a haircut (kinda looks like David Cassidy in the 1970's), but...his classmates and friends love his hair..He has also maintained straight A's...smart as a whip this one!!!

My family has an amazing support group around us. I know I could call any one of them to be here when I need them...And they have never disappointed us !!!
They love our kids and our kids love them back...

So, back to my original question...
Are You Aware of Autism???

Well...you are NOW!!!!

PERMANENTLY DISABLED...

2010-03-22T22:42:00.002-05:00

I took my son Kiernan, 9 as of Saturday....to his biannual Pediatric Neurologist appointment.
Kiernan was in a great mood and even though we had to park very far away...he followed
every direction given to him
When the doctor saw him he said..."Oh, my...he is in such a good mood, let's go ahead and
take his blood pressure"..
You see..usually, Kiernan does not like that little bit of pressure put on his arm.

Prior to going to our appointment, I had printed out an application for a disability placard and
license plates for Kiernan. He is so happy when we go shopping that sometimes he jolts out
into the traffic...I thought it would not hurt to ask so we could park closer for him...

The application stated "Permanent Disability" or "Temporary Disability"....

After reading the document...our doctor stated "this would be a Permanent Disability...
Autism is permanent..."

Of course...I had to open my big mouth...
I said,"According to Jenny McCarthy...Autism can be diagnosed , taken away, and then
re-diagnosed...depending on the "toxic overload (dontcha know ?)"..!!!

The great doctor said...."You know...she is not a scientist nor a physician, don't you?"
"The only reason they even print her is to sell the magazine"...!!

Did I tell you he was "BRILLIANT" ?

My children have a Permanent Disability....it is not a come and go diagnosis.
Any doctor that would actually diagnose Jenny McCarthy's son with Autism , un-diagnose him,
then re-diagnose him again (I guess depending on what book or television show she is selling) is not really a very reputable doctor after all, are they? I have my guess about what kind of DAmN doctor they are..., but there is no way in heck that a reputable doctor would diagnose a child with autism and then remove the label and then put the label back when it deemed necessary.

I accept my children's disabilities...
I know they have a long road ahead of them...
I will help them down every path that lies ahead for them...

In the Neurologist's office, while Kiernan and I waited, was a little girl. She was so tiny...maybe
18 months to 2 years old. She had a facial deformity and every one was staring at her.
She walked up to Kiernan, who was rocking in his chair....this little Angel touched his leg (she was aptly named Sunshine...you cannot make that up!!)...
Kiernan touched her face...
I said," Hey pretty girl...this is Kiernan"..
Her mother said, "thank you"....

Our children's disabilities may be permanent....

But, temporarily today, I saw two children who could care less that either one was permanently disabled in any way, shape, or form......

LAZY DAYS ???

2010-03-21T23:01:00.003-05:00

Bonnie Skala Kiladitis http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/ Blogger mom whose 5 (of 6) kids have ASD. I've never read about someone so anti-biomedical. She's certainly earned her right to speak but she's quite negative towards DAN! (P.S. Certainly does not surprise me that it's an AOL article - they get $$$ from Pharma ads.)
March 14 at 4:46pm · View Feedback (2)Hide Feedback (2) · Report

Kim Rossi Stagliano
She appeared on Extreme Home Makeover - many of us (who found the GFCF diet ameliorated behaviors) commented on the grilled cheese sandwiches she was making as she spoke of her child who liked to break things. I wish them well - it's not easy to have more than one on the spectrum that's for sure. I have three. She has 5! Wow.
March 15 at 2:40pm · Report

Marco Loretto
Good for her. Let her continue in her misery. Fact is she is like many who are too lazy to do what it takes.Only fanatics get to recover their kids.
Fri at 9:50pm · Report

I just found this on the Generation Rescue Facebook site.....

I must comment...

First off...

Bonnie...Kim was also featured on the AOL Health site...did you miss that one?

Is she paid off by Big Pharm too???

Or is it because she is on your side...it does not matter that Big Pharma paid for

some ads on AOL ?

Second...

Kim...My son liked to hear glass break...He does not do that any more.

Is he cured?

Don't think so. But he has alleviated that behavior. He still loves his cheese, but

now prefers it on a tortilla now.

Third...

Marco...
Do you know me?

How the heck can you call me lazy?

I wake up every day at 6 am.

I put my first child on the bus at 6:3o am.

I walk my second child to school at 7:30 am after I feed the 3 middle children.

My oldest gets on the bus at 8:30 am and then I am at work by 9:00am.

I work until 5:00 pm when I start dinner.

By 10:00 pm I am able to finish the dishes (no dishwasher thank you) and get

to take my bath.

I am very lucky to get to bed by midnight.

I am not complaining, by the way...just stating the fact that I am not LAZY....

My husband and I work our butts off to get our kids to school, school activities,

sports, therapies and other appointments.

They are amazing kids....

Sorry you did not get that from the interview...if in fact you actually read it...

Oh, and I am not miserable...btw !!!

Okay, I have let off my steam..

I did not name call...I just stated what the facts are...

I really don't care if any of these people see this...

This rant was for me....

Man...I feel so much better now....

Off to bed.

Back to school tomorrow..after Spring Break...6 am comes mighty early !!!

THE IDIOCRACY OF JENNY MCCARTHY

2010-03-19T18:09:00.005-05:00

Jenny McCarthy has an interview with Hollywood Life while attending Chelsea Handler's book
signing....
Ms. McCarthy states that her son has been "undiagnosed" with Autism...yet, and this is a HUGE
yet...he might get Autism back because Autism is toxic overload and you never know if he will be overloaded again...
Kind of hilarious coming from a woman who touts botox injections....(talk about hypocrisy)...!!!

Here is the excerpt:

Jenny McCarthy couldn’t be happier with her son’s marked improvement. Although recent reports suggested that her 7-year-old son, Evan, was wrongly diagnosed with autism in 2005, Jenny insists to us exclusively that her son DID have the disorder, but has since been cured thanks to advances in treatment.

“My son is completely better…You wouldn’t be able to tell!” Jenny, 37, raved to us at her friend Chelsea Handler’s Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang, Bang book launch party at the Beverly Hilton March 17. “I think autism is toxic overload … it might come back. But for now, he’s undiagnosed.”

Watch the video to hear Jenny discuss some side effects Evan is still experiencing, including ADD-like symptoms, as well as where she sees her son’s diagnosis in the future.

Now see...this is the type of statements made by Jenny and her crew that really gets my
blood boiling.

Autism is a diagnosis that has been so misused by people who are so desperate for a "cure"
that they actually think you can remove the label....

In the interview..Jenny states he is a bit ADD, but that is it....
Hey Jenny....!!!
ADD is a behavior with Autistic children...

And, if this is true, why is this young boy still being taught in a school for Autistic
children?

And Jenny....Autism does not come and go...that is just pure crap...

I just wish you would mind what you say before you open your uneducated, misinformed,
brain-washing mouth.
Parent's like myself, who are out there fighting every day for services for our children are
getting a bit ticked off because you make Autism seem so nonchalant....
Easy come...easy go !!!!

For all the parents out there that think Autism is "toxic overload" or "mercury poisoning"...
do me a favor...
Remove the autism diagnosis from your child now.....
that way more services will open up for our children who respond to the proven therapies
that work.
Autism is not a diagnosis to play with. We worked hard to try to get the diagnosis for our oldest daughter over 18 years ago. It was not an easy diagnosis to get from even a neurologist. But, the diagnosis meant the door opened wide for better services and more of them.
18 years later, I have to beg for these services. I have to sit and watch as my daughter's therapies were cut in half due to lack of funds.

If you watch the interview with Jenny...you see that she states Evan speaks, has eye contact and makes new friends....
WOW!!!
So do my autistic kids....
My kids relish hugs and kisses...they love to grab my face and look at me and others.
They love to maintain contact with us and those around them.
All but Kiernan are verbal...and believe me, we know what he wants when he wants it...

Don't get me wrong...I am thrilled Evan speaks and maintains eye contact....that is wonderful.
But, please...and I mean PLEASE....
Don't use the Autism label as a label that can be put on a child and taken off just because their
"toxins" are overloaded....
that is doing harm to parent's who are really trying hard to maintain services without disrupting our children's lives.
Autism is not like a bandage...you don't put the label on when it is deemed necessary and remove it when they are "better".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME ???

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE FRIENDS...and FAMILY...

2010-03-18T22:00:00.003-05:00

Almost 6 months ago, I began a new chapter in my life....I started working full-time
after being a stay-at-home mom for over 10 years.
Yeah, I had some part-time writing gigs with some internet companies, but to be
fully employed with benefits was a huge step for me and my family.

First off, I had to find someone I could count on to help me care for my amazing kids while
I was in training and while I am upstairs at work....Enter Helen Hutka....
She came in and filled in...
From day one...when I had to go in-office to work for training...I did not worry one little bit
about my kids.

Second, I had to adjust my daily cooking schedule. Now, I spend most of my days off
making the meals for the week. It works out well. Not really a big deal after all.

Third, I had to learn to use my time more wisely. I am still working really hard on this.
It is getting better...but, I have more to learn on this subject.

So, after 6 months and one promotion...yep, I got promoted in February...it seems that this
is the career for me for many years to come.
I am so happy to have a career at the tender age of 49.
Gone are my days of obsessing over the internet and who is writing what about who on
the Autism web sites. Gone are my days of the petty bickering on the autism forums...
and frankly, I do not miss it one bit.

I work from home, so I get to see my kids during my afternoon break. I get to ask how their
days were and what is for homework....
I get smiles and hugs...
Who could ask for more than that during a work day?

Most of all....
My family has stepped up to the plate to allow their middle-aged wife and mom to fulfill
her dream to actually work a corporate job and be really good at it. They don't question my
hours (which I get to set, btw) and know when my door is shut...it stays shut.
They take care of each other very well....I am so very proud of how they have matured in
the last few months. I hope we had taught them well....and I guess this proves it.

This last Sunday, my interview with AOL Health was posted on the front page of AOL. I had
many people complement me. I had a couple of nasty remarks on my blog, but just a couple.
What surprised me the most was a couple of family members who emailed me and questioned
my motives along with a couple of friends who decided that they did not like that I got some
attention....that is okay....
I had a friend remind me that true friends celebrate our highs and help us through our lows...thanks Kim ;)

In the long run...it is my friends and family who stand by us when we are at our highs and our
lows...who realize the amount of work it takes for our family to be the amazing family we are.
We could not have done it without the family members and friends who have become our family who stood by us for many years. It is you guys who make us complete....

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY....

2010-03-17T18:23:00.002-05:00

I was not born Irish, not by any means...but, I did marry into a 100% Irish family.
So, the traditional Irish fare is in order for tonight.
I worked a full day, out of the house today...ran to Randall's (our grocery store), bought
some Irish cheese, Guinness Stout beer, cabbage, potatoes and yes...the corned beef (which
is now filling my kitchen with the aroma of St. Paddy's Day).

You see...I have to St. Patrick's in this house...and they love their day.

So, as they are out practicing with Little Pat's baseball team..I am making sure they will
have their "Saintly" dinner.

My only dilemma...do I really want to make the Irish Soda Bread??

Do I really have a choice ??

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY....

because after all...today we are all a bit Irish, aren't we???

RIGHT ON TARGET....

2010-03-16T11:13:00.002-05:00

After spending all day yesterday with my son Patrick, 10 and my mom Gloria (no age inserted) attending a funeral in San Antonio, Tx...I just want a very relaxed, very much earned, calm day off.
Yesterday, we went to the burial of a life-long friend of my family's. He was probably the nicest, kindest man I have ever met, short of my own father. Bill was married to his wife for 52 years and the devoted father of 2 girls.
We were raised with this family as if they were our true relatives. We would take camping trips as far away as Wyoming with them. We loved and fought like sisters.
Every New Years Day was spent watching football at either their home in San Antonio or our home in Austin.
My son, Patrick, was the most patient I have ever seen him. He sat for over 3 hours. He had never been to a funeral...I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted.
Patrick shook hands with the men and hugged the women. He even put a flower on the casket at the end of the funeral.
While eating lunch a bit later....Patrick thanked me for letting him come with his memaw and myself. He was happy to have experienced something that he had never experienced before.
I am very glad I took him.

So, back to today....
Caitlin has earned her reward for the month by doing the "right" things. You know...no unwarranted tantrums, no pulling out her hair in huge clumps, taking care of her personal needs with little or no help (now, that is a HUGE deal for her), etc.
Off we go to Target to get her YuGiOh cards. She is so happy !!!
When Caitlin is in Target, she is oblivious to her surroundings...she is on a mission...
She walks past this mother with her teenage son and daughter.
As Caitlin passes, she gently nudges her children out of Caitlin's way...you see, Caitlin is humming and flapping....typical shopping Caitlin...
Her children look at Caitlin and start snickering...they are amused by her. I have to admit, it is quite different if you have never seen it before.
Caitlin got her cards and I said to her, "Great job Caitlin"..."you are such a good girl"...
Caitlin says, "Yeah"..."lets go mom"....

I am so glad that she is oblivious to the curiosity around her. It is not for her to educate the world about Autism...that is my job. Caitlin is to be focused on school, home and the occasional treat she has worked so hard for...
I cannot expect the shoppers at Target, or their children, to understand my daughter.
Caitlin tries very hard to conform to the rules that are given to her...most of the time, she is
right-on target....but today, in Target....she was on a quest for YuGiOh...and she conquered !!

MY AOL HEALTH Interview...

2010-03-07T12:40:00.002-06:00

http://www.aolhealth.com/2010/03/04/caring-for-autistic-children-jeanette-odonnell/

On her frank and funny blog, What Are They Thinking ?, 49-year-old Jeanette O'Donnell chronicles her life as the mother of six children, five of whom are autistic. O'Donnell, a hotel reservations clerk who works from her Austin, TX, home, details her children's remarkable progress and challenges in school and makes an argument against invasive medical treatments and for neurodiversity -- the belief that autism is not a disorder and that people with autism have a different sort of order that should be respected and accepted, not pathologized. So how do O'Donnell and her husband, Patrick, the manager for a printing company, maintain their positive approach to raising children? We spoke to O'Donnell to find out.

AOL Health: Five of your six children are autistic. What role do you think genetics play?

JO: I believe that in my family, it's genetic. Kiernan, my youngest and my most severely affected [Kiernan is not verbal], has never had a vaccination. I didn't vaccinate him because when he was born, I was sure that it was vaccinations that [caused autism]. And three of my daughters were born in a birthing center, so they had no medical interactions.

AOL Health: You view autism as an incurable neurological disorder, while other people see it as curable and linked to external causes. Can you explain your perspective?

JO: They believe it's a vaccine injury -- that the measles germ from the measles vaccine settles in the gut and you get leaky gut syndrome. I believe that it's a neurological disorder, that you're wired differently. You can train a brain to rewire itself, but you can't cure autism. Since I had Caitlin 19 years ago, I've seen 19 causes of autism: It was the mother's fault; it was breastfeeding; it was vaccines; it was environmental. And I don't buy it. We took the focus off what caused it and put it on how to make these children very functional. And now we have five very functional children.

AOL Health: You are opposed to certain aspects of the biomedical approach to autism. Why?

JO: I don't believe in chelating [a controversial process that removes heavy metals from the body with side effects such as fever, headache, vomiting and convulsions] or performing colonoscopies on a kid. I don't believe in freaky diets like the elemental diet [an all-liquid nutrition therapy] that forces a child to follow a liquid diet. I don't believe in administering B12 shots or suppositories that supposedly pull out metals. I don't believe in IVIG infusion [a blood product administered intravenously] unless they actually need it [for inflammatory or autoimmune disease]. A lot of the parents have been told by a DAN [Defeat Autism Now] doctor that their child needs these treatments and that you're not being a good parent unless you do everything to cure your kid. These doctors are so invested financially and emotionally in these programs that they can't stop or they think they will have failed the children. I know a woman whose son is on the elemental diet and sits in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber and is chelated. She puts a nicotine patch on his butt to help his hyperactivity, which, to me, is child abuse.

AOL Health: Aren't these parents just desperate to help their kids?

JO: The media needs to quit making autism so desperate. You don't see the stories about hope and happiness. People want to see a cure. [O'Donnell's 10-year-old son] Patrick lost his diagnosis of special ed last week, but nobody in those communities wants to hear about it.

AOL Health: Why not?

JO: Because it took hard work. Because Patrick worked his butt off. The media should show him, not kids who get the metals pulled from them and still don't talk. It takes dedicated kids and supportive people to see progress. These kids want to be functional, too. If you take a 2-year-old diagnosed with autism in five years, you will see a change, but not by sitting in a room and watching him rock. You have to work with him.

AOL Health: Studies show that 10 percent of kids can be cured with intensive behavioral therapy. How do you explain it?

JO: I say 10 percent of those children grew up and matured and became better. I have a cousin that didn't talk until he was five; he used to rock and bang his head. He's now a bank president. I know a girl who had cerebral palsy, and they said she would never walk, and she's in ballet and tap now. I learned a long time ago that doctors aren't always right.

AOL Health: You discuss how your children have improved -- how Caitlin, your eldest with severe autism, will be capable of living on her own, and how two of your children who previously had severe autism now are diagnosed on the very low end of the spectrum. What led to such improvements?

JO: Erin, our 13-year-old, was diagnosed as severely autistic at 18 months. They said to not expect much from her. She smeared toothpaste, shampoo, poop. We were prepared to have the worst time with her. So we sent her to therapy [occupational, speech, and physical] five days a week until she was 5, and then we added play therapy. She got to kindergarten, and she was put into the regular kindergarten, and she started talking. By the end of kindergarten, though, they were going to hold her back because she couldn't read. When we told her why she would be staying back, she taught herself, and by the time she got reevaluated, she was above and beyond her reading level. She has straight A's with no help from anyone. One of the teachers in middle school last year said, "Thank you for raising such a lovely child, so smart and so pleasant." I wanted to take credit, but she had done it all. She thought there was no reason she couldn't.

AOL Health: You send your kids to public school rather than homeschool them or send them to a special school. How do you make this work for them?

JO: When Caitlin started school, we didn't have a choice. She was the first autistic child in the elementary school. She thrived there because she had interaction with kids who didn't have autism. She knew colors and numbers that we didn't know she knew. She's had an aide since kindergarten. Now, she needs the aide only for safety reasons because she is easily misled. Someone could say, "Come here and pull your shirt up," and she would do it. But she goes to classes by herself and her true grades are A's and B's and she can graduate this summer.

AOL Health: Do the kids behave themselves in school?

JO: Society doesn't have to accept my kids, but I have to make these kids accept what society expects. They have to live by society rules, and that means no meltdowns in public. Years ago, we had a behavior therapist for Caitlin, who was coming home and tearing clothes out of closest and drawers while behaving well at school. The therapist said, "What would you prefer? For her to be loopy at school or home?" They need an outlet, so they have one at home. They can jump and flap and hum and do whatever they want around here.

AOL Health: As someone outspoken and opinionated, you've received criticism in autism circles. What do you say to your critics?

JO: I am 49 years old, and it took till I was 40 to not care what other people thought about me. I've been accused of not having autistic kids, of being a media whore, and I've been called horrible names on the Internet. But you're not walking in my shoes. I don't feel bad for my kids. They're not damaged, and they don't need to be cured. Here in Texas, we say we cure our meat and recover our furniture. We don't do it to our children. That said, anyone can comment on my blog. Usually they're a parent with an autistic child, and they have to [be] heard. I just do what works for us.

AOL Health: What is it like for 12-year-old Meaghan to live with five autistic siblings?

JO: For a while, she was a little bummed out that she didn't have autism because they were getting all the attention. But there is no "poor Meaghan." Meaghan is very nurturing and loving. She has slumber parties, and she plays the bassoon at school. She has a normal life and normal teenage angst.

AOL Health: Raising six children would be difficult for any mother, but when five are autistic, it's especially challenging. How do you cope?

JO: Caitlin gets community living assistance. That means she gets massage therapy once a week. Wouldn't we all like that? And a helper named Helen comes for 30 hours a week to help [Caitlin] rinse her hair and brush her teeth. [Helen] helps [Caitlin] in the kitchen, since Caitlin sometimes has to help me prepare dinner. Someone else paid by the county comes by for 48 hours a month -- usually from 3 p.m. to 5:30 pm on school days -- to give respite care to the others. That's great because I work out of my house. The rest is up to us. My husband drives Erin to choir practice; Meaghan to band; Erin to student council, where she's the treasurer, and Dierdre to church functions and to orchestra, where she plays the violin. Patrick goes to baseball. They all have friends who come over, except for Kiernan and Caitlin who don't care much about that. On any given day, I have 8 or 10 kids in my house, and I'm cooking for all of them!

... But you still haven't asked the question.

AOL: What is the question?

JO: People ask why I had six when I knew the first was autistic. First, the doctor told us there was no chance that a second kid would have it, so we didn't know. But I want the people who question them to meet them. And I want them to tell me which one shouldn't be here. Every one of my kids belongs. They are here for a reason. I don't know what it is, but there's a reason. Well, actually, I do know the reason.

AOL: What's the reason?

JO: So I could be their mama, that's why they're here! It's very selfish. No, the truth is: They're gonna teach the world a lot.

CAP AND GOWN...

2010-02-24T22:51:00.003-06:00

Yep...it is that time of year for ordering the cap and gown for the high school
student who is about to graduate.....
It is just setting in that I am the mother of a Senior in high school.
And, believe it or not..
Caitlin is so excited to walk with her graduating class.

Yes, I had to coax her into it...
"It is too noisy"...
"too many people"...

I said, "Caitlin, You have worked so hard for this and dang it,
I want you to do this"...
"Oh, okay..."...

17 years ago, we did not know what Caitlin was capable of.
She was non-verbal and very destructive and aggressive.
We had her in extensive therapies and made sure she was inclusioned
throughout her eductation. We had an amazing group of people, in the last 17 years
who made sure my daughter would not fail.
BUT...the most of the credit is put to Caitlin.
I know my critics state that she is not "that Autistic"...but, you would be so wrong.
This girl has to struggle with sounds and lights around her that drive her nuts.
She takes a situation and adapts....
She hums and stims...she jumps and paces...she adapts....
but..Don't we all?

You won't read this on Age Of Autism...

You won't see the determination of a severely autistic child who has maintained an
A-B average since elementary school. Who has had amazing behavior at school despite
the fact that she gets disturbed by behaviors around her. You won't read how she
graduated from a public high school with NT classmates.
You won't read how she is graduating by making grades....not just passing...but truly
graduating with her class.

You won't see this on AoA, because this is not a "pity party"....this is a CELEBRATION!!!!

Am I proud...
DAMN STRAIGHT!!!

So, today, with great pride (yes, I am tearing up as I write this)..
I got to order my daughters cap and gown for her GRADUATION !!!!

HIGH EXPECTATIONS...

2010-02-22T22:27:00.003-06:00

When I discovered I was pregnant in 1990, I was so happy. No, I was ecstatic.
I was almost 30 years old and so happy to be carrying a life inside of my body.
I went to every pre-natal visit. I quit smoking and drinking. I was so happy with
my body for the first time in my life.
I had no expectations of what was to be...in fact, I was quite ignorant to what life
disruptions a baby would bring...but, Man, I was so thrilled when Caitlin was born.

Caitlin was not your ordinary baby...she screamed 12 hours a day. When she slept,
I was exhausted and slept with her.
Did I resent this..??
Hell No...!!!
I was so thankful to have this amazingly beautiful daughter to call mine.

Caitlin was diagnosed with autism in 1993. We were contemplating having more
children. We got the go ahead that it is unlikely we would have any more children
with autism.

When I was pregnant with Deirdre, I knew the signs of autism and looked closely for
them. Deirdre came out calm and happy. Born in a birthing center with no interventions.
Calm and serene..just like her.

She spoke by 6 months..early, I thought.
Yet, I had no expectations of her. I just wanted the same as I wanted for Caitlin...
happy.!!
and..I was just happy to have her in my life.

Erin came out screaming....I knew in the first minute of her life she had autism....
also born in the birthing center...no interventions...yet....autism at birth.
Again....no expectations.

Meaghan was born 14 months later than Erin. She was birthed by the same midwife
as Deirdre and Erin. She was gorgeous. She was calm and happy.
She has remained that way.

Little Patrick and Kiernan were both born in a hospital. They were both complicated
births. I was 39 and 40 years old with their births. Little Patrick the screamer...Kiernan
calm and collected.

Funny how that turned out...Patrick calm now and Kiernan so full of energy.

I read other blogs where they talk about their children regressing. We have never seen
this "regression" in our home....don't know why...I could say what I think...but really,
what's the use ???

I read where a mother, who is pregnant with her second child, is upset because her
first born is becoming agressive and so much bother...
my question is...why is she having another child?
If she cannot handle being the mother to this first child, what makes her think she
is going to do so much better with the second?

My hope is the baby she is going to give birth to is perfect in her eyes....this little child
has a lot on their plate.

Another mother wrote that her child is "almost human" after biomedical interventions...
how sad this child was never looked at as "human" before, in their mother's eyes..

I will say this again and again...
I am so proud that God chose me to be the mother to my children.
I am so blessed that God chose Patrick to be my husband and the father to these children...
We adore them and we expect them to be exactly what they are supposed to be...

GLORIOUS!!!!

I thought about this post today, during my breaks....
I have decided to add something...

I do have expectations from my children:
I expect them to treat others kindly.
I expect them to behave when we are in public. I allow them to stim if it helps them
calm down (meaning...buzzing quietly or covering their ears and humming).
I expect them to behave in school.
I expect them to make the best grades they are possible of making.
I expect them to treat their friends like they want their friends to treat them....

I read stories about how sad and angry parents are that their children did not
turn out the way they expected. It makes me so very sad. My heart hurts for
these kids.
I want these children to know they are cared for. I pray for them every night.
I also pray for the parents and hope they find a place where they can stop looking
and feeling like their children are damaged or broken.
I don't expect that to happen, I only can hope and pray for that !!!

PARENTING....Is Not For The Faint Of Heart....

2010-02-03T06:36:00.005-06:00

When I became pregnant with Caitlin, over 19 years ago, I knew that I had
been given an amazing gift. At the age of 30, I was going to become a mother
and I knew my life would change forever....I had NO idea of the journey that
was about to happen in my life....
19 years and 5 more children later....my journey continues.

Caitlin will be 19 years old next week. So, for the last 19 years, I have parented
a child with Autism. Well, make that...I have parented 6 children...5 with autism.

Was it easy.???

NOPE...parenting is hard work.

This morning, as part of my morning ritual, I read AoA and JB Handley's blog on

how hard it is to be a biomedical parent.

This is part of what he wrote:

Soon after my son’s autism diagnosis, my wife and I were receiving advice from a DAN! Doctor helping our son. Transdermal glutathione and something very smelly called TTFD were prescribed, and we were told to rub each of these creams on his skin every night. “How long do we need to do this for?” I asked. “Six months, maybe a year,” came the doctor’s reply. “A year? Are you kidding?” I couldn’t believe it, what an inconvenience! Those of you who are biomed veterans are already smiling. Five years later, I see the world a little differently, and I have this to say to all parents battling autism: This job of recovery ain’t for the faint of heart.

Okay...first off...
six months to a maybe a year...

I think it has been way longer than that JB !!!!

And you still trust this DAmN! doctor...???

Cream on the skin...???

Whatever !!!

Parenting my children has not been easy, but man, I would not trade one minute.
I have children who have come from non-verbal to excelling in school and in life.
Our children have extracurricular activities that NT kids have.

Our youngest, who is still non-verbal...yet, very opinionated, is thriving in regular
education classes due to the fact that he has devoted teachers and therapists who
expect nothing but the best from him.

I do not know what the AoA crowd expected when they were preparing for the birth
of their children.

If they were expecting the homecoming queen or the football king. The next president
of the United States or the next Man in space...

But, what I see is that it is not about their child, but how they are perceived with their
child.

Recently, I read a post about a mother who was upset that her children were not going
to be the most popular children in school. They would not know the upset of breaking up
with a boyfriend...would not know the fashion senses that they are supposed to know...

I think about Meaghan, who just turned 12....the angst of boys, makeup, clothes and grades.

The fact that she is aware of all of this...
It takes me back to my childhood and all the 12 year old angst I felt...
It has not changed in 37 years...still the same snarkiness.
Yet, Meaghan has an advantage over these kids....she is amongst a family who accepts
and loves people for the way they are..
She is nurturing and loving...she cares for her fellow classmates, even when they are hateful
and rude.
I am so gratefully proud of her...
and all my kids...

Parenting these children has not been a hardship,
it has been a blessing...
and I continue to thank God every day for allowing me to
be a part of their lives...Autism and all...

So, JB....
It is not about how much cream we smear on our kids,
or how we alter their diets,
or how we take them to a doctor who will tell us in 6 months to a year
that our children will be "normal" that
makes us a great parent...

It is about walking the floor with them at night when they cannot sleep...
it is about making sure their homework is done...
it is about making sure they mind their manners and face adversities
when others do not want them to...
It is about taking them to their band and choir rehearsals , speech therapy, occupations therapy, baseball practices...
it is about making sure they know no matter what...they are why we were
put here on Earth
It is about waking up every morning and thanking God for putting
these amazing kids into our lives !!!

Yeah...I tell it like it is too.....!!!

Stay Tuned....

2010-02-02T22:32:00.003-06:00

Today, I received no less than 10 emails informing me about the Lancet retraction....frankly, I could care less !!!
I went and looked on AoA and noticed that they have rebutted over and over again...kind of funny how they are protesting a bit too much !!!

Then, I went on a few other "predictable" web sites and read "predictable" comments on how if it was not for this amazing doctor..their children would be in "AUTISM HELL"..

I am the mother of 6 children...5 with some form of Autism. I think we know a thing or two about autism.
Contrary to popular belief...they are all AUTISTIC.....!!!

Without the aide of biomedical treatment..which includes B12 shots, IVIG infusion, chelation, scoping, spinal taps, lotions, suppositories and creams...our children have improved. As a matter of fact..they are excelling.

Being from the great state of Texas:
where we "cure" our meat and "recover" our furniture....I find those words offensive.

My children have all improved since their individual diagnoses...mainly, because, we never thought they wouldn't. We never made them feel they could not achieve any goal they wanted to meet. They are amazing.

Now.. I know this is hard to believe, but I have never posed for Playboy, and Oprah does not grovel over me (though she probably should ;) ), but I think I have a thing or two to offer to parents who are raising autistic children. I don't have all of the answers, but after 19 years, I have learned a lot from my children.

I have an interview with a pretty big news entity this week...will I speak my mind??...What do you think????

Stay tuned.....

GRADUATION CLASS OF 2010...

2010-01-25T22:39:00.004-06:00

Today, on my kitchen island, I found a packet Caitlin had put there. It was a packet showing different packages for graduation.

Man...it dawned on me....my daughter was going to graduate high school this June.

Not get a completion....a true, blue, graduation !!!!

I always knew she would...even with the diagnosis of Autism!!

We always expected this of her.

I understand that there are people who question her autism...but, they have never met Caitlin. They saw a very edited version of Caitlin.

I asked Caitlin if she was excited to go through Graduation.

She said, "I can't....way too many people at the Irwin Center.."

I told her....

"Oh, you will walk through the line...all you have to do is get your diploma and then

you can leave"....(I have dreamt of this moment...too bad)!!!

Caitlin said, "Oh, Alright...just a few seconds and it will be done"!!!

This young woman has studied and worked just as hard as any other graduate that will be walking down that aisle...this girl deserves to walk with them....

On Feb. 8, 2010...my daughter will be 19 years old....

In these 19 years, Caitlin has achieved so much. She has shown her teachers and classmates that no matter what your diagnosis, you are able to achieve whatever you want in life.

She has shown people that you can do the impossible, when people expected much less of you.

Through all of the articles posted on various websites that predict gloom and doom from our children....

I present Caitlin...

graduating class of 2010...

100 PERCENT PERFECTION.....

2010-01-20T06:09:00.012-06:00

At the end of this week, we are having our annual ARD (Admissions, Review and Dismissal) meeting for our 10-year-old son Patrick. He is being withdrawn from Special Education
Services that he has been in since he was 3-years old. HE NO LONGER QUALIFIES FOR SERVICES. Does that mean he is cured? I don't think so.
Of course, you won't see this story in Age of Autism. Why? you ask....!!!!
Because, we did not ever put Patrick, or any of our children in a position to be seen in any way that would diminish who they are.
You see, we have never put a number on our children to as how much a percentage they are not "typical". We do not justify their being as a percentage.
You see, Patrick is 100% who he is supposed to be....he is 100% Patrick.

Kiernan, who is severely autistic, will be 9 years old in March. He has not progressed quite as rapidly as Patrick. Yet, is he less of a percentage than Patrick....???
Kiernan is much loved amongst his NT peers. Fully inclusioned and making all A's on his report card. Still non-verbal in a verbal world...but man, he holds his own!!!
He holds court in class and the kids and teacher's love him.
Nope, he is 100% Kiernan. Kiernan is 100% of who he is supposed to be....

Caitlin will graduate with her class this June. She has earned enough credits and with really hard work, has maintained a A-B average. She is well-loved and respected at her very large, PUBLIC high school. She did not have to hide behind a school that only deals with autism. She braved the "neurotypical" world and is winning.
Will this be a feature article in AoA?....Doubtful!!!
Is Caitlin still Autistic...you bet!!!
She is 100% Caitlin and 100% who she is supposed to be.

Deirdre is maintaining her A average in 10th grade. Continuing to prosper amongst her peers. She struggles to understand why the teenagers around her are so uncouth and so immature. Deirdre is loved and accepted by our church. So much so, that when she travels with them, they know she does not like to sleep with other people in her bed, so they accomadate her bedding. They know her food quirks, and plan meal times around foods she will also enjoy.
Will you read about this in AoA....heck no...!!!
Deirdre is 100% Deirdre and 100% of who she is supposed to be!

Erin, who outshines and hovers over her classmates not only in height (13 years old and 5 ft. 10 inches), but in her ability to maintain an A-average since elementary school. Erin, who has very little patience for people who don't know as much as she does (including her dear Mother), but is willing to teach you what you do not know.
Erin, who has come so far since she was a poop-smearing, screaming little toddler...Erin, who the educators thought would be our most challenging child....Erin, who is now fully-inclusioned among her Neurotypical peers and soaring far past their mundaneness.
Erin, who is not worried one little bit about what fashions are out there, how to put on makeup correctly or who is going to ask her out. She has her friends and they adore her.
Where is her feature story on A0A...???
Erin is 100 % who she is supposed to be and she will remind you of that, lest you forget !!!

And Meaghan...who turned 12-years old last week. Who has all of the angst a 12-year old girl should have. It is hard to worry about the latest styles of clothes, the correct way to apply blush and what boy is the cutest !!!
Meaghan, who has more drama in her life than most soap-operas on television.
This we witnessed last weekend, when Meaghan had her 5 closest friends over for a slumber party.....12-year-old drama is quite frightening if you are not accustomed to it.
But, after a successful make-up session and face-art done by the talented Helen Hutka...all the girls united and had a lovely time.
Meaghan is a hard-working, loving child. She has a heart of gold and cares deeply for her siblings. She is adored by them all and it shows when she walks in the room.
Meaghan is 100% Meaghan...she is 100% who she is supposed to be.

Does this mean we do not think our children can accomplish more....HECK NO!!!
Our childrens futures are limitless.
Because we say they are 100% does not mean they will not improve more or shine any less.
This means that we do not look upon these wonderful people as less than they are. They are not a number to us. They are our children.
Patrick and myself do not feel the necessity to gauge their progress, just because they have Autism. We pride ourselves in their accomplishments and bask in their glory. They were meant to be here, and they were meant to be our children.

They are 100% perfection....

AGES OF AUTISM...

2009-12-15T21:50:00.003-06:00

Yep...I went there...but, these are the ages of Autism in our home!!!

Caitlin, 18 (almost 19).
Deidre, 15.
Erin, 13.
Patrick, 10 this month.
Kiernan, 8.

Yep...we have many ages of autism.

We have lived through the hypes and the myths of what autism is and isn't.

The past month on the blog site AoA...their words, not mine...parent's have been
blogging about the horror of autism. About how their children have regressed and became
violent over the years...all in the name of autism.
A poem was written by a sibling of an autistic child. I write poetry, so I would never
take away from that, but....my question is why does this college aged student have
so much anger towards their sibling (I know the answer, but do you?) ?

Not one of our children have regressed in the last almost 19 years...not one.
They have done nothing but progress...
why is that?

Could it be that we never expected anything more from them than what they are
capable of doing (and that is so very much)?
Could it be that we did not have the anger towards their autism (that has to be tough
on a child and a marriage)?
Could it be that we expect no less from our children with autism than we expect from
our child without autism (Meaghan, 12 in January...and a very typical pre-teen with
amazing friends)?

Speaking of Meaghan...she has a very close group of friends who spend much time
in our home. The parent's never question their children being here..they adore our
kids...but, who wouldn't.??

I wonder why the kids whose parents hate autism so very much have such great
difficulty with their children...maybe it isn't the child or the autism they are having
difficulty with..
maybe it is the fact that they did not get the child they thought THEY deserved.
Maybe it is the ideal of a perfect child that has enabled them to be so angry with
autism.

I have recently gone back to work full time...I am thankful that at the tender age of
49 someone thought enough of me and my talent to hire me. I am doing well and hope
to continue to progress.
I don't have much time for the drama of autism.
I thank God for that.

My husband and myself are the parents of 6 children...5 of them have autism....all of them
are PERFECT....

I will repeat myself...

I thank God every day that I was blessed with my children. I have become a much
calmer and patient person because of these children.
When I was 22, I started working for a residential treatment center...I worked on a dorm
with Autistic teens (whoa, they would be in their late 30's now AoA)..my wonderful Aunt
Gwen asked me, "Why does such a young girl like you want to work in this atmosphere"?
After my children were born, Gwen called me....she remembered that conversation...
she said,"I know now that God put you there..he had a plan for you"...

I think my Aunt Gwen was correct....

SHE WORKS HARD FOR THE MONEY....

2009-10-24T11:05:00.006-05:00

After much thought and discussions with the people who matter most to me in this world, I have decided to rejoin the work force. With our children doing so well in life, after much hard work from many people, I decided to go back to work at a job that I enjoyed so much, many years ago.
I was hired the day of my interview...much to my surprise...and welcomed back with open arms.
I finished training on Friday, and will go full force into my career on Monday.
Yep, at the ripe old age of almost 49 (in November), I will begin a career....who knew?
The kids have done remarkably well with the transformations going on around here....not just my transformation, but the fact they have to rely on someone else to have their needs met until my work day is over.
I do get to work from home, but I am not able to tend to the needs of my children....
We have been blessed with an amazing young woman who is their care-giver until I am off the clock. She has stepped up to the plate and left me with no worries. I thank her very much for that.

With my new career, I have very little time to keep up with the world of "autism". That is probably a good thing. This week, while catching up on the various "I HATE AUTISM" websites..you know who they are....I came across some very disturbing things.

I read a piece by a woman who feels her child has ruined her life. This "mother", and I use that term very loosely, blames all of her family woes on her child with autism. Because of her child, the other children suffer (her husband and her have to devote all of their time to this one child), her house suffers, her income suffers....what a shame!!!
The most shameful part of this story is that this young man, who has much more worth than his parent's give him credit for, is suffering...not physical pain inflicted by these parents, but the emotional pain of having to carry such a burden of being made a martyr.

I then go on to read, on a forum, a story about a little boy, Kyle Forbes, who saved his teacher's life with the Heimlich maneuver... http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2009/10/15/quinn.scout.saves.choking.KTRK
Instead of praising Kyle and his family, for raising such an amazing and caring young man, the family has to read an entry on this forum that read:

I just posted on this on the other forum...would you guys call that boy autistic?!! In my book, he might be a bit odd or immature, but NOT autistic! How could he possibly meet the criteria? If that's what people are claiming as autism, then I question the "1 in 60" numbers I'm hearing. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone who has a child who is a bit slow or doesn't excel is calling it autism.

I'm sorry--that just kind of made me mad. No wonder everyone in my family thinks this is a fake diagnosis, and there's "really no such thing as autism."

Shame on this "mother", who should be so proud of the autism community being portrayed on the media in such a positive way. This "mother" who should be commending the parent's of Kyle for teaching him to be compassionate and caring....

Mr. Forbes went on to comment:

Well, this is Kyle's father, and yes, he is on the high end of autism-Aspberger's. Is there any way to present this story to the world without "offending" someone? No. Is his condition a form of autism? Yes. Are you calling me a liar? Can you control the media? Are you saying that a good story about a great kid should have been done differently? If you can't see the positive in the occurrence, then you must be full of negatives yourself. My son has been struggling with his persona, and I for one am proud of what a good young man he is. He did not speak until 4 years of age, and still "stems" and has social/personal difficulties, but there's no reason to downplay any of his being.
Also-how can you judge someone over an interview, through the media? By the way, watch the video again: the kid standing next to him in the orange UT shirt is his friend Adam, who is severely autistic. Could you tell through the TV????

Mr. Forbes,
My children's autism was also questioned when they were shown on television. They were not "autistic" enough.
I blogged about this previously....http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/2007/06/expert.html

I was taken back a bit by the statements people made about my children after our show was aired. Statements made by people who have autistic children, not Neuro-typical children.
Hateful comments on my children's clothes, hair, behaviors, and their size.
Instead of looking at how far these children have come, to be able to handle moving out of their old home, being sent on a wonderful vacation, and coming back to an all new environment...all with minimal meltdowns....these "autism" parent's decided to write letters and emails to the media to try to discredit my family.
Funny thing, this was all done because they saw 45 very edited minutes of our life.

My children continue to thrive....
All made A's and B's on their report cards....including Kiernan (who is inclusioned in 3rd grade). With the encouragement and determination of some amazing teacher's...here is his first real report card:
Reading-A
Writing-A-
Mathematics-A
Science/Health-A-
Social Studies-A-
Art-A+
Physical Education-A-.

All of these grades are not altered or modified....all his.
All done while being severely autistic and non-verbal. All while stimming and rocking behaviors ensue....

So, because of my children's amazing progress...and with their blessings,
I have returned to work. With the support of my husband, who continues to work 2 jobs,
we are making this transition.
I am so proud of my kids....for all of their achievements....and the many more achievements to come....

THE HYPOCRISY OF THE AUTISM COMMUNITY...

2009-09-24T22:46:00.004-05:00

This week, according to the news, John Travolta admitted his son had autism...
big frickin' deal...we all knew it. We saw the pictures of Jett walking on his tippy-toes,
flapping his hands and being held by his hands while he walked. We, in the autism community,
knew they were raising a child with autism.
Now, the autism community is pissed off because John and Kelly Travolta did not
admit this while their son was alive.
What good would that have done?
Because John and Kelly did not choose to exploit their child as other celebrities
with Autistic children have (um-hm....Jenny Mac), they were wrong?
I have no doubt in my mind that they did not do the best things for their beloved
son. I have no doubt that John and Kelly Travolta worshiped their son....autism or not.

We do not all find it necessary to throw a great big pity party because our child(ren)
have autism.
As a matter of fact...some of us still believe our children can reach their potentials even
though they have a diagnosis of autism.

I feel so completely sad for the child who is subjected to procedure after procedure
to prove they can be cured of their autism. I feel great empathy for the child who
is told they are broken or need to be cured. I really find great sadness in the latest video
that Autism Speaks has put out....
Let me clue you in on something....if you think your marriage was ruined because you
have an autistic child...you probably had a really bad marriage to begin with....to blame your child for it is pathetic.

The world of autism right now, in 2009, is full of doctors who are milking you for your money,
organizations who are playing on your sympathy for money, and very angry parents who
are trying so hard to blame someone for their children's autism.

During this time, when parents need to stand together, the propagandist in the autism world are working harder than ever to make the world think that autism is supposed to be one
huge pity party.
Wander over to the Autism Speaks forum...the same mothers and fathers who have been
chelating and bitching for years are still there...mad as ever. They still tell you that they are
right and we are wrong. Funny thing...our kids are improving (oh, that's right....our kids never
had autism...) and they are still bickering amongst themselves.

Thank goodness there is a brave group of parents stepping forward and making themselves heard...we can be just as loud and just as obnoxious. Difference is, we will not call you names because you do not agree with us. We will not sell you anything or try to coax you into our way of thinking. We will stand next to you when you need help and we will support you.

Take a moment...
Look at your amazingly beautiful children....
Feel blessed that they have been given to you to raise...
Tell them you love them for who they are....

PUUURRRR-FECT

2009-09-07T22:26:00.003-05:00

Yes, even I get the occasional virus...it happens.
Last Wednesday, I started to feel badly. By Friday...YIKES !!!
Full-blown virus. Sore throat, achy body, tiredness....
And NO !!! It is not the Swine Flu ....

So, here is my story...
I was laying on the couch, only to get up to fix the
occasional meal, or take out the occasional laundry and
fold it...other than that, I did not do much "labor" this
Labor Day weekend.
As I was lying on my couch, which is so comfortable that you can
crash there without wanting to, I had an occasional visitor.
It was Kiernan...my 8 year old, non-verbal son....
He crawled up on me...said, "Ma"...gave me a huge kiss and hug
and then, without prompting...purred...
Yep, purred like a little kitten.
Kiernan has purred since birth.
In fact, he reminds me of my cat Junior, my Siamese cat that I had
in my life for over 25 years.
Since Kiernan was a baby, if you rubbed his head, the boy will give you
a full-fledged purr.....it is soothing and gentle.
So, in my sickest state this weekend...I was soothed...
not by the words of the most amazing young man in the world,
but by the purring of a gentle soul who knew his "ma" needed a bit
of purring just to feel a little bit better.
Thanks Kiki.....

EXPECTATIONS OF MOTHERHHOOD...

2009-08-09T22:41:00.004-05:00

I remember back when I was 29 years old..yep, 20 years ago this year.
I told my boss where I worked, at the Sheraton Centre Hotel in Midtown Manhattan,
that I was going to have a baby.
Patrick and I bought as many baby books as we could find at the local book stores.
We read the month-by-month accounts of what should happen during my pregnancy.
Sometimes they were right on target....most times not.
I had a fairly easy pregnancy.
We did the obligatory lamaze class with a very spectacular Jamaican woman in the
East Village...that was fun !!!
Caitlin came fast and furious..so fast that the cab driver did not want any money from
us after we went through every red light from 52nd street and 7th to 16th ave and 1st.
Beth Israel was very slow that night. They thought I was exaggerating when I told them
that I felt the head...by the way..they were wrong !!!
Caitlin came out 8 pounds 11 ounces. She was gorgeous. Wide eyed and gorgeous.

Everything I had read about what to expect from the pregnancy and birth went flying
out the window. This was my child and she was perfect.
Even through the next few months of screaming, lack of sleep and also being a new wife...
she was perfection to me.

As she approached the age of 1 years old, we moved down to Texas. Caitlin, still gorgeous
and wonderful, was not doing what other 1 year old children do. We questioned the doctors,
but they told us we were worrisome parent's.
Caitlin continued to not talk and seemed to be in her own world. Now...if you know me...
I believe in individualism...but, I am a ham. I love singing and dancing...especially Broadway
musicals. I made Caitlin dance and sing with me. People were amazed that she was so
lovey-dovey (poor kid did not have a choice).

I had an in-home day care and saw the other children and their growth. I knew that Caitlin
was not like them...but frankly, I liked her better. She did not have the typical terrible twos...and I thank her for that.

In fact, none of my children had them. What the heck is the terrible 2's anyway?
I have recently read where parent's are upset because their children missed being 2 years
old because of Autism....
Where were they?
Did they not turn 2?
Were you so depressed in the Autism you missed it?
Now, that is very sad to me !!!

I never expected any of our 6 children to be any ways near like each other.
I never compared their milestones to be like each other. They are each individuals
that will progress at their own paces. They each achieved in different areas at different
times. No one is better than the other. They are who they are.
I have no expectations of who they are going to be....they are mine....
That is enough !!!

FACE TO FACEBOOK...

2009-08-06T22:31:00.003-05:00

I recently "friended" a person on Facebook, who by her Facebook name was a
commenter on the Autism Speaks forum. This mother of a child with Autism
tends to be more towards the Neurodiverse side than the BM side of treating
their child with Autism.
She puts up with criticism well, and stands her ground without being hateful, so I
accepted her "friend" request.
Well. lo and behold, it was brought to my attention today that some scum bag of
a parent on the Autism Speaks forum has used this name to gain information from
some of my true Facebook Friends.
First and foremost...how really stupid is this person. It is so very easy to find
out your true identity. Do you think that the true person cannot sue you for
using their name? Do you think we cannot join in on that fun for using our information
to play your really silly little game?
I hope you lose a lot of sleep over this. You were really, truly playing with the wrong
set of people.
If you have children with Autism...which, by the way, I think you do (and more than one..
wink, wink), I hope you start refocusing your attention away from stalking and prying
into people's lives and start dealing with your own life. By what I know...it sucks!!!!

To the innocent person who was affected by this...I am so sorry you were brought into
this..you were put into a situation that was not warranted by any of your actions...
Let me know what you need from my end...I will help you !!!!

WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.....

2009-08-04T19:45:00.002-05:00

In my house..it is not about pulling metals, fixing GF/CF food, crushing supplements or bashing my husband. In my house, it is about raising children to be loving and caring.

I asked our daughter Deirdre, who has Asperger's, to please take up Caitlin's dinner. She likes to eat in her room...so, I let her. I said to Deirdre, "when you give her her food, tell her you love her (because that is what I do)..."
Of course, Deirdre says "NO".
I said, "C'Mon"...Deirdre agreed...reluctantly...

Deirdre came downstairs with a huge grin on her face...

I asked her if she said I love You....Deirdre said, "I said Love Ya"...

I asked Deirdre what Caitlin said....
Deirdre said, "She said "I love you" back"...

I asked Deirdre if that made her happy....
Deirdre, in all of her wisdom said, "That is why I am smiling"....

Of course..I start crying !!!!

I have had a crappy day...fought with the bank, fought with cable, had to get Kiernan's
Vanguard system back on track, needed to go to the post office (couldn't), fighting a really
shitty sore mouth, having my provider not show up, but...in the end...
this is what my life is all about....
About being able to raise Autistic children to be loving and caring...

God has given me quite a lot. Sometimes I wonder why he chose me...
This last week, reading the whiny crap on other blogs and on AoA, I now
know why....
I hope you can figure out why soon !!!

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH....

2009-08-02T09:50:00.015-05:00

While catching up on reading various blogs on Autism this morning,
I came across a blog written by a mom who approaches autism from a
biomedical point of view. She was complaining about her life in biomedical
by how hard it is for her to mix the biomedical concoction I am almost sure
her child "loves" to take, her lack of finances, her poor marriage, etc.
I continued reading, because the blog was titled "United We Stand, Divided
We Fall" over at the Age Of Autism site.
When you follow the link over to the blogsite the article came from,
the title is :

Don't Fuck With Me Fellas, This Ain't My First Time at the Rodeo

BIG CONTRAST there, huh?

So, we mother's who are fed up with the whining and hatred over at the biomedical sites
are supposed to be united with these bio-med moms...especially after lovely comments
such as "foaming at the mouth", "neglecting our children", "sitting back and doing
nothing".

Instead of being so mad at the Neurodiverse crowd, you parent's of biomedical
interventions should be mad at the doctors and "experts" that have made you
so very mad in the first place.
Promises of cures and recovery, that many of you have stated have not occurred, even
after giving thousands and thousands of dollars to these people.
After reading where one mother gave 18 IVIG infusions to one child, only to have
the child regress back into her former autistic self...shame on that doctor for continuing
the treatments...more shame to the mom who allowed it.
After reading about a mom who is pissed that Hbot did not cure her son, even after
trying every treatment imaginable (including a nicotine patch put on his butt)....and she is so disappointed in a child who she "wished had recovered by kindergarten"....he is now
8 years old. How very sad that this little boy is such a disappointment to his mother.
You should be mad at the doctors who sell you these "protocols" that are not covered
by insurance....and do you know why?
Insurance is not used on unproven, unsafe methods of treatment. I thank God there
is someone who draws the line at what will be covered and what will not be covered by
insurance. That would be my wakeup call as not what to do to my innocent child by
a person who claims to want to help them, yet will not take my insurance....duh !!!!

Lately, the biomedical community have been playing the pity card. Poor, poor me...
my child is not recovered...my child is making me so unhappy because I am broke,
divorced, have no friends, depressed, and just plain pissed off !!!

Most of the parents I have met, who practice the "ND" approach...which, by the way,
is still very hard... is a hard-working, happy, well-rounded, accepting person. They are not foaming at the mouth. They are not screaming or ranting at those who do not agree with them. We have not given up on our children. We love them. We educate
them. We make sure they go to their therapies. We make sure they are at their
prospective extracurricular activities (ie, baseball, ballet, etc). We make sure we
teach them how to behave and what is acceptable behaviors (oh, btw, that is called
"Parenting")....
We take our children to the doctors when they require medical attention, we
schedule dental appointments, neurologist appointments and appointments with
therapist...and with more than one child on the spectrum, this is sometimes quite
fun.
We prepare meals for our children to eat....just because they are not GF/CF meals,
does not mean we do not love our children any less than you guys who promote
this diet.

We had a difficult day with Kiernan yesterday. He was in OCD mode...obsessing
on everything. Today, with a much calmer Kiernan (without medication, mind you),
I thank God for the patience he has given me. I also thank him for giving me a husband
who knows when I have had enough. I thank him for all of my children, who make
me who I am...
I love being a mother...it is why I am here.

It is now 4:30 pm. In between writing this blog, cooking breakfast and lunch and
now making dinner, I have put a great deal into writing this blog.
I do not dislike any parent...whether they believe that biomedical interventions are
helping their children or not.
I dislike the fact that these parents find it okay to name-call and demean us on
comment boards such as Age Of Autism:
just a couple of examples from today are...

Next time a biomed parent sings that they do not name-call or bring down
parent's who do not practice the methods they do, cite some of these comments:

You don’t hear biomed parents out there chastising others for not doing biomed. You do hear biomed parents telling about their experiences and recommending resources, but not calling someone derogatory names for not doing biomed.
Differences do not need to be divisive. We are all struggling along as best we can. In my experience, biomed parents are pioneers who are devoted to their children, not deluded, desperate, etc. Biomed parents should be listened to as useful resources, not maligned.

Posted by: Twyla | August 02, 2009 at 03:07 PM

From Mlinn:

Having been at this twelve years now, I'd have to agree the divisiveness within the autism community has been one of the most frustrating aspects. For the life of me I will never understand how anyone, let alone a parent, can embrace this disease as some sort of a twisted blessing and do next to nothing in response. I've seen people buy expensive houses and cars and claim alternately that they can't afford biomed/behavioral treatment and that their child doesn't really need it. I've also seen single moms on welfare and couples teetering on the edge of bankruptcy be ferocious advocates and figure out a way to get services and treatment for their kids. I believe it all comes down to selflessness and individual character. So at the end of the day, after the anger and sometimes jealousy toward the "ingnorance is bliss" crowd, what I mostly feel is pity.

Posted by: mlinn | August 02, 2009 at 12:45 PM

Crystal, great article. And you're right-I don't think too many biomed moms go screaming around pontificating about how great they are because they're curing their kids autism, while dissing the moms who choose not to do it or can't because of the money challenges. My heart goes out to you all!!!!!

Posted by: jennifer | August 02, 2009 at 12:22 PM

Anna send me an email, there may be some hope, stay strong, I bet there are at least 50 people reading this that may be able to relate to your situation. It's a struggle for us all. We all would welcome sharing with you some of our resources, what little there are.

My email is bensmyson (at) gmail.com

Posted by: bensmyson | August 02, 2009 at 12:07 PM

Crystal, your article hit hard on me. I have not accepted autism, even though my son is 28 years old, and daughter 21. I have not accepted it by telling others that what happened to them, was ioatragenic. I have not accepted it by going into grave debt to cure them (with some major improvements her or there on biomed), and
I have not accepted it by not vaccinating (at least the moms by real free choice)the next generation, my grandboys. I have not accepted autism, because I know it was initiated, linked, worsened by mankind. I don't accept genetics as the main problem, but I do accept predispositions. I don't accept that genetics can account for this epidemic, and I don't accept that we can sit back on our laurels and see this holocaust continue. HOWEVER, I do accept and love them, but not as is. I expect better things in the future, even at this late date. My hope is never dimmed. My love for them, enormous. If my hope goes, so does my hope for living. Iaccept, that the world wil not accept the inevitable cause of autism. I accept that the powers that be will deny this for generations, as they did with other human experiments on the masses. I accept that genetic research does not account for the environmental triggers that caused this epidemic. I accept that the least likely funded studies are those that implicate products and procedures that cause autism.

One person said, doesn't it exhaust you to be so involved in the cure, when you can just accept things as are? I told her, it exhausts me more,that people don't accept there are children being cured everday, even though it's not my children. When we finally broke down in the genetic angles, we found that they lie close to autoimmune genes. Surely, the IDSA, AAP can accept, that the immune system responds to the enviornment and their triggers?

If anyone thinks I feel less of my children, they have another thing coming. I feel more love for them then anyone will ever know. I would take a bullet for them. I would give my right arm for a cure, a magic pill, a procdure that worked. Every improvement is a miracle. The ultimate healing person is God himself, and either in this world or the next, their day will come.

Posted by: Kathy Blanco | August 02, 2009 at 11:44 AM

It's tough to embrace something that threatens a cultural environment that has existed for many generations in families where kids typically grow up, enter school, have friends, get a job, get married and raise a family. I've been told that, "Ben doesn't seem that bad, you're lucky" and I felt like saying, "Hey, if a boat leaks, no matter how big or small the leak, the boat will still sink dumbass." There is no such thing as "not that bad" when it comes to atusim. And people seem to think autism is not a deadly illness because they don't see what the parents see and hear and read. I've actually had a couple of people say that "at least autism isn't fatal." OK great, Ben won't lay in a bed at hospice and succumb to autism, super. How do they know that to be true though? Who told them that? Anyone study that?

Do they know for a fact that a 12 year old autistic boy will not drown in a pond or river because he impulsively reached out to touch a leaf floating by
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20090711/NEWS01/707119928/0/SPORTS or that he
won't get killed by police for failing to cooperate
http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2006/nov/19/news/chi-0611190063nov19 ?

Autism is indeed killing people, a woman holding her autistic child jumps off of a bridge in the UK
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1340989/Mother-jumps-to-death-holding-her\
-autistic-son.html , another woman tried to talk her 16 year old into stepping off of a bridge then strangled her daughter when she refused to jump http://spidernet.nl/~martijn_dekker/internaut/news/9807/30.casey.spml, a mother,
a well educated doctor, smothers her autistic daughter
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_McCarron, a grandmother kills her autistic grandson and herself because it was too much to handle
http://www.dailypress.com/news/wtkr-chesapeake-murder-suicide,0,7632434.story. An autistic nine year old recently drown in a fountain at a park, the water was 3 inches deep. Yeah autism isn't deadly, not at all huh?

These stories are extremely real, and the number of stories of autistic children suffering and dying is horrendous, usually it's the caretaker that's overwhelmed reaches a breaking point and snaps. Was the caretaker married? Have any help? Support? Was she seeing any improvements, any hope? Who was counseling her? What advice was she given? We've all seen one variation or another in the news about a discovery of a child being kept in a closet, malnourished and "retarded" while other children in the house are well fed and seem to be unharmed.
http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article750838.ece

The other part of this of course is the staggering numbers of children that stop looking their parents in the eyes, spin like a top, flapping their arms, throwing a violent fit in the middle of a grocery store over the change in packaging of a stupid cereal box. This is my 9/11 and my enemy is autism. It took Ben from us, and replaced him with a different child, one that looks exactly like Ben. He was taken from us by a vaccine that we were told would not cause autism, DOES NOT cause autism, will NEVER cause autism. We were given a video of Dr. Offitt from the doctors office as a way to "inform" us parents as to the safety of vaccines. Yet a doctor the other week, one that serves on the Board of the American Association of Pediatrics, an organization notorious for denying the vaccine/autism link, looked me in the eye, and said, "I cannot rule out a vaccine as being the cause Ben's autism. "

I have little tolerance for those that "encourage" us to embrace autism. Yes, my son is the joy of my life. We are extremely fortunate that he has recovered so much in such a short time, but we work at it, constantly. I want to do everything I can to rescue him, by any means, at any cost.

I read a story the other night that brought me to my knees, a woman wakes on her downstairs couch at 4AM to the screams of her 4 year old daughter at the top of the stairs, she looked and their were flames on the ceiling on the second floor. The house was filled with smoke. The mother ATTEMPTED to climb the stairs but was turned back because of the "heat", made it as close as 10 feet to her daughter. The fire seemed to be coming from her 13 month-old son's bedroom, he was also screaming. The mother turned away from them, dialed 911, went outside to pray waiting for help.

The little girl survived, the boy didn't. It was all over in about ten minutes.

I read the story to my wife and asked, "Would you even have to think about climbing those stairs?"

What we do is instinctive, to us there is no choice, we don't even think of other options, we must brave the heat, climb those stairs, blindly risk everything to save our kids.

Do I want to kick someone for waiting at the bottom of the stairs, waiting on God, "accepting" fate without a challenge? You're damn right I do, and the next one that attempts to counsel me to wait at the bottom of the stairs, to accept it, will get the living shit kicked out of them. I have absolutely NO respect for them. Their rationalization of their passive stance, their denial, their fear, does not belong ANYWHERE near my situation and those of the rest of us who are having our clothes burned off of our backs as we work our way thru fire to find our children.

F'em! AND the horses they rode in on! Either you're for us or you're against us, there is no middle ground with me. I'm too damn tired, too burned, too pissed right now to hold hands with a bunch of pussies.

And here comes the H1N1 vaccines.

Posted by: bensmyson | August 02, 2009 at 10:42 AM

Strong writing, Crystal. I think your premise that "ND moms" are in it for their children is about 80% flawed. They seem to fit in with the 20% of our population that is impervious to any data that runs counter to their ideology, which they adopt as a faith in place of knowledge. You could no more "debate" with one of them as you could with "birthers."

ND is ultimately about them, not their children.

Posted by: David Taylor | August 02, 2009 at 10:34 AM

Crystal said...

OMG...I've got an article coming out on Sunday in AoA. I bet they trash me, too. :) Bring it on!!! :)

Thu Jul 30, 06:09:00 PM EDT

FOUND THIS TODAY ON JOHN BEST'S BLOG

Nice Crystal...nothing confrontational about this, is there???

Bringing it on...as requested !!!!

I just found a new comment:

Bensmyson, great points. If it weren't for biomed, my son may well have been dead by now: run over by traffic, drowned in a body of water, or maybe lost in the woods somewhere.

Posted by: Elizabeth | August 02, 2009 at 04:42 PM

REALLY NICE !!!

Latest from Crystal's comments on her blog:

Anonymous said...: I love your blog. I also do biomed with my child and see such improvements daily. Beware of this bitch who just loves to rip people to shreds for helping their children. She claims to have five autistic kids of her own and has a real mean streak to her. She also claims to embrace autism yet I find her bitterness tells a different story. Keep up the great blog.

http://survivingmotherhood-mom26children.blogspot.com/; August 2, 2009 5:36 PM

I am the bitch in question...notice...he or she is a chicken Anonymous...
and what's with the "beware of"..like I have power ???

Does the "Claim to" sound familiar...???

Man...this is pissing me off...
this was commented today on Autism Bitch's site...

Foresam said...: Crystal,
Do you think Mom 26 bashes responsible parents because Pharma arranged the free house she got on that TV show?

This is what I followed up with, while waiting for approval..
yeah, like that will happen:
Crystal,
I see the game you are playing....you just want to make it seem like you are the "good guy"...well,
you have some pretty crappy players on your side.
I wish you well, but I really hope your child can make you happy...
I doubt it though..
You seem to be happy wallowing in your unhappy marriage and blaming autism for it...
When you let John Best post and did not allow my very "tame" post to rebuttle being called a bitch..you defined your agenda.
If you want respect from people, you have to respect them...
The Pharma comment is not worth commenting on, but I did rebuttle on my site...
Where I will post this also...
I hope you get over yourself quickly...
Your child needs you!!!

New post today:

Anonymous said...: Mom26children and others, like that repulsive Wombles woman, wonder why biomed mom's attack them. Um, let's just look at the title of Mom26's blog. WHAT ARE THEY THINKING? Clearly meaning that what everyone else thinks is wrong and she is right. She continually boasts about herself and conveys in almost every post she writes how right she is and how she has been at this for 18 years and how she has all the answers and how the biomed moms and dads are wrong and that they can't accept their kids and these poor children have mothers and fathers who are just miserable and how horrible they must make their kids feel and blah, blah, blah. Jeanette is a twisted, self centered woman who can't get off her own pedestal and Wombles does nothing but kiss her ass and act as her puppet. Mom26children needs to get over herself. Her know it all attitude is nothing but a result of misery with her life. If she and Wombles were that secure in their beliefs they would not feel the need to create blogs bashing other parents for helping their kids.; August 4, 2009 2:10 PM

The agenda over at Autism's Bitch is "CRYSTAL" Clear...get it...I made a funny !!!

I have tried to reply 2 times and have not been accepted....oh, those pesky "agents"...

A new post on Crystal's blog...still not being able to respond ???

Anonymous said...: These are the words of Mom26. Sounds to me like she is describing HERSELF perfectly!!

I think you have defined your agenda quite well...
You don't want to get along with anyone who doesn't agree with you...so very sad !!!

To the ANONYMOUS coward...I have tried to respond...Crystal has said her "agent" won't let her...

I wrote this to Crystal in an email tonight:

Crystal,
I thought you would be a "bigger" person than you are presenting yourself to be.
I enjoy the bashing I am getting on your blog..so much so that I am putting it on my blog.
I do not believe you and your "agent" story....a blog is a private enitity.
I would think your "agent" would be more concerned with you bashing a mother of 6, some with
Autism, than me posting on your "precious" blog...
I am surprised also that a mom with a child with Autism would happily let others call her
a "bitch" and a Pharma shill...
Like I said, you have defined yourself to me...

I hope your son gets better so your life will improve. I do not see this happening while he
still has Autism...something I find very sad !!!

Jeanette

I am done with her....she is way too sad for me...

ROLLER COASTER RIDE....

2009-07-18T10:59:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I read a blog piece that really made me sad. Not sad for
myself...I don't wallow in the self-pity of having children with Autism.
Sad for the child about who the piece was written for.
A child who's mother views as "dead"..because, for goodness sakes,
she has Autism. The child she used to have (before the autism) is dead...

Confusing...I know !!!!

As you read on in the piece, you see this child seems to have come a very
long way. She is now considered "recovered" by the mother. But, I guess
that is just not good enough either. This beautiful little girl happens to have
been born 7 days after my youngest son.
I am amazed how 2 women..mother's of children who are the same age...can feel
so differently about their children.

In our home, we live with 2 severely disabled autistic individuals. The bookends
of our children...the youngest and the oldest..
Kiernan 8 is non-verbal and a ball of energy. He is what keeps us on our toes. He
is beauty and grace. He is our last child, but he has always fit into our very
unique family. He receives therapies and has attendant care, because he requires
a lot of energy to take care of...but, he is worth every minute.
Caitlin, 18, is verbal by choice. She will answer your questions, but they better be
worth her time to answer. She also requires attendant care, because mentally,
she is like an 8 year old. She attends regular high school with a 3.7 grade point
average. She is complex and unique.
Erin and Patrick both have PDD-NOS. Although you cannot tell them apart from
their peers, they have sensory issues. She wears her Ipod and headphones when she
needs to shut people and noises out. We approach their issues individually. Erin
needs a drawing pad and something soft to rub on where ever we go. Patrick needs
a video game or a ball to squeeze. These items keep them focused and able to stay
on task.
Deirdre has Asperger's. She is inquisitive and wants to learn new things. She reads
all the time. Deirdre also listens to her headphones when she is annoyed or irritated.
Deirdre loves older kids, she can keep up with adult conversations and is up on current
events. She is as close to brilliant as their is. In fact...She is the smartest person I
know, and I am the dumbest person she knows ( in her mind, anyway).
Meaghan, our NT child is just that NT...and with that comes all of the angst and heart-break
that a normal 6th grade girl should know. The right hair, clothes, Ipod, boyfriends,
swimsuit, bra, etc.....whew !!!!

I know that God put me on this Earth to be these children's mother. He knew that
they would be loved and cared for. He knew that I would never judge them or their
behaviors. He knew that I would accept them and with this, their Autism.

My children have come such a long way. They have surpassed what others told us they
could never do. They have continued to amaze their instructors and their therapists.
They will continue to do so as they get older and mature. We have seen this in our
older children and will see it in our younger children also.

Autism did not ruin our family. Autism did not take my children from us. They are
right here in front of me. They are beautiful and funny. When they enter a room,
I feel my face light up and my heart fill with so much love. They are meant to be here
and they are meant to be mine.
These children will NEVER feel that they are not meant to be.
We will continue to raise them and adore them. We will continue to enjoy this roller
coaster of a ride that was chosen for our family...and I will continue to thank God
every day for letting me be these children's mother.

BTW..today is my husband's 44th birthday. Me and the kids...yes, all 6 of them,
will be heading out to get the cake and ice cream for tonight's festivities. We will
prepare his favorite dinner and enjoy being around this amazing man...a man who
has never questioned why he is the father of these children, but a man who
works 2 jobs to make sure they are taken care of. A man, who at this very minute,
is at the ball field running a clinic for kids who need a bit of help with baseball, so
they can catch up with their peers (free of charge, of course)....selfless, loving and
strong...Happy Birthday Patrick !!!!

A WORK OF ART...

2009-07-14T16:47:00.005-05:00

Our 12-year-old daughter, Erin, is quite an artist. She has a beautiful voice and dances like a ballerina (even though she is almost 5 feet 10 inches tall). Recently, she has been drawing from freehand. These are her latest creations. She left one black-and-white, while the other was colored with vibrant colors...much like my Erin herself. Nope, these are not drawn on pre-printed paper...they are all Erin and yes, like her...they are A WORK OF ART.

MY INDEPENDENCE DAY....

2009-07-04T23:02:00.002-05:00

I had an epiphany today...A true blue epiphany..

We like to entertain..okay...I love to entertain..it is the caterer in me.
We had friends over..a single mother and her two young boys, aged 7 and 11.
The 11 year old is quite active and requires some prompts to settle down or stay
on task. They have been in our home before, but I never thought to ask the mother
what "diagnosis" her child had..because, I can pick out Autism anywhere...

I asked the mom..."So, ADHD..."?
She said, "No"..
I went further..
"Aspergers"?
Nope...

Finally, this very bright mother said....He's just Johnny !!!! (yes, I changed the name)

Nuff said...

Why the hell have we parents fought for years for a label...when all we could have done
is accept our child for being themselves?....I so get it !!!
Why are we trying so very hard for our children to be accepted into a community that
would probably not accept them no matter what...because perfection is what we are
used to wanting...

When I watch Oprah or Larry King Live, and see Jenny McCarthy or the other biomedical
mothers...with the scowls on their faces, because they are so frickin mad at what life has
given them...
Then, I look over and see the gifts God has given me....I am so thankful I am pass the anger
that autism tried to give me.

So,yes,
My kids have a diagnosis of Autism..but,
from now on,

They are Caitlin, Deirdre, Erin, Meaghan, Patrick and Kiernan...
They are who they are...they will owe no one an explanation..
they will owe no one a reason for why they are the way they are...

This has become my Independence Day....

Eric London Resigns from Autism Speaks.....

2009-07-01T19:03:00.002-05:00

I had the great pleasure of meeting Dr. Eric London, and his wife Karen, in 1998.
My husband, my mother, Caitlin, Deirdre, Erin, baby Meaghan and myself traveled
to New Orleans, LA to attend a NAAR gala.
I had called Karen, on the phone, prior to the engagement to tell her how excited I
was that NAAR was started and to tell her a bit about my family.
You see, we were in the process of having Erin diagnosed at the age of 18 months.
We had 2 kids with Autism, which was unheard of at the time.
The NAAR benefit was held in New Orleans...one of my favorite cities. The gala was
held at Ann Rice's mansion. John Goodman was to MC...I love him from Roseanne.
Delta Burke, from my favorite show, Designing Women, was to attend also. In attendance,
was also to be Joe Montegna (who has a child with Autism)....
We arrived at this black tie affair...my husband in his rented tux..and me, in an evening
gown and a borrowed mink coat. We felt like royalty.

The evening started and we were told that John Goodman, Delta Burke and Joe Montegna
were all stuck on location somewhere, and would not be attending.
Dr. London took over as MC....and you know what..?? We did not miss Mr. Goodman AT ALL!!

Dr. London grabbed the microphone and began to tell a story. The story was about
their child who was diagnosed with autism. Tears began to fill his eyes...and the whole
audience listened and cried with Dr. London. He told about his passion in finding ways
to help his child. He told about his feelings and shared his soul....that was incredibly
brave of him....
My husband looked at me...because I tend to well up when I see people cry (especially
men) and asked if I was okay...
I was !!!
I was, because I was in the presence of a man who was not going to give up finding ways
to help his son and not give in to the pressures of those who are wrong.

This week, it was announced that Dr. London was resigning from Autism Speaks for
reasons that are his....not the cronies at Autism Speaks (yes, poor little Katie Wright
is bitching and moaning about this), or the martyrs who feel it is okay to demean and
belittle other parents over at the AS forum.....
The comments on the AS forum are as low as you can go....they do not know Dr. London.
They judge him because he does not believe the way they do...WAY BEYOND PATHETIC !!
Dr. London owes no explanation to you...but, I will say...he has done it with dignity...
something I think the people over at AS need to acquire.

Dr. London...I wish you and your lovely family all of the best. I hope you can continue your
work in Autism with your new endeavor....
My family and myself thank you for that !!!

WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS.....

2009-06-29T09:48:00.004-05:00

....no parent truly knows. Whether your child is born with Autism or born neurotypically.
We all have a vision of our child's future. While our children are growing inside our wombs, we only hope that their futures are going to be bright.
This dream should not die just because your child received a diagnosis of Autism. What should happen is that we, as parents, begin to map their journey starting at a very young age.
Caitlin will be a Senior in high school this year. She will graduate with her class, and possibly continue her education with job training. Caitlin wants to work in an art gallery or a library. There is no reason she cannot....except...the school does not have a clue as to begin her journey to her goal.

As I read AoA today....yes, I read it every day...
Mr. Kirby writes about the "devastating" number of children with Autism in California,
who will be adults with Autism and how this will affect the tax payers.

We could be so ahead of the game if not for wasting the last 10 years on focusing on
"curing" our children through the misguided advice from politicians and journalists.
We could have used all of the resources if we, as parent's, had not listened to the
snake-oil salesmen and women who promised us "neuro-typical" children if we
chelate, B12, Hbot, supplement, and give a diet rich in GF/CF foods.
Right when I thought parent's were coming to their senses...in walks Jenny McCarthy...
back to square one, thanks to her.

One of the comments on AoA was " Everyone in government and medicine should be getting behind us parents working to recover our children.
Thanks to biomedical treatment, many who would grow into governmental depends will be productive, contributing members of society instead."

My answer to the above opine is...
Everyone in government and medicine should be behind EVERY parent with a child or children with Autism. Thanks to the amazing efforts of educators and therapists who are teaching our children coping skills (instead of snake oil promises), our children will grow up and be productive, contributing members of society....

There are many parents out here in Autism Land that have seen our seriously disabled autistic children grow and blossom into productive children. All without having to buy into the hype that is being sold as a "cure"...

So, what does the future hold for any of our children....only the future will tell...for any child. But, why do we feel that our children will fare any less, because they have autism. I expect nothing less from my children with Autism, than I expect from our Neuro-typical daughter. The skies the limit for all of them....

SAME OL'...SAME OL'...

2009-06-27T11:49:00.005-05:00

I have been reading Autism forums since we bought our first
computer in 1997. Caitlin was 6 years old.
So, for 12 years, I have sought out information, from other parents
of children with Autism. I was seeking people who had the same experiences
we had, more experience than we had and different experiences we had
in raising our children with Autism.

After a few years of being involved in the "witty" banter (and let's face it...if
you do not agree with the biomedical community, there is nothing witty about it)..
I decided a year ago, to take a break.

The last 2 weeks, I have decided to revisit the two forums that I frequented...
AutismSpeaks and AutismWeb....
To my surprise....well, not really....I see the same old ranters ranting the same old
rantings...
The same unhappy and unpleasant people who want those around them to be as
miserable as they are. The same name-calling and hatefulness that sent me away
from these forums still exists.
Returning to the forums is very much like returning to watch a soap opera you used
to watch in college and being able to catch up in minutes.
Mrs. Davis is spewing the same lies about the same people and unable to back up her
inaccuracies....
while her cronies keep egging her on...
I truly believe they set her up to look so ignorant (but, that is just my opinion).

Yet, at the same time..not one of these people are helping any parent or child with
autism!!!!

These people with autistic children swore 4 to 5 years ago that they are going to
cure their children by chelating them, changing their diets, supplementing them
with untested drugs, enclosing them in Hbot machines, injecting them with B12 and
lupron shots, slapping nicotine patches on their very small bodies, etc....
Here we are 4 to 5 years later and they still have children with Autism...only older.

Instead of mellowing and finding peace with their children..they are still very angry
and in turn...take the anger out on other parents.
They have continued to try any new cure that comes along...including the OSR crap
being sold by the heads of biomedical.
They have continued to take digs at other parents who go onto these forums to help
parent's of newly diagnosed children...just like they have.

They take every piece of propaganda they can get their hands on and twist and turn
the information to fit their purposes.
So, for this very reason...I will remain off of the forums that are so negatively portraying
autism.

BUT....
I will not stop at trying to help those who are open to a clearer, more logical approach.
I have found many parent's, such as myself and my family, who are willing to
stop this insanity of Jenny McCarthy and Age of Autism....we will be heard and we
welcome to hear from you....
We will not call you names...we will not talk about you behind your backs on "private
forums". We will not demean you for not thinking the way you do. We will not stalk or
torment you like others feel the need to.
We also will not sell you false hopes....just truthful and honest advice that we has been
working for our children with Autism for the past decade and more....

I wish those on the forums luck...I wish them peace....
Mostly...I wish their children happiness in the worlds that are so full
of hate and bitterness....

LAYING IT OUT....

2009-06-24T22:30:00.003-05:00

After I posted my blog today..I received a phone call from a person who thought they were anonymous.
This "anonymous" caller told me..

1. I had no idea what autism was.

2. I did not have autistic children to begin with.

3. I am doing a disservice to people with autistic children who are trying to
help their children...

Let me lay out my feelings...

Let me get this out on the table...

I do not believe in this autism hype of recovery or curedom...
I do not believe the GF/CF diet will cure your child with Autism...yes,
the diet will alleviete symptoms of distress in your child with bowel problems
but....bowel problems are not autism...

I do not believe a B12 lollipop is worth crap.

I do not believe a B12 shot is worth crap.

I think you are doing more harm to your child if you do chelation.

I think you are doing more harm to your child if you do Hbot.

I believe Jenny McCarthy is a joke...and I do not mean she is funny !!!!

I believe a whole lot of physicians are making a whole lot of money off of a
whole lot of parents with children with Autism.

I feel badly for parents who log on to the computer looking for answers find
scare tactics and propaganda.

I feel badly for the parents who buy into the hype that they can cure their child.

What I do know...
I know that kids with Autism grow up and get better with traditional therapies.
I know through inclusion...kids with autism will be educated better than those
without inclusion.

I know that parenting a child with autism is hard...but not impossible.

I do feel sorry for the parents of children who have autism and truly believe their
has been a "conspiracy" from the government. Really gifted journalists have started
this theory and have had a really hard time holding up their end of the conspiracy.

The saddest part is, these really gifted journalists have sold their bill of goods to some
parents who sold everything they own to buy into their crap.

And, in the end....these people have made a butt-load of money and the parents
have lost the same amount.

I have said my peace for the time being, but believe me, I am not done....

I am ticked off.....

I am sick of the media spewing this propaganda crap and the sane one's of us
have to sit back and listen....

Our time has come....
As Jenny McCarthy said on the View a couple of years ago.....
"I am going to use my big mouth to educate the people about Autism".....

ON HIS WAY...

2009-06-24T12:17:00.002-05:00

Kiernan has always been a man of little...well...no words.
Lately, Kiernan has decided it is time for him to communicate with
his voice, not just his Vanguard system or spelling out the words..

I knew this day would come. We have been raising a child with autism
for over 18 years. Believe it or not....Autistic children do get better without
the need of expensive biomedical interventions.

How do I know ????

Because, we have 5 children with Autism.
3 of them are non-distinguishable from their peers....but, they are autistic.
They went from severe autism, and all that entails (poop-smearing, screaming,
running away, lack of sleeping, non-verbal)...to functional, productive people.
All of this while ingesting a gluten-filled, casein-filled diet.

These children have remained in speech and occupational therapies. They did not
participate in the dangerous practices of Hbot and chelation....

Caitlin remained non-verbal....between the ages of 8 and 9, she decided it was time
for her to talk. She has remained verbal and can answer most of your questions about
her autism. She will tell you what bothers her and why she does the things she does...
like cover her ears and humming. Her mind is quite fascinating....as is she.

So, now that Kiernan is discovering his voice....I want to share with the parents of
children with Autism who are told without spending their life-savings on unproven
treatments that....YES....your child will mature and get better.
Unlike the sites that promote the despair of Autism and all the propaganda that
goes along with this despair, I want to share the joy of my children and all the
joy they have brought us.

So...I believe Kiernan is well on his way to talking to us....
It may be soon, it may not...but....
he is on his way..

EXAMINER.COM.....

2009-06-16T20:15:00.004-05:00

I have been hired to be an Examiner...
I am beyond excited...

Here is my first article...

EXAMINER

OPENING A BLIND EYE....

2009-06-13T10:20:00.002-05:00

.....TO AUTISM....!!!

Well, specifically to Autistic Adults....

I have read, continually, that a certain group (and we all know who
this group is...so I will not dignify them with a link) want so be shown
the Autistic Adults....
I believe the question is...
"If Autism is not new, then where are all of the Adults with Autism"???

OPEN YOUR EYES.....they are right in front of you....

They are at the grocery store..
They are at the Walmart and the Target....
They are at the malls....
They are living under my roof....and soon to be living under yours....
They are working in factories, computer companies, shopping malls, retail stores,
and local businesses.
They are living on their own..or in group homes...or some, remain in their homes with
their parents.

While shopping with my 18-year-old daughter, Caitlin, yesterday....a woman
gave Cady a sneer as she walked by humming and buzzing.
I approached the woman and sneered back at her...okay, the Texas Mama in
me came out....it was a moment.
She asked me, "Do you have a problem"...??
I answered, "As a matter of fact, I do"!! "What would possess you to look at my
beautiful daughter with such disgust"?
This woman answered, "In my day, she would have been put away in one of them
hospitals".....
I told this woman, "Thank God we have come so far from "your day"!!
I then explained that Caitlin had Autism...she then told me how you didn't see
those folks when they were growing up...."they either lived with their folks or
were put away in one of them places".....

If you type in the words "State institutions" or "State Hospitals" and read about
these places where they put the "mentally disabled" or "Mentally Fragile" patients...
you would see where they started out to be nice replacements for home living, but
soon became so over-crowded with the "mentally unstable"...they became "horror
houses" for the disabled.
Wall-to-wall children and young adults....most labeled "mentally retarded", because
the diagnosis of Autism was not yet discovered. I truly believe these non-verbal, non-toilet
trained, rocking and head-banging children would have been labeled autistic now.. They
would have the wonders of an education and therapies that were non-existent then.
They would now be able to be functioning adults, instead of the majority of them
dying young in a place where no one could see them....hidden behind large brick buildings
with very high stone gates.....

Every time I go out, I see these amazing humans and thank God were are walking and
working amongst them...This gives me great hope for the future of our children with Autism....
because, believe me....they will become adults, just like the Autistic children that have come
before them. Luckily for them, they are no longer hidden by blind eyes!!!!

WHAT AUTISM ISN'T....

2009-04-21T19:18:00.008-05:00

I received an email a few days ago about an article written locally, on the Autism Hub email list. A Hub blogger wrote about the story in Austin Woman's Magazine titled What is Autism?

(http://daisymayfattypants.blogspot.com/2009/04/what-is-autism-well-it-aint-this.html)

In case you want to read it...What is Autism?
I was so incensed by the article that I had to write the author.

This is my first email I sent...
What Is Autism? Autism is a neurological disorder. It is not GI issues !!! It is not the "unethical and untested" treatments given by doctors at The Thoughtful House. Autism is not heavy metal poisoning or too much toxicity in the body. What Is Autism? Autism, in my house is age 18, severe autism, junior at regular high school with an aide...honor roll. Age 14, Aspergers..regular high school honor roll. Age 12, PDD-NOS..regular middle school....honor roll. Age 9, PDD-NOS..regular elementary school...honor roll. Age 8, Severe Autism, regular elementary school..lifeskills program with inclusion. It is not sedation with a colonscopy. It is not the elemental diet fasting. It is not Hbot chambers. It is not chelation. It is hard-working therapists who work hard to help our children be able to live in a society that wants to "cure" them so desperately. My children are not broken, they need to adapt to a society that so readily wants to make them better. They are pretty amazing to me already. If you really want to see autism, give me a holler... I will introduce you to some pretty amazing people...

This was my response from the author...

From: Darline Turner-Lee To: Mom26children@aol.com Sent: Mon, 20 Apr 2009 2:39 pm Subject: RE: What is Autism Dear Ms. O'Donnell, As the writer of the "What is Autism" article, I am responding to your editorial comment. First off, Autism is classified as a neurological disorder, but that description is believed by many clinicians who work with children with autism to be incomplete. There is overwhelming evidence that many of the neurological manifestations of autism are the result of abnormalities in affected children's gastrointestinal tracts and immune systems. Many scientists and clinicians, those of Thoughtful House, The CARE Clinics and others believe that doctors have to look at and treat the other systems in order to effectively manage autism. As a mother of 4 children with Autism Spectrum Disorder, I am sure that you have seen a wide range of symptoms and had to try a wide range of treatments in order to help your children to be able to function and mainstream to the high degree that they are currently. Thankfully for you, you found conventional treatment plans and therapist that have worked for your situation. Unfortunately, that has not been the case in many other situations. For many other families, when conventional treatments and therapists gave them no hope at all, using alternative treatments such as dietary modification, chelation therapy, Hyperbaric Oxygen, supplements and others has meant the difference between their children being able to focus and mainstream into public schools and being unable to function, interact with others or to participate in society. It is not anyone's right (yours included) to declare that a treatment is wrong or ineffective if they have not used it, it was not effective in their situation or if other people are using it-whether successful or not. Parents of autistic children, like parents of children with any type of medical disorder, are simply trying to get help for their children. When one treatment or therapist doesn't work for them, they must move on to something else. Every parent makes difficult decisions for their children. These are choices that many parents made and while you and others may not believe in the treatments offered by these facilities, that does not mean that they are not valid, are not effective or that they cannot be discussed. The doctors at both Thoughtful House and The CARE Clinics are not practicing outside the scope of skill, they are not doing anything unethical nor are they harming the children that they treat. They provide ANOTHER MEANS by which children on the Autism Spectrum Disorder can manage their symptoms and be able to focus, control their movements, learn and become integrated into our society. I found that to be worthy of reporting and so I did. What you don't know and what will be presented in Part II of this series is that the aforementioned "alternative" therapies in conjunction with therapies such as Applied Behavioral Therapy and DIR Floor Model Therapies are giving children a chance at functional independence. So no, The work of dedicated therapists is not discounted. They will be presented. Autism is a multifactorial disorder and many therapies have to be integrated for treatment to be effective. We are all individuals and what will work in one person is not guaranteed to work in the next. If we become so narrowminded as to believe only what we can see and only what resonates with our belief systems we are going to miss out on a bounty of good therapies and I don't want that to happen. Thank you for your response. Darline Turner-Lee Physician Assistant, ACSM Clinical Exercise Specialist, Health Care Writer Next Step Fitness, Inc and Bedrest Comfort & Care 6705 Hwy. 290 West, Ste 502 #283, Austin, TX 78735 www.nextstepfitness.com www.mamasonbedrest.com darline@nextstepfitness.com darline@mamasonbedrest.com 512-288-0827

My response back to her...

Thanks for your reply. I must tell you, I have 5 autistic children, not 4. Your article was titled "What Is Autism"? You did not define it. You put what The Thoughtful House decided it is. Autism is not defined as gastrointestinal. No where in the DSM-IV is gastrointestinal listed. Autism is not toxic overload. That is what The Thoughtful House is defining it as. I found it very irresponsible reporting and yes, that is my opinion. 2 of my children are severely affected by autism. My oldest, 18 years old... and my youngest, 8 years old. My oldest received all vaccinations...my youngest received NONE... My 14 year old has Aspergers. My 12 year old and my 9 year old were both diagnosed with severe autism and now are PDD-NOS...both fully inclusioned in regular classrooms in regular schools. Why is this not being reported? They did not receive any chelation, any biomedical interventions, any Hbot any B12 shots, and any ABA or RDI. They have not been physically invaded through colonoscopies or lumbar punctures. What they did receive was OT, Speech, Play and Physical Therapies with a stress on Sensory Integration. Why is this not being reported? Why, because it is not sensationalistic enough, that is why. If I sound angry, I am not...I am just irritated with the media's need to represent Autism in a one deminsional way..the biomedical Jenny McCarthy-Thoughtful House way. That is not good journalism, but makes a good story, right? There is a new program starting at the University of Texas called UTAP- University of Texas Autism Program. They implement Sensory Integration Therapies and have found great success. I hope to heck they will be included in future media reports..you know, fair and balanced. Unless you have a child on the spectrum, you have know idea what some parent's will do to cure their children. Places like the Thoughtful House know this. They happily take the money these parent's are willing to hand out for false promises. I am a mother living in Austin and believe me, your magazine does not represent me. Jeanette O'Donnell

PRESENTING AUTISM POSITIVELY...

2009-04-10T22:06:00.001-05:00

I am on a mission to present Autism with a positive approach. No more sad, impossible stories about autism. No more watching children have meltdowns on television for me. That is all that television and newpapers want to show.

Nope, I am on a mission to show a positive side to autism....I know, I know...Autism has its downside....all life does. It is called life.

No one, not even the most "normal" person has it easy. We all have to get along with people who do, or do not, want to get along with us.

I ran into an old friend from school at lunch today. I sat and talked with her and her mother for over an hour (I did not intend to , but I got to rambling)...I noticed a mother walk into the restaurant with her little girl (who has Down's Syndrome).

When they got up to leave, they walked by our table. I said, "What a beautiful child". Her mother looked into my eyes and smiled.

I hope people do not get the impression that I say these things to get a pat on the back...

I say these things because I want people to be aware of their surroundings and that their are differently-abled people everywhere.

Their parent's need to know that we care and we are there to help....

My friend Cynthia said, "Wow, that was amazing how the Mother connected to you"...I told her I have to talk to everyone, but especially parent's with children with disabilities. They need to know that they are not alone and that people see the beauty in their children.

I left there and went to my grocery store. As I was leaving, I heard buzzing..there was my other new friend Andrew (whom I met last week)...I said, "Hi Andrew"...He said, "Hi Jeanette"...my day was made..he remembered me.

If media will not portray our children with all of their beauty and everything that goes with it...not just the gloom and doom...then it is my job to do so.

Get ready America...we are coming...we will be stronger than any Warrior Mom...we have been around longer and we know the drill. We have age and wisdom on our side...we have withstood the good and the bad...we have met challenges and won. We will win the battle of the media also.

Does anyone know Oprah's direct phone number?

AUTISM, LIES and MONEY...

2009-04-06T21:20:00.003-05:00

After watching Jenny McCarthy and her crew of puppets on Larry King Live Friday night
(and a few times after that..just to make sure I was hearing them correctly)...I have come to
the conclusion of the reason for their being on television...

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY, MONEY....

If you go to the website, mentioned on the show (and no, I will not mention it here)..you get
directed to a package sold by the good Dr. Kartzinel..for the incredibly low price of $219.80 +
shipping and handling (of course)...
All products followed by this disclaimer..
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

As if I would be surprised the FDA would approve anything they sold.

My problem is this...
Jenny McCarthy and Dr. Kartzinel have hit every talk show to #1..sell their book
and now #2..to sell their "supplements"...

Jenny McCarthy has stated her son is 100% recovered...100% cured...
BULLSHIT !!!!

JennyMcCarthy's son has minimal eye contact. He repeats phrases. He walks on
his tippie-toes. He attends a non-mainstream school, in his home. According to
Jenny, he is still receiving chelation (why, if he is cured?).

Jenny McCarthy has a beautiful son. That is not to be diminished.

Jenny McCarthy has a beautiful son with Autism, but to say that would stop the
sale of a lot of books and television appearances.

Our daughter Erin, 12 and our son Patrick, 9 were both diagnosed with severe autism
before their 2nd birthday.
Now, they are both PDD-NOS..they are non-distinguishable from their peers, in regular
classrooms, with neurotypical peers. They play amongst them and learn amongst them..
but, they are still Autistic.

When self-promoters like Jenny McCarthy sell the promise of cures and recovery, they
are not only lying to themselves, but to the many parents who are buying (and I mean
buying) into their bull...

I have been through all that is to be offered by the best and the worst of Autism...
we are now viewing the worst. I pray that I will not have to view her for much longer.

WHERE ARE ALL THE ADULTS WITH AUTISM?

2009-04-04T10:13:00.003-05:00

HANDLEY: I want to talk about this issue of autism prevalence. It's going to be shocking for parents to learn that the CDC and the AAP don't actually acknowledge that there's been a real rise in autism cases. Larry, the Department of Education in 1992, 16,000 kids were getting autism services. Today 225,000. That means in 1992, they were missing 93 percent of kids with autism. Where are all the adults with autism? They don't exist.These numbers are real. But if you never acknowledge there's been a real rise, you don't have to find an environmental agent that caused it.

Mr. Handley, if you would like to take some time, I would love to introduce you to some adults with Autism...

In 1971, I had my first job...I was hired to babysit a family with a 3 year old boy and a 7 year old girl. The 3 year old boy had severe autism. He rocked, he flapped and he was non-verbal. He would now be 41 years old.
In 1982, I worked in a residential treatment center. The dorms I worked on had teenage boys and girls, initially diagnosed with Mental Retardation and then later, the Autism diagnosis was added.
These teenagers would now be in their late 30's and early 40's.
When the residential treatment center closed, they were sent home to find other facilities or in group homes....

In my neighborhood alone, there are 4 group homes that house 7 autistic adults in each home..that is 28 adults with Autism in my neighborhood alone...not including my child who is now an adult with Autism.

Mr. Handley, you singlehandedly have discarded a very large community of people living and working in our community. I believe you don't see it because you don't want to.
If you admit there are actually adults out in the world with autism, your little conspiracy will be shot down. All of the propaganda you spew at your sites will be discredited.

http://www.ageofautism.com/2009/04/from-cnn-live.html#comments
A mother writes on AgeOfAutism...
Mr. Handley discredits families of adult children with autism! He stated tonight on the show that there are no adults with autism! Shame of you for spreading your lack of knowledge. My son is 26 years old and has a diagnosis of autism. And shame on you for ignoring the years of hell our family and others like us has endured. When he was diagnosed 22 years ago, the criteria was so narrow that only the most severe could fit that label. Although my son was severe, they would not label his as having autism, but only "characteristics". Many children had autism back then, but were labeled MR! Go to the instituions and you will see the truly autistic adults that were mislabeled MR and mentally ill.22 years ago, I started reading about the MMR link; then the mercury link; now the huge vaccination link since you can no longer blame the MMR. Well, when my son was vaccinated beginning in 1983, there were less than 10 vaccines in the schedule. And guess what??? He is still autistic as are all of his former (now adult) classmates!

This was a response from a parent who is trying to discredit the mother who wrote the above letter to AoA...Nice huh?

Also, to Fonda Watson: If you are indeed a parent to a child 26 years old, I can relate as my child was born before the epidemic numbers, but right when the increase in thimerosal took place and the numbers did start to increase (1993).
How though, did you 22 years ago (1987) start "reading about the MMR link; then the mercury link; now the huge vaccination link since you can no longer blame the MMR." I'm sorry but that is just not accurate. You could not have investigated as no one knew that vaccines or environmental factors (mercury) were the cause of autism in 1987.

Ms. Conrick, if you are indeed a parent of a child with autism, how come it is so easy for
you to discredit a mother who has far more experience than you in living with an autistic
child?

This is the reason my blood is boiling right now....
I am amazed by the hatefulness that is spewed to the parent's who have lived
with a child with autism for over 20 years.
We have so much to learn from these mother's, but instead,
the mother's of younger children with autism want to call them liars.

The comment looks very similar to an Anonymous comment left on my blog
just yesterday...https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=32355297&postID=1998993530597266901
If you do work hard to help them, than that is admirable. If they are, in fact, doing so well in school, then I'm really happy to hear it. I do not for any child to struggle with Autism, regardless of whether or not I agree with their parents methods.

Of course, people who comment anonymously are really not to sure of their own
convictions, are they?

My hope is, since Mr. Handley so callously made this comment on television, that
every parent of an adult child with autism..or an adult with autism..comes forward and
lets him know they are here, they have been here, and they are tired of being ignored.

I will gladly represent those whose voices you are trying to silence...

I recently had a conversation with a 23-year-old male with autism. I asked him
what he would like to do with his life...he has one simple request...
"He wants more services for adults with Autism".."he wants to take college courses,
get a better job than cleaning tables at a local restaurant, and he wants speech therapy
past the age of 22 years old...."

I do not think that is too much to ask....

So, instead of saying the adults with autism do not exist...why don't we acknowledge they
do exist and make their lives accountable?

AUTISM AWARENESS DAY...

2009-04-02T10:58:00.002-05:00

Oh Yippee!!!

Well, I personally have been aware of Autism for over 30 years. Starting at the tender
age of 10 years old, I babysat a 2 year old with Autism. That would make the young man
41 years old.
I worked at a residential treatment center from 1982 to 1985. I worked on a dorm with
4 15-year old girls with Autism. They would be 42 right now.

Then, in 1991, I gave birth to the first of our 6 children, 5 whom have autism....so
Aware we are.

So, on this Autism Awareness Day, I will not watch the news. I will not subject myself
to the torments of hearing how Jenny McCarthy is promising people that she can cure
or recover their children. I will not listen to Dr. Kartzinel tell people how his son is broken
and how autism steals the souls from our children....what a putz!!

I would love for Jenny to tell the truth on how her son is not attending regular school,
but a school built for him in their home...with him being the only child.
I would love to hear Jenny explain how she spews the harm of toxins, yet boasts about
the greatness of botox.
I would love for Dr. Kartzinel to explain that he adopted his child from a drug-addicted
mother...the little boy was unfortunately doomed to have neurological problems way before
he received the MMR shot.

I saw an ad on CNN for Larry King...it stated "THE TRUTH ABOUT AUTISM" with
Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey....
Neither of them know the truth about autism.

Autism is a neurological disorder. Autism is repetitive behaviors, lack of socialization and lack of verbal skills. Autism is the need to have constant stimulation around them. To make their surroundings comfortable for the noises or conditions around them that bother them, such as rocking, stimming or humming.
Autism is not the gut....Autism is not poop-smearing
(that is just a lovely side-effect due to the constant need of stimulation)...give your kid
some shaving cream instead to smear.
I would love to hear about Autistic children and adults who are thriving and improving
every day without the crap being talked about in Jenny McCarthy's book.

I feel really, truly sorry for the parent of a newly diagnosed child who has to rely on a
bleached-blonde, botox-filled, silicone-altered, D-list actress who is doing more harm
for the world of Autism than she could ever imagine.
I feel horrible for her son, who one day will read her books, and read the filth she
writes about not only his father, but other mothers who do not choose her approach.

Put Jenny McCarthy up against one of us mother's who have been in the world of autism
2 times longer than herself and she will not stand a chance...c'mon, we are ready for
a debate. Not a yelling match, but a debate. Not a name-calling festival, but a debate.
We won't be holding our breath...!!!

JENNY McWHO ????

2009-03-28T10:35:00.005-05:00

That is my dream...one day, when you mention Jenny McCarthy, you get
Jenny McWho?

Jenny McCarthy has done more harm for children with Autism than any
other person in the history of Autism. Through promoting that she has cured...
I mean, recovered....I mean..hell, she can't even get the story straight.

Anyway, when I bring up the fact that I need to prepare my children for their future...
their future education, their future living arrangements, their future jobs, this is what
alot of people say..."Jenny McCarthy says your children can be cured...why don't you
cure your children, then you wouldn't need the services?"

Through Jenny McCarthy campaigning that autism can be cured..why would we need to prepare for our childrens future if they can be cured?...

I am working very hard to make sure my children with autism have a fighting chance
to have a decent life after public school. The school system has been a wonderful
place for my kids. They have been treated with respect and dignity. They have
inclusioned my children and educated them better than I would ever have imagined.
I want my children to be able to attend the college of their choice. I want them
to be able to work wherever they want.

Lately, I have had contact with several moms who have older Autistic children. These
true Mother Warriors, the one's who are fighting for better services for their adults with
autism, all say the same thing to me...
"Jenny McCarthy pisses me off"!!!!

Guess what? She pisses a whole bunch of people off.
I stopped liking her way before the Autism thing...I stopped liking her when she compared
herself to Lucille Ball...as if !!!!

Even worse, now she has written a new book with the same doctor who said my
children's souls were stolen by Autism...he obviously has not met my children!!!

Get ready for Oprah and Larry King to pounce on this one....

I wish to one day turn on the television...I want to see a group of women who have
seen autism for over 20 years. The mom's and dad's who have loved and cared for
a child with autism and now are caring for an adult with autism. I want to hear
their stories of encouragement. I hear these stories every day...why can't the rest
of the world be blessed with the beauty I get to see and not the "pity party" that is
so popular in the world of Autism?
I want to see adults with autism functioning and prospering in the community...like
Temple Grandin.
These parent's have paved the way so children like mine can get an education in
a regular setting...they have made it much easier for me to raise my Autistic children.

Now it is my turn to make it easier to pave the way for those who are younger
than my children. Now it is my turn to make sure that Autism is not just considered
a quick cure because Jenny says so.
Jenny McWho?????

Now, that's better!!!

WARRIOR MOM...

2009-03-21T22:12:00.003-05:00

My definition of a Warrior Mom...

A mother who does not depend on Jenny McCarthy to define them.
I have an 18 year old daughter who needs to be able to attend college. How will anyone take
me seriously when Oprah has a Playboy Bunny preaching the cures of Autism?
A mother who fights tooth and nail at an IEP meeting so their child gets the respect and education they deserve. A mother who does not negate or ridicule another mother because they do not think the way they do.
A mother who does not feel the need to call another mother's employer because they disagree on the way to treat their autistic child...yes, people....this happens.
A mother who does not make assumptions of another mother because they do not do biomedical treatments.

I was on the phone tonight with a mother of a 23 year old man with autism. We spoke about how we were blessed not to have the Autism drama 18 plus years ago when we had to start parenting our adults with autism. We spoke about the new parent's coming into the world of Autism and how much they have to deal with the drama of Age Of Autism ,Generation Rescue and the other propaganda sites that will draw you in.

A Warrior Mom is a mom who loves their child unconditionally. Who wants them to have all of the advantages of other children. Who beams when they walk in a room.

I am a proud, card-carrying Warrior Mom...but not by the definition of Oprah and Jenny. But, by the definitions of all of the Warrior Moms that came before me. The ones who are raising amazing adults with Autism. The ones who are not looking for a "cure" or "recovery" but the ones looking to find respect and dignity for their adults with Autism...

God Bless You Warrior Moms...you lead the way...I am very close behind.

JUST ONE...TRUSERA...

2009-03-12T16:35:00.002-05:00

This past September, I was flown up to Seattle, WA...my first time there.
I was sent there to be filmed for a video shoot for the health blog site TRUSERA.
Trusera is an amazing site everyone.
My video was released today...here is the link...

http://www.trusera.com/health/stories/mom26children/o-donnell-after-extreme-makeover-autism-and-5-kids

I hope you like it. I am very proud to be on the Trusera blog site.
The message of JUST ONE is that it takes Just One story to have
people relate to it. The philosophy of Trusera.com is very positive.
I hope you find it the same.

SO BOARD...OOPS !!!

2009-03-02T21:18:00.002-06:00

I mean bored!
Autism forums, boards and "news" sites have become quite a joke
lately among the parent's of children and adults with Autism who are
truly looking for help.
I have been reading these sites for over 5 years now, and they are
still fighting about the same thing they fought about 5 years ago.
Luckily for the reader, some of the more prevalent writers have become better
spellers (my biggest pet peeve when someone is trying to be smarter than another
person).
I have read the same garbage written by the same people for years. They
have nothing new to say. These posters like to cut and paste from other forums
and act like they actually have a clue.
They call names, malign people, and actually...believe me this really happens...
start letter writing and petition signing campaigns.
PEOPLE....you are just pissing off the people you are intending to get to change their
minds.

On one board, there is a particular person who truly thinks they are smart. These
types are the scary ones. They read something somewhere...usually a site that promotes
propaganda and actually believe the crap that is written.
They take every twist and turn the propagandist makes and pushes it so far down in
their brain, it actually looks like the truth to them.
How sad they forget to think for themselves.

These places are like watching a soap opera you haven't seen in years...btw, I do
not watch soap operas (so don't go there with me). You happen to stop on the channel
and there are the same characters with the same problems..just more grey hair and they
have a couple of adult kids by now..having the same problems.
Do ya get where I am going here?

In 5 years, we will be reading the same thing on these boards.

Parents of Autistic children who practice the biomedical approach to Autism
will still be singing the praises of Jenny McCarthy and Dr. Andrew Wakefield.
Jenny and Andrew will be nicely retired after earning a butt-load of money
from these parent's.
The parent's who gave money to these retirees will be working to pay off the
large amount of debt they incurred while paying these "Autism prophets".
The good thing is though, Jenny's face will not have changed one bit...due to
being able to keep on affording the Botox she so greatly loves.

Oh, and Winnie...thanks for the chuckle today on the AW site. I have been
home all day with a sick child and needed a giggle.
"Verifying Facts"....tee hee !!!!
I hope if she is writing a book, she gets someone to spell check for her. ;)

THERE IS A FINE LINE....

2009-03-02T09:34:00.000-06:00

between being a parent with Autistic children who doesn't use biomedical interventions and being a parent of children with Autism who do use biomedical interventions.

We are among the parent's who do not use biomedical interventions. We have seen great improvements in our children without the need for the biomedical interventions. Our children have continued to learn and gain education in regular education schools and classes.

Our children are thriving medically and very rarely get ill. They are on a gluten-filled and casein-filled diet. They are tall and meeting each milestone.

At one time, each of our Autistic children have had or is continuing to have speech, occupational, physical, recreational, play and massage therapies. These have been instrumental in our children's progress.

This morning, I went on an Autism message forum to answer a question a mother had about her daughter and having periods. She was asking for a person with Autism to answer her, but I thought that being a mother of a daughter with severe autism and having dealt with this issue, I would respond to the question.

I responded by telling what methods we used when Caitlin was having horrible issues with her period.

The response given back was written by one of the moderators telling this woman to ask a mother who does biomedical interventions. They would understand better without using traditional medical methods.

Here in lies my issues.....

Does it really matter what side of the biomedical spectrum we are on? Are we not trying to help each other cope when it comes to raising our Autistic children? Isn't that what a support group does?

Not for nothing, but my husband and I have had amazing results raising 6 children...5 of them on varying degrees of the spectrum. We have been in the "World of Autism" for 18 years. We have been there and done that. We have seen the worst Autism has to offer and the best. We have cleaned up more poop smears than any family we know. We have cleaned up more broken glass, spilled liquids, toothpaste and liquid soap spills than most people we know. We have been through the non-verbal child to the early talker. We have struggled with school systems and therapists. We have fought doctors and scientists.

My husband and I are still learning about our children. We have a pretty good grasp on them and their abilities, but always want them to achieve more. We love to learn from others who have been down this road before us. We seek out the parent's of adults with Autism, so we can learn from them....whether it is their successes or their failures.

I hope this fork in the so-called road of Autism (yes, I am full of metaphors today..sorry) narrows pretty soon. It is really getting in the way of the way people and professionals look at autism.

I mean, who can take parent's of children with Autism seriously if we cannot get along amongst each other?

DEAR BULLY...

2009-02-20T08:30:00.004-06:00

My 12-year old daughter, who is by far the sweetest soul on Earth, received
a very sexually explicit note in her locker this week. This small, torn piece of
paper...with words that no 6th grader should know..with acts that no 6th grader
can conceive (especially my very sheltered daughter)...has shaken my daughter
to the core. She is afraid to sleep, because "she doesn't want to dream". She
has stopped singing (which is all she used to do).
Because of this young man, who thought it would be funny to pick on the
"Autistic girl"...I would like to write him a letter...

Dear "cowardly" Bully,
Because you thought it would be funny to write my daughter a very inappropriate
letter and you and your buddies could get a little chuckle out of it.
Let me tell you what it has done to my daughter.
It has taken the "song" out of her voice.
It has made her smile leave her face.
It has made her afraid to sleep, in fear of dreaming about the horrible things
you describe in your "prank" note.
My daughter is 5 feet 10 inches tall. She used to walk tall and proud, but with
one small-minded swipe of your pen across a sheet of paper torn out of a notebook,
you have taken what was a carefree, unafraid to try anything child and made her
into a person afraid to walk into the classroom.
But fear not....you will not win this one. Picture me behind every corner, every
nook and every cranny. I will be there watching your every move. Know that
you will not get away with this, even though the school has done very little to
punish you. Know that this is very far from over.
Sincerely,
The Mother of the daughter you were so "stupid" to mess with.

UPDATE:
The school has decided not to do anything to the boy(s) who wrote the letter
to my daughter. Therefore, it is now up to me to pursue the matter.
I have called for a meeting with the principal and will decide after her decision
what we will do.
This is really far from over!!!

BACK TO REALITY...

2009-02-10T19:51:00.002-06:00

I would to thank the person who commented on my last entry about my
daughter Caitlin turning 18 years old.
This lovely person reminded me why I blog.

This past week, I let myself get caught up in the Andrew Wakefield drama of
Autism. That is the autism that is supposed to come from the MMR vaccine.
Funny thing is...my most affected child has never had the MMR shot...so there
shoots that theory (no pun intended).
I feel very badly for the parent's who feed into the propaganda and spend so much
of their time and energy on "fixing" their children...that they forget they have children
to parent.
I have been there and done that...I was almost drawn into the whole Wakefield
farce. I thank God I have a husband who can rationalize and told me, "Jeanette, I
will believe it when I see it".
I thank God everyday that we did not see it.
I cringe that my child(ren) may have been prodded, poked, and scoped...among
other horrible things.
Guess what, our children, 4 years later from our first meeting with Dr. Wakefield,
have surpassed all expectations. All while on a Gluten-filled and Casein-filled diet.

I read every thing there is to read about Autism every day. I am amazed by the
reasoning parent's give themselves to "cure" or "recover" their children. I am amazed
that they give into the McCarthyism of today.

I blog because my husband and myself have tried our hardest to raise 6 of the most
amazing people on this planet. Children who should have failed, because they were
labeled Autistic.
I thank the people who let us look past the label and continue to try to raise responsible,
kind, respectable and smart children.
I thank those in the blogosphere who have helped me to realize that I was not the crazy
one in this journey called Autism.
I truly thank God for giving me these children to show me what unconditional love is.
Through teaching me patience, love and understanding in a world that many do not understand.

Thanks commenter...you have brought back my spark !!!!

THE DAY HAS COME....

2009-02-08T10:06:00.003-06:00

The day has come..the day that I thought would take forever to get here...
the day where I say..
"I am now the parent of an adult"...

When Caitlin was born 18 years ago...I remember making promises to her.
I promised to always love her and make sure she was happy and well-cared
for. I promised she would never need for anything. I promised her when she got
scared, I would do my best to comfort her.
I hope she feels that I have fulfilled my promises, and will continue to do so.

When Caitlin was diagnosed with Autism, I really did not know what was ahead
of us. What challenges Cady would face, and how, as her mother I could help her
meet those challenges.
I was going to stick by my promises and make sure she was protected and safe
from all outside elements that might hurt her. I would be her armour..
In doing so, I was shielding her from things that she needed to experience.

A very good friend of mine gave me a little piece of advice...
"Let her go, Jeanette"..."let her fall a bit and see what happens".

The minute I gave her more independence...Caitlin flourished. She became
happier and more grounded. She showed me that she was smart and capable.

Her Occupational Therapist gave me the same bit of advice when she wanted
Caitlin to be in the Special Olympics. I was not sure she could handle the noise
and the competition.
The OT said, "Let her go, Jeanette"..."you won't be able to hang on to her forever"...

I let her go...Caitlin went on to win 2 gold medals..one in softball pitch and one in
the short relay race. Caitlin was so proud of herself and we were just as proud of her.

At the age of 3, when Caitlin was still not using her voice, I was not sure she would
ever talk. Frankly, that was the least of my worries. But, around the age of 9, her
voice came. She has been vocal and opinionated since. That is how I know she is my
daughter...she has her opinions and is very vocal about them.

As Caitlin went from Elementary school, to Middle School and now well into
High school....she has proven that she is capable to be able to tolerate most
situations. Caitlin is respected by both her peers and her educators. She has
remained to make me a very proud mother.

As this day approached...I came to realize that it is not Caitlin who is having
an issue with becoming an adult...but my issue.
As her mother, I felt comfortable with the decisions we made in Caitlin's
journey through adolescence and teenage years. I know that we did our
best in making her decisions for her. We worked hard with Caitlin to make her
be able to be at the place she is now....

I, as a mother, am comfortable with parenting the rest of our children because
of the lessons I learned by being Caitlin's mother.

You see, it is I who is having the problem of Caitlin becoming an adult. I have
never been the parent of an adult. Hopefully I will learn from parent's who
are ahead of me in this area. Parent's who have had to make decisions for their
adult child with Autism. Decisions that might not be the easiest to make, but
what is best for their adult child(ren).

So, there you have it...the day has come.
Happy Birthday to my daughter...who I hope continues to challenge me and
teach me more about being the best Mom I can be.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAITLIN !!!!

PREPARING FOR ADULTHOOD...

2009-02-02T20:54:00.001-06:00

Not me..our daughter Caitlin.

Caitlin will be 18 years old in 6 days. We are going to be the parent's of an adult with Autism. I am not quite sure what the difference is going to be..but, I have aged 4 years just by typing this paragraph.

I went Caitlin's annual review meeting today for High School. I told these educators, in not so many words, that they had better get better at these meetings by the time Kiernan, our 7 year old, crosses their doors..believe me, they are pretty pathetic in the Special Education department in High School.

I like the people and the educators that work with Caitlin...they truly are good people. But, let's be honest, their hands are tied because of beaurocratic "bull". The higher ups in the Austin education system do not know what to do with our adult children with Autism.

Man...I guess this gives me something to do for the next 3 years as Caitlin ages out of the system on her 22nd birthday.

GO GOO....

2009-01-19T20:08:00.003-06:00

I was cleaning up after dinner tonight and took the broom into the Therapy
Room to sweep up a bit. I walked in and saw my 2 sons in there.
Kiernan was watching Barney and Patrick was on the computer.

I said, "Hey boys, how's it going'?"

Patrick said, "Good"....
but...

Kiernan said "Goo"...

Go Figure !!!!

OVERTHINKING AUTISM....

2009-01-15T22:01:00.000-06:00

When I really take the time to think about my children, I truly do not think about their Autism first and foremost. I think about them as individuals.

Sometimes, and this is just my opinion, parent's overthink the Autism aspect of their children, some of them who happen to have Autism.

Autism is not a negative in our home. I know..hard to believe...

Maybe, we as a family, are disillusioned...

Yet, maybe, we as a family are right on target.

I know my children are Autistic...but, personally, I have never ever let that define our children. They are far more than the label of Autism will ever stifle them to be.

Just today, I am in Kiernan's yearly review...the boy is at 3rd grade level and in the 2nd grade...Autism was not even brought up until we had to determine whether or not to reassess him...

I am so very proud of my children. They are amazing, gifted, talented, individuals who happen to have Autism. What do I think about their Autism..I don't...

STAR STUDENT...

2009-01-13T15:23:00.000-06:00

Erin told me she had something to show me yesterday. Now, this is a 12-year-old who does not have much to do with me lately...so I was happy she was even speaking to me with a smile on her face.

Erin hands me a blue sheet of paper. On the paper was written...

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been nominated by your core team of teachers for DECEMBER STUDENT OF THE MONTH.

Erin is so proud, but not near as proud as her father and I are of her. Erin has come so far in her 12 years of life. Diagnosed with Autism at the young age of 14 months. Delayed in speech until she was 4 years old...smearing everything smearable until she was 9 years old....to now, a very functional and happy (except when I am in the room) 12-year-old Middle School student.

Erin sings almost all of the time. She always has a song in her head...she gets that from me, but DO NOT ever let her know that or she will stop.

Erin makes straight A's on her report card, without one bit of help from anyone. She is just smart. Her behavior is impecable and we are most proud of that.

CONGRATULATIONS Erin..you deserve it!!!

SCREAMING TO BE HEARD...

2009-01-12T06:25:00.003-06:00

I was speaking with our 12-year-old daughter, Erin, last night. We were watching the Golden Globe Awards together. That was a surprise in itself..you see, she does not want much to do with me now since she has become a pre-teen. That is very Neuro-typical of her and a great surprise to me.

While we were watching, Kiernan, our youngest son, came out of his area...a downstairs room he likes to watch television and play on the computer...Kiernan was trying to tell us something and we could not figure it out. Finally, we realized his DVD had stopped and he was having trouble getting back to regular cable.

Erin mentioned how Kiernan is doing well by letting us know what he wants, without words.

I asked Erin if she remembered when she was non-verbal. She started speaking around the age of 4 years old. Before that, she screamed and cried ALL OF THE TIME....

Erin told me..."I WAS SCREAMING TO BE HEARD"!!!

Makes sense to me....

JETT'S LEGACY...

2009-01-06T20:43:00.004-06:00

I am numbed by the recent news of John Travolta's and Kelly Preston's son Jett's death. Really, truly numbed.
I look at pictures of Jett from a very young age and then into his teenage years and I see my youngest and my oldest children. They have very dark hair with great eyes, just like Jett.
When I see the pictures of Jett Travolta, I see a child who was deeply loved and adored..you can just see this from his face. You also see the same expression in his parent's eyes when they are in his presence.
I am not a Scientologist, but I get their reasoning in the reincarnation philosophy.
How can a human with such soul on Earth, as Jett had, not continue on and possibly become something even greater in his next life. I like to believe that this life is not all we have to offer. I believe we take our experiences from our life here on Earth and continue on....hopefully being better in our next life.
How can this be all that there is?

I truly do not care if John and Kelly are Scientologists....I could give a rat's behind if Jett was ever diagnosed with Autism....does that really, truly matter?

I have been a fan of John Travolta's for 3 decades. I had his posters on my walls, much to my Mother's chagrin. I have seen Urban Cowboy over 100 times...sad, but true. Remember, I was an Agriculture Education major and on the Rodeo Team in college!

What I hope we all learn from Jett Travolta is that life is so short...much shorter for many. I love how the Travolta's have stated that they are thankful for the time they had with their son. I am positive that Jett felt the same. He was blessed to have them for parent's and they were even more blessed to be able to say they were the parent's of Jett Travolta. Rest in Peace Jett!!!!
Thanks to you, this mother of 6 hugs her kids just a bit tighter at night when I tuck them in...

READY, SET, GO...

2009-01-05T11:45:00.002-06:00

Kiernan is ready for school. He brought us clothes..so we dressed him. He got his coat out of the closet, so we put it on. He got his backpack on....and now is patiently waiting for his bus...

Trouble is...the bus comes tomorrow!!

Silly boy !!!

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT...

2009-01-05T09:48:00.002-06:00

Saturday, I cut my oldest son's, Patrick, hair. He loathes (no exaggeration) haircuts.
I only cut his hair every 4 months or so...so I cut it short in a buzz. He is so cute with it short.
Our electric razor petered out on me during the haircut, so I ran to Walgreen's to buy a
newer model.
Last night, Kiernan, our youngest son, brought me the new razor to open. Kiernan hates
a haircut worse than Little Patrick. In fact, it usually takes 4 adults to get his hair cut.
I opened the new razor and told Kiernan that we would cut his hair tomorrow.
Nope, he was insistent (without words, of course)....
So, at 9 pm, with my assistant Meaghan (his older sister), we cut Kiernan's hair.
I am so proud of how this young man sat and let us shave his head. What a difference
a few months make.

Kiernan is severely autistic. He is obsessive and compulsive. He is non-verbal. He is
happy for the most part...really, I have never met anyone who is happy all of the time....
and if they are, I generally don't trust them. Kiernan has a hard time with change, but
is doing an amazing job conforming to changes in his environment.
Kiernan is following instructions well at school and at home.
He is growing up to be a very smart and much calmer little boy.

So, any new Autism parent's out there, please keep in mind....
Children with Autism do get better with age and can learn to adjust to
society.
Now, with our help, we need to get Society to jump on board and except
our children.
Baby steps Jeanette, baby steps......

THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE...

2009-01-04T10:39:00.004-06:00

Caitlin cannot find her headband. She has had this headband for at least 6 years. At night, after her bath, she wraps it around her wrist. In the morning, she takes off the headband and hands it to me when I ponytail her very long hair.
Caitlin is a creature of habit. She loathes change.
Meaghan and myself have spent the morning looking for this headband, to no avail.

Caitlin is a 17, almost 18, year old Autistic young woman. She is very good at compensating for most issues in her life. She really does ask for very little. She wants her Diet Sprite, Rold Gold Pretzels, Goldfish crackers, beef jerky or chicken strips and her Rice Krispie Treats. On a good day, she will have Chex Mix...
Caitlin goes to 11th grade in a regular high school. She attends regular classes with an aide. She makes all A's and B's. She has a 3.5 Grade Point Average.
Caitlin has impeccable behavior in school and amazing restraint in situations which would normally set her off. She can usually be redirected into calming down when she starts to get frustrated.

But....this headband thing is setting her off.
Setting her off for obsessing all day about a tattered old headband. A headband that in some small, unusual way, makes her feel calmer and happier.

So...off I go to look, once again, for this headband.
Wish me luck !!!!

WRAPPING IT UP...

2008-12-21T10:19:00.002-06:00

Meaghan and Patrick were helping me wrap gifts yesterday. Meaghan was writing the names on the name tags and Little Patrick was placing the packages under our tree.
Kiernan, who before this year, has had NO interest in Christmas. Actually, he hasn't had any interest in any gifts..be it Birthday, Valentines, Easter and especially Christmas. He is more interested in the foods that are around the kitchen.
Well, lo and behold, Kiernan started to put packages under the tree. WOW !!!!

This morning, Kiernan brings me gift wrap and bows out of our gift wrapping box. I told him there were no more packages to wrap today.
Kiernan did his little noise that he does, when he is annoyed...kind of a quick grunting noise.
How can I ignore this request?

Kiernan and I spent the rest of the morning wrapping little things around the house. They are now gingerly placed under Meaghan's penguin Christmas tree, on the top of the landing upstairs.

Kiernan will be 8 years old in March. He is tall and lanky. He does not have words right now, but he does have a voice. He makes his demands and requests known. He asks for very little in this world. Just things to make him calm in a world that does not conform to his needs. He has to find ways to make him happy. So, for a brief moment this morning, we did just that. We wrapped.....

I just got my Christmas present early...Thank You Santa Claus....

SPEECH-LESS...

2008-12-09T10:28:00.003-06:00

I was told, this morning, that our 8 (almost 9-year-old) son will be dismissed
from Speech services in May. This means that he no longer qualifies for any
services...AT ALL !!!!
What does this mean?
Does this mean that our son, who has been diagnosed with Autism is recovered or
cured?
Patrick has been working very hard, since he was born, to be able to speak in a way
that everyone understands him. He has been in speech services ever since he was
10 months old. Patrick has gone from pure frustration where no one understood a
thing he said...Meaghan would be our translator (she has a gift), to where for the last
2 years, Patrick has had a major speaking part in the school plays.
So, recovered...no, that is what you do to furniture!!
Cured...nah, that is what you do to meat!!

Patrick has succeeded by pure determination, undying devotion from therapists and
teacher's, great friends and family members who saw his greatness since the day he
was born.

Patrick still has many sensory issues and is a very sensitive little boy. He has a heart
as big as Texas and wears it on his sleeve. He is adored by all that meet him and has
had the same friends for years. He adds to his list of friends all of the time.
He loves baseball, football, wrestling and now hockey.

I cannot wait to tell Patrick the good news when he gets home today. He might
be a bit sad, because he has been seeing Ms. Marsha since he was 3-years-old.
She has helped him gain his voice and articulate better than any other 9 year old boys.
Marsha glows when she talks about Patrick...she is so proud of him and gladly
releases him from Speech...now, that leaves me SPEECHLESS.

BIRTHDAY WISHES...

2008-11-17T20:25:00.003-06:00

This is 48...

Today, I turned 48 years old. I would never have predicted my life to be the way it is now.
I would NEVER have envisioned 6 children. The Autism, well, I have always been one up
for a challenge, so the Autism never scared me. It made me back up a step or two, but
I have never let it stand in my way or my children's way.

When I turned 25 years old, I thought that if I made it to 40, I have made it.
Well, I hit 30, 35, 40 and 45. My next big event is 50. 2 years is not that far
away.

Not to brag, but I feel and look better than I ever have in my life. I am healthier
and happier. I am so glad to be a mom.....a mom to my children.
I adore the man I am married to...
I love my mother more than ever.
I am so thrilled to have the friends I do...hand-picked of course!

I waited until I was 30 years old to become a mom. I am so glad I did.
As a 48 year old mother, I feel like I am 27.....I thank my children for that.
It is not easy to keep up with them...but, because of them, I can..!!!

HONOR AMONG THIEVES....

2008-11-14T19:29:00.003-06:00

Believe it or not, some thieves have very good taste.

My friend, Mary, had her house broken into...and I mean broken...
The thieves broke the front door and basically destroyed it.

Amongst the rubble, the thieves found it appropriate to leave
behind one very important article....discarded on the top of the trash
heap they left behind was the biggest piece of trash of all....

Yes, Jenny McCarthy's book "LOUDER THAN WORDS"....Hell,
even the thieves have good taste.

Not to make light of a horrible situation, but truly, it was the only
laugh Mary has had since the robbery.....thank you Jenny for making
my friend have a ray of light in a bad situation...

IT'S PUZZLING TO ME....

2008-11-09T10:57:00.001-06:00

The puzzle piece, I mean...
The puzzle piece was chosen to be the International "symbol" for Autism. Supposedly, person's with Autism were missing something....no one can figure out what is missing....so therefore, they are missing a piece of themselves.
My thought is that isn't everyone a puzzle piece then? Are we all not missing something...looking to achieve something more...always searching for something better in our lives.
Me, I want to write a book. Not the "Great American Novel"...just a book about life...my life.
I talk to almost everyone I meet. I like to find out some little something about everyone. Through doing this, I have found out that everyone has a story. Every person is still looking for something. Some people get lost on their way to finding what they want, ie, drugs, bad relationships, etc. Most all of them are working hard to get back on track.
As a mother of six children, 5 whom happen to have Autism, they are no more puzzling than anybody else out there. In fact, I believe persons with Autism know what they want more than a person not diagnosed with Autism.
Persons with Autism do not find themselves puzzling at all...it is quite the opposite. Maybe it is society that needs to be "fixed". Maybe we need to redefine Autism so people who don't know what it is won't be so puzzled by it. Parent's of Autistic children cannot even agree what "Autism" is. How do we expect society to figure it out?
Now that is puzzling!!!!!

BLAME IT ON THE RAIN....

2008-11-03T16:49:00.005-06:00

Okay, I log onto my computer, like I do every morning while waiting for Kiernan's very early bus. There, on the computer, was a story about how researcher's at the University of Washington are saying children who live in areas with larger precipitation than normal have a greater chance of having Autism.

As you read further into the story, the researcher's explain that it is not the snow or rain causing the Autism, but it is the fact the children are inside longer than those of us who get to experience nicer weather conditions. Therefore, the children are exposed to the toxins in the home and the television.

I have been the mother of a child(ren) with Autism for over 17 years. I have been told that autism is caused by "cold" mothers, old fathers, vaccines, genes, immune deficiencies, televisions, too much coffee, drugs taken as a youth, and on and on and on. Can we not just
admit to the fact that Autism has been around forever. That we are now intelligent enough to decifer what Autism really is?

I finished reading Dr. Paul Offit's book "Autism's False Prophets", I have come to a better understanding about vaccines and Autism.

I would like to thank the good doctor for calling me back. As far as he knew, I was just another ranting "Anti-vaxxer", "Biomed Mama" who was calling to rake him over the coals. I assured him I wasn't.

I had some questions as I read the book and a very nice, calm, gentle-voiced man answered the questions for me...without making me feel stupid. Thank You.

I do not know what causes Autism. I know how to help my children with Autism. The choices we have made in our home have proven to be very helpful.

I do know that there is no cure for Autism. Autism is not curable, no matter what Ms. McCarthy or any DAN! doctor will tell you.

When you get the diagnosis for Autism, it is based on behaviors....not gut disorders. If you have healed your child's gut issues and they become more responsive and attentive, then you have cured your child's gut disorder. If your child loses their "Autism" label from "healing the gut", then your child was never autistic to begin with, and the doctor ? who labeled your child labeled them incorrectly.

When our oldest was labeled Autistic over 15 years ago, we had to have several consultations with the Neurologist. He would not label Caitlin Autistic until he was absolutely sure this is what she had...Autism. Once the label is placed upon your child, no matter what, they will always have the label of Autism.

You can chelate, biomedicate, reoxiginate (my word, don't get excited), and deyeast all you want...in the end, if your child has a true label of Autism, Autistic is what your child will be.

In Dr. Offit's book, Dr. Offit was very generous in his descriptions of the "false prophets". I was really hoping he would paint an uglier picture of the people who prey upon the parent's of Autistic children, but he told the truth about what these people really are and where they came from. I truly am glad there is a book out now that shows the medical side to vaccinations and not all of the "hype" that we have been exposed to by shoddy journalists, corrupt politicians and really bad actresses.

I read every book that comes out about Autism. I read every book there is to read about vaccinations. I too, have fallen prey to the propoganda that is in most of these books. After 15 years, and with a much clearer head, I can now say "I am free" from the lies about Autism and because of this, my children are much better for it.

"MY LAST YEAR.....

2008-10-29T17:08:00.003-05:00

....AS A PRE-TEEN"!!!!
That is what was announced to me yesterday morning. The date of Erin's birthday.
Erin turned 12 years old yesterday. She is in the 6th grade and taking regular classes
without the need for an aide. Erin's report card was 6 A's and 2 B's.
Erin was born into this world SCREAMING. I gave birth to her in a Birthing Center. There
were no medical interventions..meaning, no epidural, no pain medication, no immunization
at birth...just me, Patrick and a wonderful midwife.
Erin was 10 pounds at birth and just at 23 inches. I thought I had given birth to a toddler.
She was always large and today, at the age of 12 years old, she is already 5' 9"....
Erin screamed until she turned 3 years old. She was frustrated. Erin started walking
at 8 months. She hated laying still. She would roll out of her bouncy chair when she was
2 months old.
When Erin began to talk, she became the happiest toddler in the world. She never stopped smiling. Erin became joyful and that has remained the same.
Erin did not speak until she turned 4 years old. She started talking and has not stopped.
Erin had trouble reading in Kindergarten and was almost held back. She taught herself
to read by the beginning of First Grade.
Erin has always accomplished whatever she has set her mind to. When she wanted to ride
her bike, without training wheels, she practiced on the grass until she could do it.

We do not know why Erin has come so far. She has had continuous Speech therapies. During
her most vital years Erin participated in 20 hours a week of OT, Speech, Play and Recreational Therapies. We did this until she was about 9 years old. Then she met all of her goals. Erin is a Success Story without all of the drama.
Erin still has some sensory issues...she is still Autistic. She is not cured or recovered. She remained gluten-filled and casein-full her whole 12 years, yet is surpassing her NT peers in academics. Socially, Erin is a butterfly whose wings are forever soaring.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds for Erin...the World is hers and thereis no holding her back. Happy Birthday Erin...keep reaching for those stars...they will be yours.

GUESS WHAT???

2008-10-23T21:53:00.002-05:00

I'M AUTISTIC....

My son, Patrick is in the 3rd grade. He brought his report card home yesterday.
4 A's, 2 B's....all 4's in behavior and social skills...not bad, huh?

Today, a classmate did a report on Albert Einstein. The little boy reported that Albert Einstein might have been Autistic.
A classmate asked, "What is Autism"?
Little Patrick raised his hand and said, "Guess what?, I am Autistic"...
The classmate says, "Oh, Autism means you are smart".....

I love that school......

REDEFINING AUTISM...

2008-10-22T15:26:00.004-05:00

We have been inundated lately with Autism. There is stories about Autism everywhere.

I heard a person say, in the grocery store line, Autism is being "shoved down our throats". "If I see that Jenny McCarthy one more time, I will puke"...not my words, but I tend to agree with these people.

Jenny McCarthy has no idea what Autism truly is....she is just so hell-bent on being in "mob" mode that she is not thinking about what she is saying.
She has a huge mouth, but, so do I.

The problem I have with Jenny McCarthy is that she is promoting herself as a “autism” expert. I don’t really trust her any more than I trust any doctor who says they can “cure” autism….Jenny alleviated her son’s GI symptoms..she did not cure his Autism.If you observe her beautiful son, he still shows many Autistic characteristics.GI problems are not symptoms for Autism.Jenny McCarthy is promoting the GFCF diet as if she invented it. Believe me, it has been around a lot longer than Ms. McCarthy.Ms. McCarthy does not impress alot of people except those as desperate as herself.Do I have issues with her? Heck yeah!!She has taken Autism and made it a “dirty” word.Not in our house…In our home, it is 5 children who function appropriatly at school, in the community and in private. This took alot of hard work and alot of therapy, and all with wheat and dairy.Go figure!!!

Jenny McCarthy calls the MMR vaccine the "Autism Vaccine"...funny, my most severely affected child with Autism NEVER had the MMR vaccine....how do you account for his Autism, Jenny?

Jenny is new to Autism....it really scares me that she is leading desperate parent's down a really dangerous path.

When Jenny stated that there are no older children or adults with Autism, that "Autism is New"...

You must read the whole interview, but here is a snippet...this really shows how incredibly "brain-washed" Jenny McCarthy has become...

PR.com: As these kids grow up and get into adolescence and into their early twenties, what happens? You never hear about autistic teenagers. You never hear about autistic college kids, or even kids who had autism when they were young and now they’re recovered. What happens to them on their journey?
Jenny McCarthy: It’s interesting, because autism is so prevalent now, just in the past six or seven years. These kids aren’t adults yet. They’re out there, but it surely isn’t one in ninety-four boys (the current statistic). But let me tell you, when all of these kids are in their twenties, it’s going to be an amazing world to see. I don’t know any [who] are older. People are saying autism’s on the rise just because people are getting diagnosed more. Bullshit! Then show me one in ninety-four men walking around with autism.
PR.com: You never hear about it, you never see it. Where are the autistic adults?
Jenny McCarthy: It’s cause there weren’t any. It’s all now.

Amazing, huh?

Hey, Jenny, c'mon over, I will be happy to show you an older child with Autism...and hey, while we are at it, let me introduce you to some adult friends of mine who happen to have Autism....

Here is the link to the rest of the interview..just for fun...

http://www.pr.com/article/1076

Propaganda at it's very best....

OUTNUMBERED....

2008-10-19T18:30:00.003-05:00

I was sitting at dinner, observing my children eating and conversing with each other. Typical talk from what society believes to be, non-typical kids.

Erin and Meaghan are talking about pre-teen stuff, like music and Hannah Montana (of course). They are discussing how to use a knife and fork correctly (Erin had a light-bulb moment--priceless).

Little Patrick is talking about what is going on in school this week and sports, of course. He is now hugging both sisters around the neck.

Kiernan is happily eating his chicken breast and humming...he is so happy when he gets chicken for dinner.

The kids helped me make dinner. 3 of them cleaned the trampoline room. One wants to clean the toilets....I told her I would do that tomorrow.

We are a large family. We forget we have children with Autism.
This does not mean we do not have children with Autism...but, we forget becasue, they go together so nicely.

Maybe it is because us Neuro-typical people in our home are so outnumbered by the persons with Autism, that in our home....Autism is the "normal".....

Instead of trying so hard to get our children to behave like a normal child, we have let them remain comfortable in their skin. We have seen great progress both emotionally, educationally, and physically. We have been complemented, too many times to count, on how well our children behave. We could not be more proud of any of our children.
The only thing that Autism has taught us is that we must work just a bit harder to get these children ready for Society. They are so above average, that average is not acceptable.

I rest my very tired head, every night...I say my prayers and thank God for giving me the ability to be these children's Mother. I thank God for the blessings I have received. I thank God for letting me be Outnumbered...because, through my husband and my children, I have been more blessed than I can ever have imagined.

HEADLINES...How Jenny McCarthy SAVED Her Son...

2008-10-16T18:28:00.003-05:00

This is an excerpt from US Magazine...

Jenny McCarthy opened up exclusively to Us Weekly about her son Evan's battle with autism, and how she won't stop her fight to be heard.

When Jenny found out that her son had autism, she said that she made a deal with God that day. If God showed her how to fix Evan, then she would teach the world how to do it. "My perception of what is really important changed. Needing to have the best designer shoes? When your kid's sick, it's like, "Who cares?" McCarthy tells Us.
As for more kids, Jenny says "No, I got my ass kicked, I got it kicked ... Now all my attention is toward maintaining Evan's recovery, helping all these families, being a great girlfriend to Jim and that's it."

Oh, my, goodness !!!

Poor Evan, to now know his Mother thought of him as so broken she had to "fix" him.

I saw an interview with Ms. McCarthy on one of the "magazine" shows with Billy Bush.
Jenny was showing Mr. Bush Evan's school room that is in her house. He is home-schooled, because she says his immune system is so bad, he can pick up many germs.

Children with Autism need to be inclusioned with "neuro-typical" children, because this is where they learn to socialize. Not in a closed classroom with absolutely no classmates.

In US Magazine, Jenny is saying she must maintain Evan's recovery...that makes absolutely no sense. You are either recovered or not. If you must maintain it, then the Autism is still there. Autism is not a diagnosis that is removeable. A child can improve on their Autistic symptoms, but they are still Autistic.

Make up your mind, Jenny....

On Oprah, he is cured..On Larry King, he is cured....in US Magazine, he is recovered.

Evan is a beautiful little boy. He is lucky to be growing up in a home that has no worries about the cost of helping him and his Autism. Autism is very expensive. Jenny McCarthy lives in a huge mansion with financial support surrounding her. Jenny is very disillusioned when she puts herself out there like "one of the normal parent's" who has to put off paying a bill in order to pay for a therapy.

When talking about having more children...Ms. McCarthy talks about having her ass kicked....pretty sad. I hope that when Evan grows up and is able to grasp the things his mother has written about him, she is able to explain away her insensitive remarks about her son.

When you are in the public eye, you are open for scrutiny. Our family has experienced this, not too the extreme as Ms. McCarthy, but we were scrutinized pretty good.

Jenny McCarthy makes some pretty bold claims.
There is so much information on autism that is not relayed on talk shows like Oprah and Extra. Jenny McCarthy, when grasping for facts, throws out insults. Jenny McCarthy is really not the Autism expert she portrays herself to be. She did not invent the GFCF diet. The diet has been around at least 15 years...we had our oldest on the GFCF diet back then.
The thing that really gets me the most about Jenny McCarthy is the fact that when she asks for testimonials on improved children with Autism, she does not want to see the children that are improving without the GFCF diet or without chelation. She does not want to show the world that children, such as my own, are progressing as fast or faster without the use of biomedical interventions.

I have said this from the beginning of the whole Biomed vs. Non-Biomed "war"....there needs to be two sides shown to everything. You must give parent's who have children that are newly diagnosed with autism the ability to make decisions with a clear head. Not with propaganda and celebrity-endorsed alternative treatments.

EXTREME MAKEOVER EXPERIENCE...

2008-10-12T19:48:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking alot lately about our home and being selected to have an Extreme Makeover. I get asked daily what it was like and were the people really that nice, like they
are on television???
I have kept pretty quiet about this publicly. I really did not want to seem to be gloating or
arrogant. My family truly does feel blessed and we know God had a huge hand in this.

In late October of 2006, I received a statement from our mortgage company (who is now
out of business) stating they were going to start foreclosure proceedings as early as 30 days
from the date of the letter.
I take my kids to school every morning. Patrick would drop us off in the morning and I would
walk home to get Caitlin off on the bus.
The first week of November, I walked home. I always do my talk with God on my walks, this
morning was no different, except that I asked God to help me financially. I never have done
this before, and I felt guilty that day. I asked God to take the burden of losing my home off
of my shoulders. Suddenly, I felt a great relief come off of my chest....I really felt like every-
thing was going to be okay.
The next day, I receive a call from my neighbor, who nominated us for Extreme Makeover
Home Edition. He said he had received a call from a producer on EMHE who wanted to
talk to me ASAP. I was so nervous.
I talked to the producer for over 2 hours that Monday...he told me he would be here to see
us by Thursday of the same week....yes, that fast.
My husband and my heads were spinning.....what if we don't get it? What if they don't like
us??? (how could that be?).
We did not have any idea of all of the behind the scenes work that goes into making our dream
come true, but Man, they work their tails off.

All I will say is this about the process, because it is a very personal experience.....the people
who are involved from the camerman to the stars of the show (Hello Ty, Eduardo, Paul, Paige,
and Tanya) are 100% behind you and your family. You worry about nothing....your home,
your kids, your family, your neighbors, etc.

I will say this....when I heard Ty yelling in the megaphone "O'Donnell Family, Patrick, Jeanette,
Caitlin, Deirdre, Erin, Meaghan, Patrick, Kiernan..come on out", I thought I was still dreaming
from the night before.
When I saw them standing in my front yard...I saw Angels surrounded by light....I still feel
that way.

We have had many nay sayers trying to say things like:
"They don't deserve that house"...
"They will just trash that house too"....
"They won't be able to afford the bills".....
"Why did they get that house, we need it more"....etc.

I wish everyone could have this experience. I really do.
I wish everyone, once in their lives, could win the lottery like
we did....
We know we are lucky...we know we are blessed....we will never take this gift
for granted.

Our show is being reaired on Monday evening and Tuesday evening on
TVLand....this always brings up the memories we felt that week.
I wish the show could show all of the fun we had on vacation in Crested Butte, CO.
I wish the show could show the dedication and devotion the team at Adaptive Sports
in Crested Butte showed our children. With respect and dignity.....amazing.
I wish the show would show all of the behind-the-scenes personel that spent endless
time building our home. All of the volunteers from our community who rallied
together to build our home.

Every time I walk in this house, I feel them.

In our kitchen is a tin ceiling. There are hand and fingerprints all over them.
People aske me why I don't wipe them off...
I always answer, "Those hand and finger prints were put there by someone who
gave up a few hours to make sure that we had a home that was safe and secure for
our children....I like them...the fingerprints remind me of this".

In December, it will be 2 years since our Extreme Makeover Home Experience. I think
about it every day. It just doesn't happen to your family....you become a part of it...
Not too bad, huh????

A QUIET DAY....

2008-10-12T12:30:00.000-05:00

I know....how can you have a quiet day with 6 children? Especially when 5 of them have Autism???
Easy, as we continued to have more children, we had to come to an agreement on how to raise our children. Should we raise them as children who will contribute to society, or should we let them have Autism be an excuse for their behaviors and their educational future?
At 11:00, I took little Patrick, 7, to a UT-OU football party. A very big deal around here. I got back home and Patrick told me the mail had arrived. He could not get the mail, because Kiernan was home and needed attending to (you cannot leave him for a second).
In the mail was Erin, Deirdre, and Caitlin's report cards. I am proud to announce all A's and B's on all 3. I would like all A's, but c'mon....A's and B's are pretty darn good.
Erin went out about 2pm shopping with her best friend and her mother. I put a 20 pound turkey in the oven and went to the store. I had enough store points to get the fabulous roasting pan I have been saving for....yippee!!! Little things make me happy, can ya tell???
We watched the game, UT won....we ate turkey....I picked up little Patrick from his party...Erin returned home and sang opera all evening. Kiernan twirled in his chair and bounced on his ball. Caitlin got her pretzels...Deirdre arranged for bowling tomorrow with her church group...and Meaghan wrote a beautiful song and sang it to us....
Yep, A Quiet Day....

DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY...

2008-09-19T19:25:00.002-05:00

Tonight is Erin, our 11-year-olds very first Middle School Dance. She was so excited that she came home, after school, and told me she was going upstairs to practice her "dance moves".
Erin is our daughter who got a karaoke room and stage....she was born to perform.
Erin is 11-years-old and 5 foot 8 inches. She is just over 170 pounds..she has ALWAYS been large. We have had everything checked, but honestly, we come from a very tall and "large" family.
As Erin's father took her to the dance I said, "No kissing boys tonight"...
Erin giggled..."I promise I will not kiss a boy"...

Oh, Man, this growing up thing is hard...
Not on my children....
On their Mother !!!!!

ANGELS IN FLIGHT......

2008-09-14T08:29:00.002-05:00

As I was returning home yesterday, after an amazing experience in Seattle, which I love, btw....I was given another "Angel" moment.
You see, I truly believe God has placed his Angels around us to guide us when we might not be feeling exactly the way we should...too depressed, too big-headed, too secure in ourselves, etc.
My plane coming into Denver was really late. I was 5 minutes late from my departure time on the flight from Denver to Austin. I ran around the corner and to my next flight. Luckily, the Denver to Austin flight was late also.
I caught my breath and then called home. I was so excited to be going home, yet so sad to be leaving some wonderful new people I had met.
I boarded the plane and was getting into my seat...1D...easy to find, ya think? I look down and there sits the most beautiful yellow lab, who happened to be a guide dog.
I glance over to see the person who owns the dog, thinking I would find an elderly gentleman or woman...but, to my surprise, sat the most beautiful 20-something young woman. She was stunning.
I asked if she was the trainer of the dog, since she did not look visually impaired to me...she told me it was her guide dog. I then ask, "Are you visually impaired"? She said, "yes"... I apologized for being so blunt, but I wanted to get to her story, it's the Gladys Kravitz in me....
This amazing young woman told me at the age of 12, she began experiencing painful migraines. After many doctor appoinments, her mother took her to have her eyes checked. There, they found a brain tumor. The doctors thought it was behind her eye, but when they went in, it was not fully operable. They left part of the tumor behind, and with that, scratched her eye and left her 80% blind.
She then said, "I truly am blessed, I just lost my sight, not my life".
I told her about my children and Autism...she happened to work with Autistic children while she was in Hawaii growing up. I then told her about our blessing of our Extreme Makeover. She remembered the show. I told her about Trusera and the fact that she is the prime reason we need an on-line site like Trusera, where people could get inspiration from extraordinary people such as herself.
This beautiful young woman and myself talked for the entire 2 hour and 5 minute flight. She was intelligent, thoughtful, joyful, and inspiring. She is thankful to be alive from an illness that should have ended her life 12 years ago. She doesn't look at what losing her sight took away from her, but what losing her sight gave her.
After we landed, she told me how she believes God puts you in the right places.....She is so correct, but, not for the reason she believes. God put her there for ME!!!!!

RUSSELL WHO????

2008-09-08T13:03:00.002-05:00

Well, here we go again....I turned the Video Music Award's off early last night,
first because I really prefer Country Music, but I really wanted to see Kid Rock sing
"All Summer Long"..
and second, I like to see the opening act....rather boring...so off it went.

Today, I hear the host...Russell Brand...who I have never heard of before and I am
sure I am not the only one, made this comment, among many other stupid remarks....
"Some people, I think they're called racists, say America is not ready for a black president.
"But I know America to be a forward thinking country because otherwise why would you have let that retard and cowboy fella be president for eight years? "

So now, we have Hollywood making it okay for the R word to be said not only in a
movie by Ben Stiller, but on a Nationally broadcast Awards show.

Notice, this Russell person did say "black" and not the "N" word...so now I assume
"Retard" is the new "N" word.

So I have to say, thanks Ben Stiller and Russell "Who Cares what your name is" for
allowing the use of the word "Retard" to be used in our everday talk to "attack" people
you don't care for...like our President. I pray that none of your children are ever affected
by Mental Retardation, but if they are, I hope you remember the wording you used-believe
me, it does hurt more people than you know.

TROPIC BLUNDER.....

2008-08-15T08:38:00.005-05:00

I know I wrote about this yesterday, but when I read some reviews this morning,
written by movie critics who dismiss the use of the word "retard" as not significant
in the movie....I got a bit miffed, to say the least.

Examples of reviews:
* " . . . a scene in which Lazarus criticizes Speedman for 'going full retard' in 'Simple Jack' is a put-down only of overweening, ambitious actors who take roles as physically and mentally challenged characters because they're proven Oscar-bait." -- Ann Hornaday, the Washington Post* " 'Tropic Thunder' is drawing fire from special interest groups for . . . its frequent use of the word 'retard,' but discerning audiences will know where the humor is targeted. And they'll be laughing too hard to take offense." -- Christian Toto, the Washington Times * "The script's references to 'retards' have generated some pre-release controversy, but advocates for people with learning disabilities should find something worthier to protest; the target here is the pretensions of movie stars who think that by adopting a stammer they can understand the problems of the people they portray." -- John Beifuss, the Commercial Appeal (Memphis, Tenn.)* "Stiller isn't making fun of those with mental retardation. He's skewering an industry that honors actors who prove their seriousness by taking such roles." -- Daniel M. Kimmel, the Worcester (Mass.) Telegram & Gazette

This is what is said in the movie:

Ben Stiller's character: "There were times when I was doing Jack when I actually felt retarded. Like really retarded." ;
Robert Downey Jr.'s character: "Oh yeah. Damn."
Stiller: "In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb."
Downey: "To be a moron."
Stiller: "Yeah."
At another point, about acting like a person with intellectual disabilities, they say:
Stiller: "It's what we do, right?"
Downey: "Everybody knows you never do a full retard."
Stiller: "What do you mean?"
Downey: "Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Count toothpicks to your cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard."

Because I am the Mother of 3 children, who are labeled with Autism and Mental Retardation I have the right to be offended by the "r" word and it use in the film.

Ben Stiller has taken the "r" word and made it justafiable to use. Mr. Stiller, when you justify a derogatory term such as "retard", you make it okay for others to use that word. It is no less justifiable than using the "N" word when referring to an African-American. Or the "K" word when referring to a person who is Jewish.

The movie critics are no better. They too justify the use of the "r" word. As one lame critic wrote..."discerning audiences will know where the humor is targeted..."
AS IF THAT MAKES IT OKAY?????

I, along with Special Olympics, am offended...but not for me....for my children. Mr. Stiller, you owe them a huge apology along with the rest of the mentally challenged community. You have small children...it is your job, as their parent, to teach them better.

SHAME SHAME ON YOU BEN STILLER.....

2008-08-14T11:29:00.000-05:00

I went to the grocery store recently...heck, I live at the grocery store, it seems.
Caitlin was buzzing joyfully and flapping her hands so hard, I thought she was going to take off flying. SHe was behaving and so happy..I don't know why, but she was.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a young woman yells down the aisle at me..."HEY, SHUT YOUR RETARD UP"!!!!!
I had to stop, take a breath, and grasp the words I just heard. I explained to this early-twenties-something, Generation X, hateful person that she was not "retarded" but Autistic.
This not-so-lovely person said, "LIKE THERE IS A DIFFERENCE"...
I explained, very calmly by the way, that my daughter was much smarter than she could ever think about being. I also explained that when you use words like "Retard", "Moron", "Stupid", etc....you are not hurting the person you are calling a name to, you are showing your "ignorance".
Now, I hear, there is a movie out that Ben Stiller helped to pen. I like Ben Stiller...he is funny. The fact that he chose to use a word like "Retard" in his movie...not so funny.
Now Ben Stiller has made it okay for young people, like the young woman who berated my daughter in the grocery store, to do the same to other differently-challenged people....
SHAME ON YOU Ben Stiller...SHAME ON YOU!!!

PICTURE PERFECT....

2008-08-06T14:29:00.003-05:00

Amy sent all of us some lovely cards from her new home. She wrote a special message to all of us. I asked Caitlin "What did Amy write to you"?

Caitlin said," Amy told me to keep doing my art"...

I said, "Are you going to keep doing your art"?

Caitlin replied," I already am doing my art" !!!

I said,"When"?

Caitlin said, "Yesterday"....

I said,"What did you draw"?

Caitlin replied, "Shapes".....

Okay, "Can I see the shapes"?

Above is the masterpiece she brought me....It took her one day....

PICTURE PERFECT....

GOD REQUIRED ANOTHER ANGEL....

2008-08-03T19:36:00.003-05:00

I heard the news this week about a friend from Pflugerville High School. Debra (Debbie) Webster passed away, unexpectedly, on July 18, 2008. We just celebrated our 30 year class reunion last month, and unfortunate for us, Debbie was not there.

She always kept up with class activities, what I have been told....

Debbie Webster was the type of person who stayed to herself. If she was your friend, you certainly knew it. She was smart, smarter than the rest of us. She was funny. She was pretty, although I don't think the boy's knew it yet.....

Debbie NEVER had a bad word to say about anyone....she was helpful and kind.

This was the obituary that was in the Tyler paper:

Services are pending for Debra Youngs, 47, of Troup. Mrs. Youngs died July 18 in Grand Cayman.

Cook-Walden/Capital Parks Funeral Home in Pflugerville will direct the services once date and time is set.
Mrs. Youngs is survived by husband Lance Youngs of Troup; mother, Linda Webster of Leander; brothers, Roger Webster of Leander and Andy Webster of Conroe; mother-inlaw and father-in-law, Mary Anne and Elam Coney of Troup; and other relatives.

I don't know why God takes beautiful young women so young....I lost 2 good friends last year who died suddenly also. God must need them up in Heaven, more than we need them here.

I guess I am selfish and am not ready to let my friends go so quickly.

Rest in Peace Debra....you will be missed.....

TAMING THE SAVAGE BEAST.....

2008-07-23T13:36:00.000-05:00

Taming the SAVAGE Beast....
Okay, this may surprise some people, but maybe not.... I believe that we live in a country, the great U.S.A., that allows us the freedom to say and feel what we wish. Just ask the A.C.L.U., who defends every creepy organization their is...including NAMBLA...
I think Michael Savage has the right to say whatever he feels...no matter how wrong Mr. Savage is. I won't even repeat the ignorant things he said on his talk show.
I will state however, that I believe he is correct in one aspect. I think that the diagnosis of Autism has been spread so thin, that anyone can fit into the broad spectrum that they have made Autism. I believe that if you "doctor shop", like many people I know have, you will get a diagnosis of Autism for your child...and in turn, better services for you child.
I believe that is what Mr. Savage was trying to say.
When our oldest was diagnosed, the Autism spectrum DID NOT include ADHD, OCD, Bi-polar, Asperger's, or Sensory Integration Dysfunction....it did just add PDD-NOS, Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified...The diagnosis just had Autism and PDD-NOS.
With the addition of the other disorders, now linked to Autism, the Autism Spectrum grew, as did the number of Autistic people. I believe the frustration Mr. Savage feels with these added diagnosis and the added burden on our Social Services made him make his comments.
This being said....I DO NOT condone the manner or way in which he made his statements. Technically, He attacked the parent's and doctor's of the children. He said we did not discipline our children, have father's for our children, and that the doctor's misdiagnosed our children.Now, that being said, he is a buffoon...I never liked him. His voice grates on my nerves.Yet, I have the privelege of being able to change the station.When my book is published, people will have the ability to not buy it and not read it.....
Dang,Michael Savage said what he felt. Although I don't agree with him, if we take away his right to vent....we have to take away all of our rights.

ON MY MIND....

2008-07-22T22:53:00.002-05:00

Okay, I just have had something on my mind...and if I do not post it soon...I WILL EXPLODE!!!!

The WWE has announced with Jenny McCarthy that they will be hosting a Saturday Night Main Event on August 2, 2008...for Generation Rescue. You know, the Generation Rescue that states all of the bad things in immunizations cause Autism.....

Okay...here is my problem....

1st-Brittainy Spears is in attendance at the fund raiser....looking very healthy. Today I see her on the front page of AOL smoking a cigarette in the presence of her children. If you look up the ingredients in a ciggie....it has similar chemicals as a friggin shot....are you kidding me?

2nd-Steroids shot up or ingested by these wrestlers....'nuff said on that one.

3rd-Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez...the epitome of indescretion.

4th-can we say Silicone Implants deluxe at the Generation soiree? These have to do some kind of damage.

We have a group of "informed" individuals, raising money for a group who is so anti-vaccine and anti-vaccine ingredients that they cannot see what is sitting right before them....Toxin City.

If I was going to pick a group to represent my organization and Autism...this WOULD NOT be the group....

Okay, now my mind is clear...Thanks!

Oh, I just want to give a huge Thank you to the reader from Murrieta, Ca....hugs from me.

WORDS UNSPOKEN...

2008-07-17T20:31:00.002-05:00

All day today, our youngest son, Kiernan, has been babbling. Not true words, but babbling. "Dadadadada, Mamamamama, aaayeeee, bababababa....."

I have not one idea of what he is trying to tell us...I just know it is very important to Kiernan and I hang on every "word".

This is my translation...

"Okay Mama, I am tired of being home for days with these loud people. School starts on Monday and you better have me ready for the bus."
" Oh, and tell Daddy "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" for me tomorrow...k?" "Are we going to have the cake with sprinkles?"..."Daddy likes that type of cake".

Okay Kiernan...got it!

I WISH AMY WERE BACK IN AUSTIN....

2008-07-13T18:39:00.003-05:00

....Cause I'm Missing Her Tonight....

Not the right words to the song, but she'll know what I mean.

My family was graced with the presence of an amazing young woman, for the
past year. She slowly and cautiously became a "huge" part of our family.

Even Caitlin, our most hardened critic, loves Amy....

Amy helped me periodically with my children, over the past year, while
waiting to graduate from the University Of Texas with HONORS, mind you.
She became an integral part of our very unique family, and she fit in just like
the "puzzle piece" we are supposed to represent.

Well, the inevitable happened.....last Thursday, Amy graduated.....

She is now living in Huntsville, Tx, soon to start her new job at a residential
facility for Autistic children and adults.
I would feel more anxious about her moving, but waiting for her in Huntsville is
a great young man who loves her very much. Even I cannot fault her for that....

So, Amy....We miss you and We love you....
I won't write any more, or Meaghan will ask me why I am crying!!!

LOVE YA...The O'Donnell Family

A BOY AND HIS DIVA...

2008-07-12T20:30:00.002-05:00

Yes, that is correct, that is my little Wrestling-obsessed son with his very own Wrestling Diva.

Her name is Amy Dumas (she wrestled under the name of LITA) and she was playing a gig in Austin at my brother's club. She has a group now, THE LUCHAGORS, and my brother booked them last night.

My brother then arranged for my son, the world's foremost authority on Wrestling, to meet Ms. Dumas.

Of course my son, Mr. Chatty Man, was close-lipped and very shy....

Today, all we heard about was LITA this and LITA that....

Little Pat listened to every song on the CD she gave him and signed for him, except the songs with the "b" word....he is very anti-cursing. I raised such a good little boy.

A big "cyber-hug" to Ms. Amy Dumas....you made one little boy a very happy wrestling fan and an even more AMY DUMAS fan....Thanks.

INDEPENDENCE DAY....

2008-07-04T09:11:00.002-05:00

Happy 4th of July...Independence Day....

We celebrate this holiday in America...it is the day the US gained their
Independence following the Revolutionary War.
We live in the greatest Country in the World. We have the rights so many
others will never know. We have the ability to go so far...that includes
our children.
Our children are very lucky to have been born in America. They have the
ability to get an incredible education, invaluable therapies and the choices
of some of the greatest doctors in the world. Nothing in America will hold
our children back.
Autistic children in other countries are not so lucky. They are given up on
from the moment they are diagnosed. Some are deemed undesireable and
put away.
How lucky we, as American's are, to be able to educate our children with
Autism and show the world how amazing they truly are.

Independence also means the ability to teach our children how to do things
so eventually they can grow up and be more independent. That is the goal
in our home. To teach our children how to be responsible and able to eventually
maintain an independent lifestyle.

So, on this Independence Day 2008, I wish you all a HAPPY and SAFE
4th of July....

Our neighborhood parade is starting soon......HAPPY 4th.

THE WHEELS ON THE BUS...

2008-07-02T10:26:00.003-05:00

As I put Kiernan on his bus this morning, it reminded me of something.
Next year, our 8 year old son and our 10 year old daughter will not get
bus service from school.
You see, little Patrick and Erin have been "weaned" out of Special Education services.
That includes riding the "little bus".
The "little bus" does not bother us. On this bus is the safety away from the
cruel NT children who find it necessary to bully the ones who they feel are
less than themselves. But, in the long run, these NT children are the ones
who are far more disturbed than our children.

The young man, who last year felt it necessary to yell at Deirdre on the
Middle School bus. He has had a horrible life....his mother died of cancer,
his father wants nothing to do with him, and of course, he is being raised
by his Grandparent's...who cannot control him.
So, we are left to deal with him yelling at my daughter on the bus.
No....I did not take well to this.
I called the Principal of the school and stated..."You take care of this,
or I will"....
He took care of it.....

There is a stigma about riding "THE LITTLE BUS"....we have found nothing
but loving, nurturing persons driving and attending these smaller than average
buses.

We only have 2 on these buses now.....Caitlin and Kiernan. I assume they
will always ride them. That is okay with me.
Erin will ride the "regular" big bus to Middle School.....Deirdre will ride the
"regular" big bus to High School....Little Pat and Meaghan will walk to and from
school every day (with my supervision, of course).

I am very proud of my children for their accomplishments and their hard
work for overcoming alot of hardships. But, next time you decide to make
fun of "THE LITTLE BUS"...remember, I still have a couple who ride that
bus and they are pretty amazing children.

CLASS OF 1978

2008-07-01T18:52:00.002-05:00

Back row: Doug, Tom, Mark, Chris, Bubba (Clarence), James
2nd row: Melody, Kim, Sandra, ME, Linda, Judy, Janie, Suzette, Allan
3rd row:Curtis, Susan, Lori, Connie, Linda, Sara, Larry, and Darlene

These are a few of the amazing people I went to school with from the
6th grade until I graduated 12th grade.
We were a strong class and I consider them all my friends
to this day.

I was very quiet up until my Senior Year of high school...hard
to believe, but very true. I was a shy, unsure, insecure young
girl. I went through green glasses and braces, I was a fashion
maven, even at that age.
I went through a bout with Anorexia Nervosa and had to be
hospitalized through the Summer. These wonderful people
made sure when I returned to school that fall, that I was not
judged or teased.

I made sure at this class reunion to tell all of them that I LOVE them
and that they meant the world to me. I thanked them all for
standing by me and my family these past 2 years. They were all
so proud of me when we received the home makeover.

I had a blast this past weekend. We all have aged a bit...but, when
I look into their eyes, I see the beautiful young people I grew up with.
I am so lucky that I was blessed with these people.

CLASS OF 1978...

2008-06-23T22:33:00.002-05:00

My 30 year High School Reunion is in 4 days. I am so excited.
I graduated from Pflugerville High School in 1978. I was 17 year old, and
the youngest person in the class.
The drinking age was 18 at the time and I was one of the only ones not
legal in my class. NO, it did not keep me from drinking.
I look forward to this reunion. We only had around 80 kids in my class.
I loved them all...for different reasons.

If I get a chance to tell them all something this weekend...
I would tell them this...

Thanks for being there..even though I never said it before.
Thanks for taking a girl who thought she was hideous....thanks to my sister...
and making her fit in where she never thought she would.
Thanks for not judging me when I was Anorexic, fat, a Kicker, A Smoker, or a
geek.
Thanks for being there, 30 years later, when my son was in the hospital.

If I had to go back 30 years in time, I would change a few thing.

I would not care if I was the smartest, funniest, cutest, or skinniest. I would not care
if I was the most popular or if the most popular guy in the world liked me the best ( I won in the long run, I have my husband)...I would be ME...that is pretty cool.

I hope to Hell I am teaching my children that is what is most important..
Being them...that is pretty COOL.

4 YEARS AGO...

2008-06-22T21:40:00.003-05:00

The other day, I was questioned about a comment I made 4 years ago in a newspaper story they ran on our family. The reporter, Andrea Ball, spent the better part of 18 months working with our family. She got to know us, and she got to know us well....too well, Maybe.
Andrea wrote an amazing story. It was about our children and how they were 4 years ago. She was spot on with everything she said....4 years ago.

4 years later...some things have changed.

I NO LONGER look at Autism as a doom and gloom, mercury caused my children's autism, bleak kind of thing. I look at Autism as a miraculous event that has made me a better person.

I was questioned about a comment I made about wanting to sterilize Caitlin...yes, I still feel this way. Caitlin is a severely autistic young woman who should never have to make the decision on whether or not she should carry a child. Caitlin has no interest in boys, so the only reason she would get pregnant would be from result of rape. Hard to say, but true.

I was questioned about a comment I made about vaccinations causing my children's autism. We were being wooed by a local organization who were telling me about Mercury in the vaccinations and how they made my children's guts go bad and how it caused their brains to be infected with the Measles virus which caused their autism.....okay, I went with that for about 6 months. Then I got my brain back.

I was questioned about a comment I made about taking 2 with me when I died.....I, in no way, meant I am going to kill my 2 children because they are Autistic. I said, "They better never tell me that I am going to die, because I am taking 2 with me". I could not bear knowing I was going to die and not know what will happen to my 2 most severely affected children.

I will post the story at the end of this blog.....Andrea did a wonderful job. She became part of our family when she was here.....I hope she still considers us part of hers.

So, lately I have been bitter towards Message Boards...I am done with that now.
I had my little fit and am better. It just bugged me that a certain board member thought
it was okay to post a piece about my children. I am a mother after all...

So here, without further adieu, is the very long story Andrea Ball wrote.....
I call it a bathroom read....I also call it amazing...
But please remember, It was written 4 YEARS AGO...

http://www.statesman.com/metrostate/content/metro/autism/1003autmain.html

Here is the video Kelly West did for us:

http://www.statesman.com/metrostate/content/metro/autism/video.html

STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND PARENT...

2008-06-21T16:50:00.004-05:00

It truly does amaze me how the people who spend the most time on Autism Message Boards
are the most critical of other parent's. We all have a common bond...children with Autism.
Some choose to be critical of others who don't do the biomedical approach....some choose to
criticize those who go the biomedical approach (and no, I do not mean GF/CF diets).
I was targeted by a mother of children with Autism on one such message board. She has been
nit-picking me for years. I find her rather redundant and really, really boring.
This person, along with her clonies, spend hours on the computer. What the heck are their
children doing? Playing with matches, perhaps?
These "parents" sure dole out alot of advice to me and other Neurodiverse thinking parents, but really..what kind of parent sits in front of a computer all day just to rag and bag on other
parent's who are going through the same thing.

I say this with all of the compassion I can muster, because frankly, I could care less about the
parent's of these precious children......I care about their precious children who are probably at their pants legs begging them for some attention and guidance....

STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER.....

Where are my kids, you might ask???
2 of our children are down the street playing with a friend at their house.
1 is upstairs playing with her High School Musical toys.
1 is asleep on the couch, he is very tired from waking up at 5:30 am.
1 is in her room on the computer and listening to her Ipod...she just helped me
with dinner, so I let her go back to her life.
1 is in her room being a 17 year old Autistic child who does not like the thunder
storm we are having.

All safe and sound. But, I did wait until almost 5:00 pm to return to the computer
after a quick computer check this morning.

Again, I will say to those who are so OCD that they are afraid they will miss
a fight or a chance to call someone a name...

STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER......AND PARENT.

I want to add something, since I have a "shy" person who wants to comment
ANONYMOUSLY..you know how much I love that???
I do spend 2 times a day catching up on the message boards....I blog about
Autism, I live Autism....I need to know what people think.

I get really angry when a few parent's on the boards, and they know who they
are, make a game out of putting down other parent's on these boards. It is way
beyond pathetic....

To my Anonymous fan...I know who you are...thanks for visiting me so much.
I am flattered.

Zzzzz...

2008-06-20T20:40:00.003-05:00

Zzzzz, that is what I want to write after most of the posts
I read on Autism Message Boards. The same boring people, writing
the same boring things.
First...how very sad I am that my child has autism...boohoo for me, my life
is over. How very sad I am for your child(ren) that you are sad for them.
Second...We know you believe thimerosal causes Autism...okay, next subject.
Third...There is so much you can do with your children instead of them staring
at you typing on the computer. Really, they would enjoy some "quality" time with
you.
Fourth...blaming failing marriages on Autism...guess what? Your marriage probably
would not have lasted anyway. Autism is just a very good excuse. Any marriage
takes work. Life ain't easy, but how boring would it be if it were.

Let us really bring Autism into the forefront...let us yell from the top of our lungs...
AUTISM IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE....AUTISM IS OUR CHILDREN......

We do not have time to wallow in self pity in our home. We do not have time to
blame anyone or anything for our children being diagnosed. We do not have
time to focus on anything but our children who are so involved with being children, they
do not have time for much else.

I am just a mother raising 6 children to grow up and be the best people they can be..
I have a long road ahead of me, and so do my kids. But, by what they have proven to
me so far...my job will be a piece of cake.

HUB BUB.....

2008-06-19T21:50:00.004-05:00

I love being a part of the Autism Hub...it was one of my quests in life, so to speak.
Today, I was checking on the blogs and new blog writings. I was a bit taken back
that a blog member was on here...I had never noticed her being part of the Autism
Hub before.

Heck, who am I to say who can be part of the blog...but 4 years ago, a wonderful story
was written about my family...here is what one Autism Hub blog member wrote about us
4 years ago...

Lady, I Like My Cigar, Too, But Sometimes I Take It Out of My Mouth
Okay, so that headline was rude. I admit to it. But Groucho certainly had a point when he so aptly commented on one woman's prodigious reproductive skill. And I think there is a point here as well.First, a disclaimer. My heart goes out to this family. I am parenting two underage children, of which 50% are autistic, and it is hard. I simply cannot imagine how somebody - even a well-partnered and supported somebody - could survive with 5 autistic children (and one NT to spare).My question is WHY KEEP GOING? I understand that having only one child who is disabled is no reason not to try for another. But each time, they tried and "lost the statistics battle". I understand that "whoopses" happen. And I understand that they were pregnant with one when a second was diagnosed. But still... Maybe it is my personal prejudice against overpopulating the planet in general...combined with my first hand knowledge of what it is taking to get things in order for just ONE autistic child. *Shaking head*...I just don't understand. I simply hope that the resources truly are available, in both quality and quantity, to make these children's lives happy and healthy ones.AUTISTIC CONJECTURE OF THE DAYOne Family's Struggle With Autism - The Genetic FactorAug. 16, 2005 — Jeanette and Patrick O'Donnell were overjoyed by the arrival of their firstborn daughter, Caitlin Carole. But 2 1/2 years later, their baby girl still wasn't speaking. Then the O'Donnells received a frightening diagnosis: Caitlin was autistic. The O'Donnells thought that if the condition was genetic, they wouldn't have anymore children. But they say that doctors assured them autism was not passed down from the parents' genes. The young couple resumed their dream of having a big family. Along came Dierdre, Erin and Meaghan. They were a happy family, but then Erin stopped talking. Once again, doctors made the painful diagnosis: autism. "By the time Erin was diagnosed, we already had four [children]," Patrick said. And by that point, Jeanette was pregnant with their son, Patrick. Then the O'Donnells got an unplanned surprise, and little Kiernan came along. Each Child Affected DifferentlyOne by one, the O'Donnells were given the same dreaded diagnosis. All told, the they have six children under their roof in Austin, Texas. Five of them fall on the spectrum of disorders called autism — Meaghan is the only child who does not. Today, research shows a strong genetic component is at work with the disease. An estimated 1.5 million people suffer from autism, which the Autism Society of America describes as "a complex developmental disability that affects an individual in the areas of social interaction and communication." Autism affects each person differently and some have more severe complications than others. The O'Donnell children mirror the many distinct forms this complex disorder takes. Dr. David Amaral, of the MIND Institute in Sacramento, Calif., says that studying these differences could change the way doctors treat autism. "The benefit to the kids and to families will be that we'll be able to predict what will be the best treatment for a particular type of autism. Currently, we can't do that," he said. Caitlin, 14, and Kiernan, 4, the eldest and youngest, are the bookends of the O'Donnell family encyclopedia of autism. They display hallmarks of the condition — they walk on their toes, their bodies rock, arms flap, they often screech. Both are profoundly disturbed by certain environmental changes. Amaral said if you asked the children why they were upset or frightened by certain situations, they wouldn't have any insight into it. On the other end of the spectrum are Erin, 8, and Little Pat, 5, who can describe what they are feeling. Pat will hide his eyes from strangers, but says he does so because "he's nervous." Both Erin and Pat made dramatic turnarounds. "When I was about 3 years old, on my second day of school I started to speak," Erin said. But they still have strong reactions to sensory stimulation. While Erin is soothed by bubbles on her skin, Pat is terrorized by running water. And then there is Dierdre, the "quirky" one. She has a form of autism called Asperger's Syndrome. People with Asperger's will become obsessed with one particular subject. "They'll go on talking about a topic of interest to them and not take any cues from you that you're not interested," Amaral said. "You still have at the core this deficit of social function." Jeanette said it's painful for Dierdre to sit with the family and eat dinner. She prefers to eat alone, one item at a time. Children That Fit in the FamilyNo two O'Donnell children has an identical set of symptoms, but they all share one defining characteristic — a failure to have appropriate social interactions. All of the O'Donnell children have speech challenges, avoid eye contact and display little facial emotion. "It's not that they can't have any expression of emotion or attachment, it's just that it's very different," Amaral said. Today, all the children except Kiernan attend regular school; Caitlin is helped in school by an attendant. The O'Donnells say patience and a sense of humor get them through. "We laugh," Patrick said. "We have to laugh. If we don't laugh, we wouldn't be ourselves." And they have conviction that their children matter. "I'm very proud of what our children have accomplished," Patrick said. With their five distinct personalities, the O'Donnell children are a unique bridge to help researchers learn more about the mysterious world of autism. And each in their own singular way, they bring love and joy to a very special family. "We have children that are unique," Jeanette says. "We have children that fit in our family."
// posted by Susan @ 11:56 PM 0 comments

I commented then about my reaction to a mother of a child with Autism commenting on my family and how ashamed I was then...my post was not published. I posted again today, when I realized that this mother was now a Hub member....
I shall wait and see what is allowed to be posted on the same blog post I tried to post to 4 years ago.....

We all are trying to raise our children...when we become judgmental..it changes us......

My children were all supposed to be here..for that I am thankful. Because someone does
not believe in having alot of children for whatever reason, don't judge. Heck, I could mention
how being a single parent is very selfish for a child...don't they deserve a father ( I really don't believe this, but there are many who do)....
Do you see where I am going? Please people...think before you hit the ENTER key.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY...

2008-06-15T21:08:00.002-05:00

Happy Father's Day to all of the amazing Dad's out there who are raising
some of the most amazing children.

To my husband...an amazing Father to our children...

Thanks.

Thanks for the long hours you work.
Thanks for the unconditional love you show us.
Thanks for not trying to "cure" or "recover" your awesome children.
Thanks for not complaining when you are too tired to help with homework,
or wake up early to drive one of them to school for a special project...

I am so very lucky.

Thanks to the other Father's out there who do this because they
want to, not because they have to.

Happy Father's Day.....